


What Comes Next

by RoyHankins



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Dissociation, Family, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Nonbinary Character, Paranoia, Post-Canon, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Resurrection, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyHankins/pseuds/RoyHankins
Summary: The mastermind was revealed. A way out was finally available. The only questions was...what comes next?
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito
Comments: 33
Kudos: 59





	1. Out of the Dome

Of the sixteen students at the Ultimate Academy, only three were left alive.  _ So far, _ a paranoid voice whispered in Shuichi Saihara’s head.  _ You can’t be sure of what lies outside the dome _ .

With the mastermind discovered, the seeming truth of their situation revealed, and Keebo’s sacrifice to set the rest of them free, Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko looked out to whatever was to come next.

What comes next.

It was impossible to really think about. The killing game they’d been playing had only lasted...what? A week? Two weeks?  _ The only two weeks of your entire life.  _ Shuichi didn’t know if that was really true, some part of him still hoped there was some other explanation for all that had happened.

“Hey Shuichi, are you gonna just stand there?” Himiko called, breaking Shuichi out of the trance he’d been in, staring at the light coming in from outside. Blinking his eyes to get a better focus, he realized both the Ultimate Magician and Assassin were looking at him expectantly, and he felt embarrassed for wasting their time.

An apology was on his lips, but then he swallowed it. Better to try and kick old habits, right? “Let’s go.” Lightly running to catch up with them, together they all headed towards the hole. Even as they got closer, the bright lights on the other side made it impossible to make out any details. Going completely blind, Shuichi volunteered to just jump out first.

That had been a bad idea. He ended up falling for a lot longer than he was expecting, landing roughly on his hands and knees. Nothing felt broken, but he still cried out in pain. His mind immediately started trying to analyze how long the fall had been, when he heard Maki ask, “Are you okay?” To most, the way she said the words would convey disinterest in the answer, but he’d come to know Maki well enough to know she was concerned.

“I’m fine!” he called back up to her, and as he turned his attention to the direction of her voice, he began to understand part of their situation. The dome that had surrounded the city was genuinely enormous, and the light that had blinded them from it was not something shared over the whole surface, but instead was being focused directly on the large tear in the structure’s material. Judging from his perspective, Shuichi guessed from where he’d fallen to where he landed was about a twenty foot drop, and made sure to let his friends know.

Apparently Maki was pretty experienced in making jumps from that height, because she soon came tumbling down, landing in a perfectly executed roll that left her completely uninjured. That done, she turned back up to where now only Himiko waited and extended her arms out in front of her. “Your turn Himiko, I’m ready to catch you.”

There was a short pause before they heard anything back from inside the dome. “A-are you sure?” Maki didn’t say anything to that, but did start emanating an aura of menace that even Himiko could feel from where she was. “Okay, okay, I’m coming!” Sure enough, Shuichi watched her jump out as well, and as promised Maki made sure to catch her. Himiko turned to look at Shuichi as Maki set her down, telling him, “Normally, I’d just cast a Fly spell, but I’m out of MP right now.” How Himiko continued to put up that fantasy even after all they’d been through, Shuichi didn’t know, but he wasn’t able to ridicule her for it either. Anything that helped keep her sane was something he was happy to support.

Now that they were now all out of the grounds of the Ultimate Academy, once and for all, they were able to take stock of their surroundings. The dome appeared to be contained in some larger building. The rest of the interior reminded Shuichi of the scale of a military flight hanger, or a studio for shooting films, but on a magnified scale. The spotlights that were aimed at the hole they’d come out of were unmanned, so Shuichi guessed they were likely operated from some kind of remote control. In point of fact, there didn’t appear to be any people in the room at all.

What there did appear to be was an exit, a set of double doors not more than fifty feet away, on the nearest wall. Hope and doubt warred in Shuichi’s chest as they all walked towards the doors, only for them to suddenly open on their own when they were halfway there. A man came running out, huffing and puffing.

Based on his receding hairline and sagging cheeks, this was someone rapidly approaching middle age, and from his expensive suit and briefcase Shuichi deduced him to be some sort of civil servant or businessman. Clearly, he was not an athlete. Once he caught sight of the three teenagers, he took a second to pause and catch his breath before jogging over to them. They didn’t know what to make of him, the first actual adult they’d seen since they’d woken up in the academy. He didn’t appear dangerous or malicious, just very winded.

After they gave him time to settle his lungs enough, he extended a hand to them, which none of them took. He let out a breath at that, before putting his hand away and telling them, “Right, we don’t have a lot of time. I’m Chikoi Muranaka, and I need you to sign some papers.” He opened his black leather briefcase, pulling out three thick sets of papers and handing one to each of them, along with a pen. With no nearby writing surfaces to use, he held up his briefcase as a substitute. Maki and Himiko didn’t seem to understand what to do with it, looking from the packets to the man and back, but Shuichi knew immediately what it was: a contract. Part of his expertise as the Ultimate Detective meant he knew how to read through them, at least partially, even if he didn’t completely understand legalese. While he did that, the man started to say, “My employer and I want to extend our sympathy after your trying ordeal, but it really is important that-”

Before he could finish whatever else he was about to say, Shuichi cut through his words. “According to the logo on page 79, you represent Team Danganronpa. Is that correct?” The man could only weakly nod at that, but before he could raise a word in his own defense, Shuichi kept talking. “I don’t think we should sign this. Based on what I can glean so far, this is a binding legal agreement that, if signed, would prevent use from pursuing legal action against Team Danganronpa for any reason.”

“ **_Do you want to die?_ ** ” Maki asked immediately, freezing the lawyer on the spot. Even if it wasn't directed at him, Shuichi shivered at the freezing cold gaze she was giving the man, and the sheer lethality it implied. If this Chikoi had seen any of the show they’d apparently been a part of, he would know just how real her threat could be.

Far less terrifyingly, Himiko handed back her packet and told him, “You heard Maki, we’re not signing them!” From what he could tell, Shuichi didn’t think Maki minded Himiko piggy-backing off of her death threat.

Sweat was starting to really pour down Chikoi’s face now, but before he could say anything more, they all heard the sound of a lot of footsteps moving quickly, and he snatched the contracts back and hid them in his briefcase. He even took the pens.

The three teenagers prepared themselves for what was coming for them now, trying to believe they were ready for anything. What actually came through the doors was not security forces in Exisals, or a legion of Monokumas, as their imaginations had begun to speculate. Instead, it appeared to be a bunch of normal people. Many of them were carrying television-quality video cameras, others microphones. They swarmed Shuichi and his friends, pushing the lawyer out of the way, and began to ask him questions.

“Hello, Shuichi Saihara? This is Nippon Television, can you tell the viewers at home how you’re dealing with the revelation that you are, in fact, a fictional character?” asked an older man with a nearly bald head, his voice coming out practiced and precise.

The question poked and prodded one of the subjects Shuichi had been doing his damndest not to think too much about since it was told to him during the final class trial. Searching for words, all Shuichi could say was, “Oh, well, um, it’s very hard...”

Meanwhile, a woman almost as young as they were was grinning brightly and holding a mic in Himiko’s face, asking, “You’re Himiko Yumeno, right? I’m your biggest fan! What happened to Tenko was so sad, I cried watching it!” Even with all the sensory overload bombarding Shuichi, he could still make out Himiko’s body go tense as the reporter said that, at the excitement in her voice. “I’m a reporter for TV Asahi, and I wanted to ask: do you wish you had died in the ritual instead of Tenko?” For perhaps the hundredth time that infinitely long day, tears began to well up in Himiko’s eyes.

On Shuichi’s other side, a foreign man struggled to ask, his Japanese clearly coming out roughly, “Good afternoon Maki Harukawa. I am news correspondent for American broadcaster. Do you think killing game was good or bad?” Perhaps it was a cultural barrier, but the sheer aura of menace that Maki was flooding in the reporters’ direction did not seem to affect him at all.

“Enough!” Someone shouted, though her words were barely audible in the din created by so many people trying to talk at once. Then, even louder, she said, “I said  **that’s enough!** I am a representative of the Public Prosecutor’s Office, and you will all be quiet now or be forced to leave!” That got their attention, and soon the many reporters were more than happy to step aside and shut their mouths. Now, Shuichi found himself facing a woman who could have been in her mid twenties, her late thirties, maybe even somewhere in her forties. Her appearance was somewhat youthful, but clearly marked by hardship and experience. The fact she stood and moved with a sense of absolute authority helped add to her indomitable quality as well. Her short black hair reminded Shuichi a little of his own, and for a second he remembered his dream, once upon a time, of getting the chance to work hand-in-hand with someone of her office.  _ A dream planted by the same people who created the rest of your memories _ .

Amazingly, one of the reporters was brave enough to speak up. “Are you here to actually arrest them for escaping the show?” It was the woman who’d been talking to Himiko, and it was unclear from the energy in her tone if she was happy at the idea or scandalized by it.

After taking in a sharp breath of air, the prosecutor closed her eyes and squeezed the bridge of her nose. “I’d hoped to get here before the peanut gallery,” she murmured, though whether it was to herself or to the Ultimates, Shuichi didn’t know. Opening her eyes once more, she fixed the reporter who’d chimed in a hard stare. “There are no plans at this time to arrest these teenagers or charge them with any crimes. That said, if you want to know more, contact our office through the proper channels, and we’ll let you know when we want to make a statement.” Then, she turned her attention fully onto Shuichi and his friends. “Come with me.” There was no question in her words as to whether that was an option for them to follow. They were coming with her, that was it.

To Shuichi’s surprise, it was Maki who stepped forward to follow her first. “...” Maki didn’t say anything, but even as they all walked out of the room, into the unknown once again, Shuichi felt like he had a pretty good idea why Maki was so ready to follow someone else for once. It meant getting away from those reporters, and no matter how tough she liked to appear on the outside, Shuichi had a feeling that this was not a great time to be prodding Maki with probing questions.

The way out of where they were required following an exact route through what felt like a labyrinth of hallways, though in Shuichi’s dazed state that might have been a fabrication of his exhausted mind. Then they reached an elevator, where they climbed up and up and up in silence. Apparently, the Ultimate Academy...set? Yes, Shuichi thought, that was probably the best word for it, the ‘set’ had been on the 5th basement floor. Once at ground level, they saw a lot more people walking around, all of whom stared at the teenagers following the prosecutor around. Many of them looked guilty, though Shuichi couldn’t tell if his brain was putting something that it wished to see.

Soon, they’d reached what looked to be a large lobby, and the branding everywhere that read ‘Team Danganronpa’ gave Shuichi a big clue as to why none of the office workers they’d seen had been very interested to talk to them. Several lawyers were waiting at the door to the outside, and tried to talk to the woman they were following, but she ignored them all.

The outside sun...it was blinding, at first. The artificial sun Shuichi had been used to was nothing like the real thing, and he stood there with Maki and Himiko for a few seconds, admiring actually being outside, in the middle of a large city it seemed. “Ahem,” the prosecutor cleared her throat, before nudging her head in the direction of a nearby car. It didn’t look like the kind of thing one usually pictured a government prosecutor driving. It wasn’t new, or sleek, or black. It looked at least ten years old, with fading red paint and of an affordable model. She got into the driver’s side, and they all got into the back. Maki and Shuichi took the window seats, with Himiko in the middle between them. As they drove out onto a busy street, the woman decided to talk to them. “First things first, let’s introduce ourselves. I’m Moriko Masa, and as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, I work for the government.”

Hesitantly, Himiko told her, “I-I’m Himiko Yumeno, and I’m the Ultimate Magician...” She didn’t sound as sure of herself as she had before they’d all found out they couldn’t really trust anything they thought they knew about who they were.

Deciding to go next, Shuichi said, “And I’m Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He was trying to push his paranoia, anxiety, and soul-crushing despair as far down as he could and speak as professionally as he could, though he wasn’t sure how well he was succeeding at that.

“Why do you want us to introduce ourselves? Don’t you already know who we all are? What we all are? What we’ve all done?” Maki’s voice was still chilly, and her eyes didn’t waver from their driver’s reflection in the rearview mirror.

To Shuichi’s surprise, Moriko let out an annoyed groan, getting over to a left lane for an easy turn before telling Maki, “Yes, I know who you are. Still, it’s polite to introduce yourself to people you’re meeting for the first time, even if they already know a lot about you. But if you’d rather lash out at me, go ahead. I can take it.” That answer seemed to earn a modicum of Maki’s respect, even if it didn’t get her an introduction. Turning her attention more to all three of us in general as she waited at a red light, Moriko asked, “So, what do you want to know?”

That was a big question, and for some reason, Shuichi’s friends turned to him to answer it. Still, he didn’t have to think too hard to know what he wanted to ask. “What can you tell us about ‘Danganronpa’?” After all, their only source of information on the topic thus far was the mastermind who’d framed Kaede for murder, along with committing dozens of other terrible acts.

The car started moving again, and they had to wait for an answer as Moriko focused on the road. When once again traffic had slowed their car to a stop, she ruffled her hair with one hand and said, “Ugh, not what I was hoping you’d ask.” That piqued Shuichi’s curiosity, though as he was about to learn, there was not much to sate it at that time. “As disappointing as it might be to hear, I’m not a Danganronpa fan, so there’s not a ton I can tell you.”

Trying to look on the positive side, Shuichi gave her a feeble smile and said, “To be honest, I think we’re all happy to hear you didn’t watch the show.” After all, that would have raised a lot more uncomfortable questions.  _ Did you enjoy watching my friends killing each other? Are you sad to see any of us survived? Did the way we finished things ruin the show for you? _ Instead, Shuichi just said, “Whatever you can tell us will help.”

They were getting onto a highway now, though from what Shuichi could see through his window, he wasn’t sure that would get them wherever they were going any faster. Keeping her eyes on the road, Moriko told them, “Okay, so, it’s this big franchise that’s been around forever. My nephew is into it, I’m pretty sure. I think it started as an anime or something, but at some point they made the transition to ‘immersive reality television’. Personally, I’ve always found the idea of watching teenagers commit murder more horrifying than entertaining, but it gets good ratings.”

Well, Shuichi thought, at the very least it seemed like Tsumugi had been wrong about that. The way she’d talked about it during the trial, it had sounded like the country ran on the killing game, but here was someone who didn’t care for it.  _ Though it doesn’t look like she was doing anything to stop it either. _ While Shuichi ruminated on that, Himiko spoke up to ask, “What’s gonna happen with us?” The question almost blindsided the Ultimate Detective. He hadn’t put too much thought into why exactly this prosecutor had taken them into custody.

This time, Moriko had an answer right away. Or rather, a non-answer. “No clue.” Whether the pause after saying that was intentional, or a side-effect of suddenly needing to pay more attention to the road as she merged from one lane to another, Shuichi didn’t know. “These are uncharted waters. You all know you’re fictional characters, you know you were on a tv show, and you’re out in the world. Oh, and you asserted your rights as human beings on a livestream, that too. The production company for your show is scrambling to figure out what they’re going to do, but right now they’re asserting they should keep you in their custody, as you’re still their intellectual property.”

“ **_We aren’t anyone’s property._ ** ” Even without looking over at Maki, Shuichi knew how intimidating she looked, as she stated what he knew to be the truth. Even if...even if they were fictional, that didn’t mean they ‘belonged’ to anyone.

To Shuichi’s outright shock, Moriko didn’t even flinch at Maki’s words. Instead, her eyes still on the road in front of her, she said, “I agree. While we’ve yet to decide what’s actually going to happen to you, the prosecutor’s office sent me to make sure you didn’t fall into Team Danganronpa’s hands. There’s going to be a lot of tension between us and them, but none of that is your concern. Even if it goes to trial, you won’t have to attend if you don’t want to.”

From the middle seat, Himiko said, her voice thicker with emotion than she probably would have preferred, “Thank you.” Shuichi nodded his head in agreement, and though Maki didn’t move at all, he felt that she was grateful too. “Why are you doing all of this for us?”  _ Good question. Why is the law enforcement, who were only too happy to let the killing games go on year after year, so helpful now? _

Moriko let out a long sigh. “I dunno. It’s my job. It’s the right thing to do. You’re all kids. Pick whichever answer you want.” She was getting them into the far left lane, and soon they were taking an off ramp, out of the highway and back into the city proper.

They drove in silence for a little while, before Maki finally asked her own question. “Where are we going?” Shuichi felt stupid for not thinking to ask that. As always, Maki was the one to handle practical matters.

“Good timing, you can see for yourself.” The car pulled into the lot for a small motel, the kind usually frequented by those without a lot of money...or those who only wanted to use the room for a few hours. Feeling uncomfortable, they all got out of the car, following Moriko. She didn’t go into the office instead climbing up the stairs to the second level, and pulling out three different keycards. She used them, one by one, to open three doors in a row, then handed each key to one of them after having used it. The rooms were far better than the exterior implied. In fact, Shuichi thought, on the inside these places looked like high class hotel rooms. “These will be your homes, until we can get something else figured out. You’re not to leave the motel without authorized accompaniment, you can call the front desk to ask for anything you might want, and I’ll be staying here as well. We’d generally prefer it if you just stayed inside, but you can visit each other's rooms, so long as you don’t loiter outside too long.” She walked up to a fourth room, the farthest from the stairs. “I’m going to be out a lot, but you can always call my room to see if I’m in and ask for my help if you need it. Anything else?” After looking back into their rooms, staring at their personal keycards, and realizing they were really, genuinely free, they shook their heads. Each went into their own room, and Shuichi had barely laid down on the bed before falling asleep on it, fully dressed. The longest day of his life was over, and he was beginning to really hope that whatever came next was worth living for.


	2. Hotel Life

While falling asleep had proved remarkably easy for Shuichi Saihara, one moment awake and the next out like a light, waking up proved more nebulous. Surely, he must have came back to consciousness at some point, but all he could remember afterwards was suddenly standing in his hotel room’s bathroom, brushing his teeth. Once that was done, Shuichi stifled a yawn.

He felt terrible. Looking at a nearby wall clock, it seemed to be 11:21, but he didn’t know if that was in the morning or at night. The room had blackout curtains, so the only way to know for sure would be to check the windows. Even if he did that, Shuichi thought, it wouldn’t really tell him anything about how long he’d slept. He’d gone to bed without knowing the time beyond the sun being up. So, he either probably didn’t get much sleep at all or he’s gotten far too much. With how his body had responded, he couldn’t discount either possibility.

Still, he was awake, so he decided to stay that way. Heading into the hotel’s main room, he noticed that, at some point while he’d been out, several fresh sets of clothes had been set out for him on a table. Next to them was a note, written in an angular script. ‘Meeting in my room at 4. There will be pizza. -MM’ For a second, he had no clue who the note was by, until his mind latched onto the initials. MM, Moriko Masa, the prosecutor from before.

At first, Shuichi was just going to get out of his old clothes and into his new ones, before realizing he probably needed a shower. Once properly naked, Shuichi stood under the near-boiling hot water, hoping it would wake him up. Eventually, he let himself start thinking again, going from savoring the almost painful sensation of the water cascading over his head to resolutely using the hotel-provided necessities to make himself clean. 'Can you really trust this is real?' he found himself wondering. 'After all, you’ve been tricked before.'

But that line of reasoning didn’t hold up to strict scrutiny, it was only supported by his anxiety and his fears. The entire time he’d been in the Ultimate Academy, there had always been something off about it: something besides the homicidal bears, the murders, the trials, that he couldn’t put a name to. Now that he had escaped, he realized exactly what it was. High-budget set or no, there had always been an artificiality to it all, a sense of unrealness that pervaded every moment of Shuichi’s life. As he turned off the water, he looked at the chips in the tiles in the shower, the spots where no amount of cleaning could ever get the tub back to looking new, a small stain on the towel he’d grabbed that looked like it had been used with bleach at some point. This was the real world.

That didn’t make it any more inviting.

Even in the solitude of his hotel room, Shuichi chose to make a little towel skirt to cover himself up as he walked out. The question of whether they’d hidden cameras in his room to invade his privacy once more wasn’t one he’d discounted, but that wasn’t why he was feeling shy. Shuichi Saihara had been written from the beginning to be someone shy with himself, even when there was no one else around.

After taking a minute or so to fold the clothes he’d been wearing before, which he now realized could more properly be referred to as a ‘costume’, Shuichi surveyed what they’d put out for him. Generic white underwear, blue jeans, and a t-shirt that appeared to be referencing some property Shuichi wasn’t familiar with. It would have to do.

That accomplished, Shuichi looked at the clock, and realized he had four hours to use up somehow until the meeting began. He did a quick scan of the room, really looking around for the first time. There was the bed, a minifridge, a kitchenette, and a small desk. Deciding to focus on the last one, Shuichi walked over to it, sad to see there weren’t any books or files or anything to read.

What it did have was a laptop, plugged in and fully charged. Curious, Shuichi booted it up, happy to see that, unlike the last laptop he’d tried to use, this one had an operating system. It loaded everything fairly quickly, and his first assessment was that it looked fairly spartan. There wasn’t as much software installed as one saw on most computers, including new ones, and the only one that really caught his eye was a web browser.

The laptop was already connected to the motel’s wifi, and when faced with a search engine text box, Shuichi’s hands moved on the keyboard almost without him having to think. ‘what is danganronpa’. Results came in quickly, millions of them. On one side of the screen, images loaded up from the newest season, showing all the living and dead members of his class. Shuichi did his best not to look at them, even as the bile rose in his throat. Looking at his options, he finally decided to click on an encyclopedia website, and try to get a better history of the franchise as a whole.

The wiki dive lasted for hours. Shuichi read voraciously, about the strange history of this fictional series that he was a part of. It seemed that Moriko hadn’t been entirely accurate. While there had been quite a few anime-based installments in the franchise, from “Danganronpa 3: End of Hope’s Peak” to “Anniversary Danganronpa 10: Birth of Despair” (Which, according to the Critical Response section on its page, was lambasted by nearly everyone for an overabundance of ‘fanservice’ in all senses of the word.) But in the beginning, the series had started as a relatively unknown visual novel.

Looking through the franchise’s history, Shuichi was surprised to see how many of them, well, never happened. It wasn’t until “Real Danganronpa 22: Despair in High Definition” that they started using the technology that Shuichi had experienced firsthand: the ability to write characters, then override human beings’ memories and skills with those of a fictional creation. It had apparently been a very controversial move at the time, and the production company had almost been dragged to court over it.

That talk stopped when it became one of the most popular series on television. It hadn’t been the first series to use ‘immersive reality television’, not by a longshot. Looking through that page made it clear that Shuichi would need to devote a lot more time to that subject to really understand all its ins and outs. But what he could skim through to quickly understand was that the science behind it had first been used on things like reboots of old sitcoms or bringing cartoon series into real life. Danganronpa had been the first franchise to push the limits as far as they could, both in terms of what kind of fictional characters could be brought into reality, and in what they could do to them without consequences.

Shuichi hadn’t even gotten close to reaching the pages for his own season when there was an agitated knocking on his door. Something about it sounded familiar, and as he got up to answer it, Shuichi caught a glimpse of the time in the corner of the computer screen. ‘4:22’. He was late. It was Maki behind the door, giving him a glare that would have made him fear for his life back before he’d really gotten to know her. “Do you want to die?”

Her catchphrase made Shuichi start to laugh, which only made Maki’s glare even more serious. Shuichi covered it up as best he could, telling her, “Don’t worry, I’m right behind you.” Something else was making him laugh though, as he followed her outside his hotel door and onto the second floor walkway, the afternoon sun in his eyes. It seemed that whoever had gotten them all clothes had gotten them all the **same** clothes. As in, Maki was wearing the exact same outfit as Shuichi, only in sizes that fit her better. Judging by the hints of embarrassment he saw on her face, the Ultimate Detective thought she’d realized the same thing herself.

Together, they entered Moriko’s room, where Himiko had been waiting for them. “Shuichi, did my Sleep spell affect you too?” she asked, something about her dreamlike tone letting Shuichi know she didn’t really want a response. To his surprise, she was in the same clothes she’s been wearing as long as he’d known her. Did she not like the clothes laid out for her? Or had she just not felt like changing?

There were five folding chairs set up in the room for them, and several boxes of pizza on the nearby table. Nearly an entire box had already been finished off, and as it didn’t look like Himiko had a plate, Shuichi had a good idea who the culprit was. Looking around the room, and seeing no adults there, he asked, “Where is Ms. Masa?” After all, this was her room, and her meeting.

In the middle of a yawn, Himiko decided to answer his question. “You’re not the only one who was late. Someone else is supposed to come, and we heard them talking to her over the phone. She told us to get you ready while she rounded up the fifth person.” To which, Shuichi realized, Himiko had probably just continued to sit down while Maki had taken up the task of grabbing him. The silence that was forming felt strangely awkward, but luckily Himiko was ready to break it once again. “What were you doing that kept you so long, Shuichi?”

Putting his hand to the back of his head, Shuichi felt embarrassed about his reason for being late. It wasn’t a good excuse, after all. “After I woke up, I saw there was a laptop in my room. I decided to see what else I could learn about ‘Danganronpa’, and I must have lost time looking at articles.” Shuichi tried not to notice that Himiko’s face paled a shade at his words. As much as it might be hard for them to talk about any of it, hiding from the truth wasn’t going to help them.

Maki nodded her head in Shuichi’s direction, and told him, “I did something similar, actually. Though for me, it was less reading and more-”

It would be a while before Shuichi learned what she’d been about to say, because in that moment Himiko interrupted her, shouting, “I don’t want to hear about it! We’re out of that stupid place with it’s stupid show, and I don’t wanna know anything about it!” Shuichi was willing to let the subject drop, but he feared Maki wouldn’t react to the outburst well. Which was why, when she flinched at Himiko’s rebuke and said nothing back, he was surprised.

There wasn’t really time to focus on that, though. The door to the room suddenly opened, and Moriko walked in, wearing what looked to be the same business clothes as the day before, with someone else trailing at her heel. This new woman, who looked to be in her late twenties at the absolute latest, had a youthful charm to her that made her almost look more like a teenager than an adult, despite the professional attire she had on. Smiling, she took the seat next to Moriko, looking at the teens while Moriko explained, “This is Zatsu Kokaki, and she is here because she’s a youth therapist. My boss’s are apparently of the opinion that someone like her should be present when I have these meetings with you.”

Hearing that explanation, Shuichi wondered if Moriko had built up some kind of reputation at her office that led them to requiring something like that, or if it was just a normal precaution in cases with teenage victims. Ms. Kokaki, still smiling at them, waved a hand and said, “Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet all of you. In addition to coming to meetings like this one, I wanted you all to know that I’m available to talk whenever you need it. Just let MoriMori know, and I’ll be here in a jiffy!” The second the therapist used the nickname ‘MoriMori’, the prosecutor jabbed an elbow into her colleague’s side, though from the complete lack of reaction from her as she continued speaking, Shuichi wasn’t sure if she hadn’t felt the pain or if she was used to things like that from the prosecutor.

“Considering that you were half an hour late and I had to guide you here over the phone, I don’t know if ‘jiffy’ is the best word to promise these kids,” Moriko said, scowling, before focusing on the people this meeting was about once more. “Well, we’re all here now, so let’s get started. First things first, internet. If you didn’t notice, we’ve provided you each with a laptop that has a secure connection to a wifi we control. Do what you want with them, but we have some restrictions. No social media, and no making personal accounts on any websites. We’re tracking your online travels, and we can take away the gift if you don’t listen to us.” From the tone in Moriko’s voice, Shuichi thought she didn’t want it to come to that, but was absolutely willing to enforce that rule if they made her.

Still, he wasn’t quite sure what those restrictions were for, at least until Ms. Kokaki spoke up. “Please don’t worry, this isn’t an issue of trust. Due to your experiences, there are many people who would like to find you, and we’re trying to make sure that doesn’t happen. In addition, I’m not entirely sure if looking at social media, and seeing the opinions of you some fans have developed after how you ended the show, would be beneficial to your mental health.” Wincing, Shuichi realized she had a point with that. He was a morbidly curious person, despite how badly his anxiety could exacerbate mental stresses, so if given the chance he very well might have wanted to look into message boards about the show. Looking at his friends, Shuichi thought that Maki looked indignant about the restriction, while Himiko didn’t seem to understand exactly what these restrictions were.

“Second thing, what happens next. Team Danganronpa and their owners are digging in their heels, so it’s pretty clear this is going to be a fight. That said, the courts have granted us at least temporary custody of you kids, to do with as we see fit.” That sounded like a relief to Shuichi. He didn’t want to think about what the people behind the show might do to them if given the chance. “We’re still working on options for what’s best for you, but we should have news on that front soon. In the meantime, we did want to offer you kids a choice.”

A strange tension immediately filled the bodies of the only survivors of the Ultimate Academy killing game. In their experience, being offered choices hadn’t really worked out great for them thus far. Clearly seeing that rigidity in their body languages, Ms. Kokaki spoke up, her manner somehow becoming even more considerate than it was previously. “Before we tell you what it is, I want to let you know this isn’t something you have to decide right now. You can think it over as long as you want, there’s no rush on our end.” That helped a little, but now Shuichi was definitely curious to know what this was about. He wouldn’t have to wait long. “As you were made aware, all your memories and personality traits were overwritten onto real people who had volunteered. Let’s call them your ‘body donors’. I’m not sure if you know this, but the names you go by were created by the writers of the show. Your body donors went by completely different names than you do. If you want to, we can tell their names, and even a little bit about who they were. But once again, it’s okay if you’d prefer to hear as little about them as possible.”

'The name? The name of the person whose body I’m in?' Shuichi thought. Then he remembered. The person in the audition tapes he’d been shown. The young man, who despite having Shuichi’s face was otherwise a complete stranger, happily talked about how excited he was to be in a season of Danganronpa, and how he not only wanted to be the Ultimate Detective, he wanted to be the first one ever to be the Blackened. That stranger who’d given Shuichi his body had a name, an entire life, that Shuichi knew nothing about.

Did he want to know more about him? Or was it better for him to remain a mystery? Lost in thoughts about someone Shuichi had only ever seen a recording of, the meeting ended soon after that. Unable to go near the laptop again once he was back in his motel room, Shuichi ended up going to bed early, tossing and turning as he did everything he could not to picture the face of the person who had put him through all of this, all by volunteering for a deadly show. That boy had effectively died easily, in a painless second, and left Shuichi Saihara to face terrors he’d never recover from. Hatred for that nameless teenage boy began to foster itself in Shuichi’s heart.


	3. Escaping Despair

In the years that followed Shuichi’s brief stay at the motel, the days after their first meeting with Ms. Kokaki blurred together into a smear. In point of fact, he couldn’t really be sure how long he vegetated, time spent either sleeping or researching on the laptop. Later, after he’d found a therapist who worked well for him, it became clear this was some kind of defense mechanism.

Shuichi, and the rest of his friends, had been through so much, in such a short span of time. The mental trauma never had a chance to really set in, he kept having to worry about staying alive. At the motel, his life was no longer in any danger of ending.

He became...numb.

Barely remembering to eat.

Barely remembering to keep himself alive.

He woke up a day or two or three after that meeting to find a note from Moriko, giving him the phone number for Ms. Kokaki. Looking at the note for the first time, the words just kind of went into his eyes and dissipated in his brain, without leaving any impression. He was dimly aware that talking to a counselor might help him. He never even touched the phone.

Occasionally, he’d pause his voracious reading of online material to think about what Himiko and Maki were up to. The fact they were a short walk away didn’t mean anything to him. They might as well have been as dead as the rest of his classmates.

It wasn’t like Shuichi  _ wanted _ to be alone. In fact, it would be hard to say he  _ wanted _ anything at all. His body almost felt like it moved on its own, which worked well enough for him. His mind couldn’t gather together the motivation or the energy to impose any new goals on it anyway.

After a long day of just placidly absorbing information, just like the days before, Shuichi was about ready to bed and sleep another twelve or so hours when the door to his room shook. He could hear someone trying to open it from the other side, and when it was clear to them that it was locked, they started knocking energetically.

Shuichi looked at the spectacle, confusion breaking through the fog, and he slowly got up and walked over. He didn’t even try looking through the peep hole to check who was there. As Shuichi unlocked the door and opened it, he knew it could be people from Team Danganronpa on the other end. Maybe they’d won the court case, and were taking him away. Maybe they’d found his location, and sent assassins to dispose of their crime’s evidence.

“Thanks for having us over, Shuichi,” came Himiko’s high pitched voice, as her tiny frame squeezed past him to get into his room. Maki was standing outside as well, but didn’t attempt to get by Shuichi like their other friend had. Realizing she was probably waiting on him, Shuichi gestured with one hand, nonverbally inviting her inside, and she did just that. After closing the door and locking it once more, he turned around to see that Himiko was at his desk, looking at the webpage he’d been on before they’d entered. “‘Famous Murders of the 2030’s’? Shuichi, I know you’re the Ultimate Detective, but that’s weeeeeiiiiird.”

Coming from a girl who was still wearing a magician outfit (though it did look like it had at least been washed recently), Shuichi couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed. He was feeling strange though, the sight of the two other survivors sparking some emotions that were fighting to push through his apathy. “...hi?” was all he could think to say, looking from Himiko over to Maki, who had sat on the corner of Shuichi’s bed.

“Where have you been?” Maki’s words had that sharply edged quality to them, but it wasn’t enough to cut through his malaise. “We haven’t seen you in almost a week.” That made Shuichi wake up a little. Had it been that long?

Trying to at least pretend he felt better than he did, Shuichi blinked his eyes and did his best to look normal. The mask wasn’t convincing, but it was something. “So, you’ve been hanging out?” he asked, his voice a little shaky.

Still looking at his laptop screen, Himiko was humming to herself. “Yep. We tried calling your room, but you never answered.” That was news to Shuichi. Had...had the phone rang? Some dim flickers of recognition told him it probably had. He’d just...not cared enough to answer. “We’ve been talking about stuff.”

Feeling a little less out-of-it by the moment, Shuichi almost chuckled. “What stuff?” The second the question left his mouth, he saw Himiko’s back freeze, her muscles going taught. He was still too numb to feel embarrassed for asking, but he could see that Himiko was still having problems talking about what had been done to them.

“I don’t like how much they’re spying on us,” Maki said, cutting past what Himiko had been saying. “I understand the logic behind it, but even if we’re out of the school, we’re still being watched.” That confused Shuichi for a second. Spying? They just said they were monitoring their internet usage. But then he realized Maki wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were locked onto a fake potted plant near Shuichi, and he barely caught the glint of a lens hidden among the plastic foliage.

So, they were under tighter guard than he realized. It didn’t bother him. Considering what could happen to them, how valuable they were, his detective’s insight agreed with the necessity of keeping such valuable witnesses safe. But then Himiko said something that knocked him off of that train of thought. “We should all call Ms. Kokaki.” Shuichi heard the words she wasn’t saying. ‘We need therapy.’ The thought of talking to her, talking to anyone, about all he’d been through, made Shuichi’s vision start to go fuzzy. From the way Maki was glaring daggers at Himiko, she didn’t like the idea either. Turning to face her friends, Himiko exclaimed, “We’re hurting! If I was a Cleric, I’d just use a healing spell on our brains! But I can’t! I’m a mage! So we need to do something to make us better!”

‘Make us better’. Something about those words poked into a raw spot of Shuichi’s brain. They were never going to be ‘better’. They were fictional characters, made to experience as much trauma as possible, for other people’s entertainment.

Shuichi wasn’t really accustomed to getting angry. As he gritted his teeth, he barely managed to choke out the words, “I’m not doing that, Himiko.” He didn’t want to say anything mean to her, he knew she meant well. He knew she had a point. But from where he stood, anything resembling recovery felt a million miles away. Impossible to reach, even with help.

When Maki spoke up, Shuichi was expecting her to be in full anger mode, aura of murder and everything. “I told you before, I’ll...consider it.” Rather than anything like anger, Maki just sounded...tired. Tired in a way that echoed Shuichi’s earlier feelings. Was she feeling just as dead inside as he had been? Was Himiko? He wasn’t sure why he found that so surprising. They’d been through the same hell as him, after all. She turned her attention back to Shuichi, asking, “Did you call about his name?”

The thought hadn’t occurred to him. Whatever dissociative episode he’d been going through, the idea of reaching out about something that felt so inconsequential and so world-alteringly enormous never came to him. Looking between the girls, he shook his head and asked, “Did you?”

“Yeah,” Maki replied, sounding nonplussed. “Apparently, her name was Marika Sakame. All that woman would tell me about her was that she was well liked, and her family was surprised to hear she’d gone on the show.” It was only listening further that Shuichi was able to pick apart her tone a little more. She was  **trying** to sound like none of this bothered her. But Shuichi had been through enough with her to know that she didn’t know how to feel. Neither did he, really.

There was a silence when she finished speaking, and Shuichi almost didn’t think Himiko would talk about what she’d found out. “Her name was Aini Tano...” Before saying that, she’d crunched up into a ball on the room’s computer chair, and swirled around so he couldn’t see her face. “Ms. Kokaki said she got really good grades.” Shuichi couldn’t think of something to say to that that wouldn’t sound patronizing to his friend. “Are you gonna call her too?” There was something hopeful in her voice. She wanted to feel less alone.

Shuichi had never been particularly good at resisting peer pressure, aside from things like class trials, where going with the flow could get them all killed. But the stakes were a lot lower, and two sets of judging eyes were on him. Flushing, he walked over to the phone and dialed in the number on the paper nearby. It only had to ring twice. “Hello?” came the same warm voice he’d heard when he first met Ms. Kokaki.

Not knowing how to start, or what to say, Shuichi stumbled through his greeting. “H-hello Ms. Kokaki, it’s Shuichi. Um, Saihara? From the hotel?” He felt stupid. Were there any other Shuichi’s likely to be calling her? “Anyway, I hope I’m not bothering you.” His eyes went to a nearby clock. It was nearly eight in the evening, probably long past when her day at work was supposed to end.

She laughed, a sound like a wind chime on a comfortable spring afternoon. “Shuichi, there’s no need to be nervous. You can call me anytime, my job is to be here for you. Did you want to set up a session?” she asked, a note of hope in her voice.

“No!” Shuichi said, probably too loudly and forcefully. “No, I, I just...wanted to ask about the, about him, the person who...” Now that Shuichi was on the phone with her, he didn’t know how to refer to this mysterious person he’d only seen on video recording. For some reason, he desperately wanted to avoid using the word ‘body donor’. It sounded, to him, as though it implied this body wasn’t his. Which...he felt like it was.

If she didn’t like how Shuichi had yelled at her over the phone, it didn’t show. “Sure thing! Let me see here, I have the file somewhere...” He could barely hear the sound of papers being shuffled around, before she said, “Aha! Here we go. His name was Hayashi Gima. His schoolwork wasn’t very impressive, but he had a very rich online social life. If you wanted to know more than that, I can ask MoriMori to do some digging.” She talked about him like she was trying to talk up an awkward nephew to a pretty girl.

Having already heard enough, Shuichi just told her, “No, but thank you for your time,” and hung up the phone. He only realized as he set it onto the receiver how pale and clammy his hands were. His body felt strangely light, while his stomach was doing backflips, nausea coming in waves. Unsure what else to do, he relayed what he’d learned to the girls.

Himiko nodded sagely. “That makes sense.” What about this Hayashi person made sense to her, Shuichi didn’t know. It looked like, now that Shuichi had done what they had, she didn’t feel as weighed down by what she’d learned. Or at least, that’s how she acted. He was never entirely sure how much of how Himiko acted reflected her genuine emotional state. Then she yawned and got up from his chair. “Well, see you tomorrow, Shuichi.” With a casual wave, she strolled out of his room, and back towards her own.

Feeling a little silly, Shuichi realized there was something about this whole situation he hadn’t considered. They  _ could _ just walk into each other’s rooms when they wanted to, then go back to their own rooms when they were done. They didn’t have to worry about being killed, or being singled out as acting strangely if a body turned up. That strange paranoia that had only gotten worse and worse as the killing game had continued didn’t need to be there anymore, even if the scars of it still throbbed in pain on occasion.

Maki didn’t look like she was leaving, though. “Don’t hide in here.” It wasn’t a request. “We’re...we are all that’s left. Kaito, Kaede, Gonta, they’re all gone now. We made it out. We can’t...I won’t let you hide away from us.” There was something in her tone that reminded him sharply of what she was capable of. And yet, it didn’t feel like a threat.

There was something selfish, Shuichi had to admit, to just hiding in his room by himself. There were extenuating circumstances, it would have been hard to leave his room before if he’d wanted to. But Maki had needed him. She still needed him. Shuichi was the closest person she had. He wasn’t Kaito, even if he wished to hell and back that the Ultimate Astronaut had made it out instead of him. But they were still friends. He couldn’t just take and take and take from Maki, without giving her anything back. A ghost of a smile crossed Shuichi’s face and he told her truthfully, “I promise that I won’t hide anymore.”

That seemed to be all she wanted, and without another word she got up and left the room. Left to himself and his thoughts, Shuichi finally let himself consider Hayashi Gima. It was good, in a way, to finally have a name for him. The details didn’t mean anything, too scarce and vague. But none of that had answered Shuichi’s real questions.

Who was he? What kind of life could someone lead where they’d be willing, happy even, to erase everything they were and knew, just to be on some show? A show where someone else, in their body, would fight for their very life? It just didn’t make sense to Shuichi.

Was there any risk of Hayashi coming back? It didn’t seem like that was possible. From how everyone from Tsumugi to the internet described the memory technology, there wasn’t a way yet to download people’s minds to overwrite others. All they could do was ‘write’ memories, ‘create a character’, and put that into someone. Shuichi had read some speculation that perhaps the technology to save living people’s minds did exist, and was being kept in secret from the masses, but Shuichi found no evidence to support that. 

But...what if he just came back one day? Replacing Shuichi as Shuichi had replaced Hayashi? There was no evidence that could happen. But this wasn’t a fear that could be fought with logic. It would sit there, deep in Shuichi’s mind, ready to torment him without warning, for the rest of his life. He’d have nightmares of waking up one day, not as himself, but as Hayashi. Gone without a trace.

What...what was Hayashi to Shuichi? How was he supposed to think of him? This had once been his body, before he’d voluntarily given it up so Shuichi could have it. Should Shuichi be grateful? Or should he curse this teenage boy, blame the entire torturous killing school life on him? Should Shuichi learn more about Hayashi, try to make up for the fact he was using what had once been his body? The ethics of it were impossibly tangled. Shuichi didn’t know how to think of this person he knew almost nothing about.

He went to sleep that night not long after, and despite some bear-filled nightmares, he actually got a healthier sleep than he’d had since he’d first arrived at the hotel. The days still passed quickly, but now he was spending more of them with his friends. They watched shows together on his laptop, Himiko tried to show them how to do what she claimed was a simple spell (nothing happened), and Maki let them watch as she played some sort of online game (she was surprisingly good at it, considering she’d only had a few days to pick it up).

Then another meeting was scheduled, and this time they were all there on-time. Shuichi was nervous about what it would be about. The prosecutor looked a lot more run-down than she had before, and dark bags under her eyes spoke to nights spent with little to no sleep. She filled up a paper plate with almost as much pizza as Himiko’s, taking the time to have at least once slice before getting to the point of the gathering. “You kids have another option now, if you don’t want to stay here anymore.” That caught Shuichi’s attention. Wasn’t this the safest place for them? “We talked to all of your parents, and they agreed to take you in.” It felt like the floor had fallen out from under him. From everything he knew...his parents didn’t exist. They never had.

Ms. Kokaki rushed in to add something, throwing a surprisingly heated look at Moriko as she did so. “No,  **not** their parents.” It sounded like she was chiding the prosecutor, who responded by focusing on eating food rather than talking. Sounding more like her usual gentle self, Ms. Kokaki clarified, “What she  _ meant _ to say was that Marika, Aini, and Hayashi’s parents have agreed to take you in, if you want to live with them.” This made more sense, that was for sure.

But the three teenagers looked at each other. The same confused expression was on all their faces. Disbelief, optimism, and fear battled for supremacy. They didn’t know these people. They weren’t their families. They were the families of the people who put them into this mess in the first place. But...there was something pleasant about the idea none of them could deny, either. This hotel was better than they realistically could have hoped for, as they’d exited that dome, but Shuichi felt a yearning inside him that this might sate. A home. People who loved him.

“As before, we don’t need any answers right now,” Ms. Kokaki had assured them. “I know this is a difficult thing to wrap your heads around, and if you don’t want to stay with them, we won’t force you. Not only that, but if you go to live with them, and change your mind later, we can always take you back.”

Having finished the food on her plate, Moriko cleared her throat and spoke up once more. “At the same time, you need to remember these people lost their kids half a year ago. Whether you’re going to stay or going to go, don’t draw it out too long. Kill their hope or see what they’re like, just don’t string them along.” The prosecutor got a talking to from Ms. Kokaki for that, but the meeting ended not long after anyway. None of them talked to the others about what they’d do. They went to their rooms that night, by themselves, and before they fell asleep each had already made up their mind, and let Moriko know what they were going to do.

They’d all chosen to see what a home would be like.


	4. Going Home(?)

From the moment the option became available, Himiko Yumeno was ready to leave the motel. Of the three, she’d been the first to tell the prosecutor lady, shortly after she told her friends. Later, as she rode in the car taking her to her new home, Himiko realized she might have been too blunt. She had a hard time noticing things like that, but she didn’t know why.

The three survivors hadn’t talked a lot after they learned they had somewhere else they could live. One by one, they told their keepers that they wanted to give it a try, and one by one they were taken away.

None of them had to take a plane or anything, since they were all from this city. Himiko didn’t really understand why, but she also didn’t care. She didn’t want to think about that stupid show ever again, and she didn’t know why Maki and Shuichi kept looking into it. They’d left the murder and trials and bears behind, there was no point in looking back at them.

Himiko screwed up her face in annoyance. She was brooding. That was baaaaaaaad. She used to do it all the time, but someone special told her she shouldn’t. It was a hard habit to break though.

Her mind sluggishly tried to grapple onto something worth thinking about, as her glazed over eyes placidly stared out the passenger side window. Hmm...parents! Well, not her parents. The whole thing with the body she was in, and how someone else used to be in it, it was all very confusing for Himiko. But eventually, she’d decided to think of it like a past life. These people were her past life’s parents, but she was definitely someone else.

What kind of people were Aini Tono’s parents? She’d have to wait and see.

Some part of Himiko still missed her mom and dad. Most of her didn’t, though. After all, they might have seemed nice, but they’d been a part of the mage’s conspiracy against her. To prevent Himiko from showing the whole world how amazing her magic was, they’d ensured that everyone would think she was a magician, someone who just did tricks. All to prevent the whole world from knowing the truth of magic.

...but that wasn’t really true, was it? Himiko wasn’t really a mage. She didn’t have parents. That was all...fake. All her memories, of the Magic Castle, of the Archmage, of the Gopher Project, none of them were real. Tsumugi and the other writers had just made it all up.

“We’re here,” said the stern lady. Mo-something? Himiko peeled her face off the window, leaving a drool mark in the process, before opening the door to follow her guide to the right home. They were deep in the city, in one of those neighborhoods for the people who were basically ordinary, but had just a  _ little _ more money than most people did.

It was a normal house. It had a gate around it, only a few feet from the walls of the home, which was two stories tall. But who knew? Maybe right then and there, normal was better than strange.

She just stood there, outside the gate, unsure of what to do, until the prosecutor asked, “Uh, did you want me to introduce you or...can you handle it from here?” Himiko hummed, trying to think of an answer.  _ Could _ she do this on her own? Probably. Should she tell her that, though? Maybe if she waited long enough- “You know what, on second thought, I’m just going to get this done with.” Bingo. With a brisk stride, the woman approached the intercom on the outside of the wall and hit the button on it.

There was a short pause, one Himiko filled by looking around with a blank look on her face, and her minder filled by tapping her foot impatiently. Finally, the intercom crackled and a woman’s voice asked, “Hello?”

“This is Moriko Masa from the Public Prosecutor’s Office. Is this the Tono residence?” They both waited for an answer, but instead of hearing anything from the magic box, the door to the house opened and two women exited out of it. One of them was taller, close to the Mori-lady’s height and a thin build, with long black hair that looked professionally styled. The other was short, almost the same height as Himiko, with dark brown hair cut into a short bob, and a definitively plumper frame.

At first, Himiko didn’t understand who they were. They both looked like adults. Was one of them the mom, and the other a really older sister or something? But as they approached the gate, their eyes locked onto Himiko, she noticed something else: they were wearing matching rings. “Aini, is that you?” the shorter woman asked, her voice shaking from...something. Himiko wasn’t super good at telling what people were feeling.

It took her awhile to answer, the gears were still grinding in her brain. Two women...around the same age...rings...oh! Moms! They must have been Aini’s moms! For some reason, the realization made Himiko blush, and just as inexplicably Tenko’s face popped into her head. Looking at the prosecutor, she didn’t look phased at all, just keeping her eyes on Himiko to see how she was dealing with this. Remembering that one of the women had asked her a question, Himiko put a finger to her lips, and thought about what to say. “Nyeh...no? My name is Himiko Yumeno, and I know maaaaaagic~”

The second she said that, there was some change in the women’s faces, as they listened to her words. They looked at each other, and it looked like they both wanted to cry, but didn’t. The taller lady came up to Himiko, and even though her eyes looked sad, she was smiling. “It’s good to meet you, Himiko. I’m Yuu Tono, and this is my wife, Touko.” There was something rigid in her voice, it reminded Himiko a little of Shuichi when he was trying to sound really serious.

The other woman, Touko apparently, came up to Himiko too, and each woman extended a hand out. “We know you’re not our daughter, but...we’d love to be here for you, if you’ll let us...” It was almost hard to understand what Touko was saying, the tears she was fighting back made her voice thick with emotion.

While Himiko hadn’t expected there to be two moms, this was going better than she’d expected. (Of course, she hadn’t really formed any expectations, but whatever.) They seemed nice, and this looked like an okay house.

And...it felt good. Thinking that maybe this could be a home. Home sounded good. Smiling, Himiko reached out with both hands, taking one of theirs in each of hers. “Okay. It’s nice to meet you.” After a short goodbye with the government person, Himiko followed the women into the house, thinking about which of her spells would be the best to wow them with first.

* * *

“Almost there.”

Maki Harukawa wasn’t looking out the window. She was staring at the roof of the car. This was dumb.

She didn’t even know why she was doing this. Himiko wanting to bail on them, get a family? It made sense. The girl was weird, sure, but she probably remembered having some sort of family. Shuichi was the same way, though when Maki heard he’d decided to go before she had, it had hurt. Which was stupid. He wanted to go back to something like normal, that was okay. He wasn’t ditching her, it wasn’t like they’d never see each other again.

(Maki had to pointedly ignore the voice in her head pointing out that of  _ course _ he wants to get as far away from her as possible. She’s an assassin. A killer. A monster.)

She wasn’t really any of those things. She had all the skills necessary to be one, to do that, to become that, but all those memories were fake.

(No matter how real the memories felt. Regardless of the fact that she still knew exactly how it felt to hold a person’s throat in her hands and crush the life out of it.)

The thing was, Maki hadn’t had family even in her fake life. Growing up in an orphanage, she’d been trained to kill. Her attempt to pretend to be the Ultimate Child Caregiver had been a farce, doomed to failure from the beginning.

So why? Why was she being driven to the edge of the city limits?

Well...what else was there? Once Shuichi and Himiko left, Maki had no clue what she’d do by herself. Moriko seemed fine enough, but it wasn’t like Maki trusted her. Or that therapist. She’d have lived her life in that hotel room, with no direction, waiting for someone to give her an order.

The car started to slow down, then it stopped. Repressing the urge to sigh, Maki got out of the car before Moriko did, and followed her down the road to their destination.

The only time Maki could remember entering a home like this one was to assassinate the owner. That was rare, of course, since most of her targets had been powerful. This house was just...dull. Out in the city’s suburbs, it was three stories tall and had nothing noteworthy about it at all, as far as Maki could see. Unless she counted the colorful hand-painted writing on the side of the mailbox, the kanji reading, ‘Sakame’. It looked like it was done by a young child. Had it been Marika’s work? No, it looked too new. Other kids, then?

Moriko was going to go knock on the door, but Maki stopped her by holding up her palm. “I’ve got it. I’ll call you if I need anything.” They’d each been given the number for a burner phone in the prosecutor’s possession, as well as a prepaid card with money on it, in case of emergencies. Maki didn’t want to meet these people with a faux-guardian by her side. She’d do this by herself.

Something about that decision must have tickled the government employee’s funny bone, because she gave a rare smile to Maki as she turned away. “Hope it works out.” Maki waited until she couldn’t see the car anymore before approaching the front door.

All she had to do was knock on it. That should be simple. She’d knocked on doors before.

Her fist felt too heavy to lift, and she couldn’t hear anything except the beating of her heart. Why was she nervous? She’d survived hell. Meeting some random family wouldn’t kill her.

(But caring about them might.)

Getting angry with herself for making this into a big deal, Maki just did it. The only problem was, her first knocks weren’t loud enough. It didn’t seem like anyone had heard her. Letting out a huff, she knocked again, harder, and this time she got a response.

The door opened, and the person who opened it was another teenager, maybe a few years younger than Maki. He had the same brown hair, the same red eyes, even a similar face. He looked stunned, staring at Maki for a few seconds before turning around and shouting, “It’s Mari, she’s here! It’s really her!!!” He sounded...excited to see her.

Maki didn’t know how it happened, but the next thing she remembered, she was being swarmed. The parents, a tall and broad father with a scruffy face and a lean mother with a sharply featured face, had their arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly as they cried. The boy she’d first seen, apparently named Noboru, was hugging her too, though he was only on the edge of crying, not actually weeping. That was in sharp contrast to a young girl, maybe six or seven years old, named Nonoko, who was clutching onto Maki’s baggy jeans and sobbing.

It took awhile for them to calm down enough to form actual sentences, but the first thing the father said was something Maki would never forget. “Oh, Marika, we’re so happy to have you home. Let’s get you inside, you look like you haven’t had a good meal in months! Those TV people on that show must not have taken care of you.” With the sinking realization that these people didn’t really understand what had happened to their daughter, Maki followed them inside for a cozy, and tearful, family dinner.

It would have been so much better to tell them the hard truth, then and there. It’s what everyone would have expected Maki to do.

But every time she considered it, she thought of how happy they were to see her, and how weirdly...warm and glowy it made her feel. So she’d wait.

Tomorrow, she told herself. She’d tell them tomorrow.

* * *

There wasn’t the need for a car. Apparently, Gima’s family lived four blocks away from the motel.

Still, it wasn’t like they could trust Shuichi would get there fine on his own, so Moriko still operated as his escort. Since it was the middle of the afternoon, the streets were quiet, and it looked like a reasonably safe neighborhood, Shuichi felt it was a touch unneeded, but he didn’t complain. After all, unlikely as it probably was, foul play from Team Danganronpa was always possible.

It was strange, going to live with a family he had no memories of. The parents he knew, well...he didn’t really know them. They were too famous and busy to ever spend much time with him, frequently leaving Shuichi in the care of his aunt and uncle. They’d felt more like real parents, and it had been his uncle who’d fostered his skill for solving mysteries.

Of course, none of them were real. They were his backstory, no different from the mom back home that chef had in the second Danganronpa game.

Knowing that didn’t make them feel less real.  _ Isn’t that a clue? It’s obvious they’re the real truth. Monokuma is still playing you. Implanting memories, television shows, it’s all nonsense. _

_ Nonsense that cost Kibo his life _ .

The doubt wouldn’t go away. It had taken a bit of a break, while Shuichi had felt so dead inside that he could barely even think, but after his friends had gotten his brain back in working order, the questions came with it. He knew it was nonsense, this reality couldn’t be fake. Well, it could actually, but it was incredibly unlikely. He had to trust he’d found the real truth.

They reached the building, an apartment complex over a dozen stories tall. They went inside, having to pass by a broken elevator before they found one that worked. The apartment building didn’t look terrible, at least so far. A bit dirty, and a bit cheap, but his memories of being a detective were filled with tailing people who lived in places that were basically rat’s nests. In comparison, this was nothing to be scared of.

The floor they needed was the seventh, and the exact apartment number was 707. Rather than knocking or ringing the doorbell, Moriko just handed Shuichi a key. “That’s your copy. I was told to let you know that your, uh, Hayashi’s mom is at work, and won’t be back until after nightfall. She told us you should just let yourself in.” She looked Shuichi up and down, as if appraising him. “You good, kid?”

Doing his best to push his fears and worries away, Shuichi gave her one of his patented shaky smiles. “I’ll be fine.” He didn’t know if he’d ever see Moriko again, and he felt the urge to tell her something. After taking a few seconds to find the right words, he came up with, “I hope I have the pleasure of working with you one day,” and reaching out an open hand.

She looked at it, grinned, and shook it. “Still planning on being a detective, huh? Well, you’ll probably need a real life education, but if you want to work with the prosecutor’s office, drop my name. We could use someone with a good head on his shoulders.” With that, she went back to the elevator, leaving Shuichi holding the key and staring at the locked door.

Shuichi had to steel himself with a deep breath first, but he managed to unlock the door and head into the apartment. It was pitch black at first, and he had to fumble around for a lightswitch. As they flickered on, he noticed quite a few things right off the bat.

One, this place had blackout curtains, which was why none of the afternoon sun had come in through the windows. Was this woman a photographer? Someone who wanted to hide? Did she have an ailment that made her weak to sunlight?

Two, this was clearly originally a one bedroom apartment. The entrance area transitioned into a kitchen on the left, which was also the dining room. It looked very cramped. On the opposite wall was the room built into the apartment, but there were other walls as well, made of cheap materials to divide the rest of the apartment into a second bedroom. Then, on the immediate right, was a bathroom. So, this wasn’t someone who had an overabundance of money. Or, if she did, it wasn’t being spent on the home.

Three, aside from the cluttered kitchen with a sink of dirty dishes, the apartment looked clean, and more than a little spartan. The only wall decorations were a few photos. A man and a woman, both of whom resembled Shuichi quite a bit, probably his body’s birth parents. Then, a small boy’s first day of kindergarten, accompanied only by the woman from the first photo, looking older. She was smiling, but something about her looked...tired. The third photo was of her and Hayashi, and it must have been recent. Middle school graduation, maybe? She wasn’t even trying to smile in that one. She looked completely exhausted.

Mrs. Gima was clearly a single mother. Whether that was due to divorce or death, Shuichi didn’t have enough evidence to guess. She worked hard, trying to provide for her and Hayashi. Judging by the room’s decor, she wasn’t a very sentimental or decorative person. Though, Shuichi had to admit that was a fairly shallow reading, and could obviously be far off the mark.

Physically, she had Shuichi’s glossy hair. In the middle photo, she’d tried to grow it out, but it was cut short again by the newest one. Other than that observation, Shuichi just thought she looked...normal. A bit haggard, possibly more wrinkles in her face than was normal for someone her age, but otherwise nothing particularly remarkable.

Scanning the room once more, he spotted a note on the table, and walked over to read it.

‘I’ll be home late, don’t wait up for me. No reason I can’t see you when I wake up tomorrow. Also, don’t feel like you’ve got to clean up or anything, I can take care of that. Hayashi’s room was the one on the right, you can use it. Consider all the stuff in there yours.

-Ran Gima

P.S. There’s frozen food in the freezer, and canned food in the cupboard. Eat what you want, but try to just make enough for yourself.’

Shuichi must have read the short note from beginning to end a dozen times. This Ran woman, he couldn’t get a good understanding of her just from this paper, but for some reason he wanted to. She sounded concerned for him, but also clearly noted that he wasn’t her son. But then again, she was letting him stay in Hayashi’s room, she was taking him in.

Deciding to ignore what she’d said, Shuichi decided a chore would be nice. He cleaned the dishes, letting his mind be occupied with the task. It kept the darker parts of his mind quiet. When he was done, he heated up a frozen dinner, ate it, then washed the silverware he’d used.

It was almost nightfall, and Ran still wasn’t home. Shuichi was a night owl, he could easily wait up for her. But she’d told him not to...but she’d basically admitted she wasn’t his mom...

He made the choice to not make the choice, to just go in the room and see what happened.

As was to be expected from something created from part of a living room, it was a small place to live. It had just enough room for a small bed, a computer desk, and a bookshelf. Shuichi did a cursory look around. The bookshelf had lots of Danganronpa merchandise, but also some mystery novels, including a few Shuichi had never heard of. There was also manga, some television series, it was a bit of a jumble. The more he looked at it, the more Shuichi was sure there was some kind of order to it, he just couldn’t figure it out.

The desk had a full desktop computer, though it didn’t look new. Still, at least Shuichi still had internet access, that was nice. The entire room was covered with dust, though the sheets on the bed had been recently cleaned.

Sitting on the bed quickly led to lying on it, then closing his eyes. Just for a minute.

What was odd, was that for some reason, the room kind of reminded Shuichi of the one he’d lived in with his aunt and uncle. It was smaller, sure, and Hayashi’s taste in media was more than a little different from Shuichi’s. But there was something homey about it all nonetheless.

Without even realizing it, Shuichi peacefully drifted into sleep, never hearing the sound of the apartment’s front door opening as the owner of the apartment finally returned from her long shift at work.

Ran Gima opened her son’s bedroom door, and saw a familiar stranger sleeping there. Shuichi was still in his borrowed clothes, and was on top of the sheets, his head nowhere near a pillow. With a sigh, Ran closed the door, hoping she hadn’t disrupted the boy’s sleep.


	5. Settling In

It had been three days, and Maki still hadn’t done what she promised herself she’d do.

“Morning, Marika!” came the voice of Matsuko Sakame, the matriarch of the family. She’d made enough breakfast for the whole family, as always, and even though Maki wasn’t coming down from her room until nearly noon, there was still something there for her to eat, as Matsuko did the dishes.

The younger kids were both at school, and Takashi, the father of the family, was at work. The warmth and kindness these people showed her had yet to fail in throwing Maki off her game. She couldn’t bring herself to bring up her usual cold stoicness, faltering as she replied, “T-thank you for the food.” She tried not to look at the woman as she took the plate and brought it up to her room.

(No! Not my room! It’s Marika’s room!)

Even that short interaction with a member of the family had unsettled Maki’s mood. Once back inside the room she’d been sleeping in, Maki started eating the (delicious) food and turned her mind to the situation she was in.

The logical thing to do, the thing she should have done from the first time she met the Sakame’s, was to explain to them the truth. Tell them they daughter is dead, and that Maki is just someone else using her body.

But even thinking of doing that was hard. These people...Maki had never met anyone like them. Even Gonta, the big softy that he was, harbored darkness in his heart. These people, these nice, foolish, smiling people thought she was still the person they knew. Maki knew that if she explained the truth to them, actually made them understand it, she could break them. Maki had broken too many people already.

Were they already starting to suspect something was wrong, though? She never called them by familial names, in fact she avoided naming them at all in conversation. Every day so far had been spent in this small bedroom, with idol singer posters on the wall, plush animals on the bed, and a diary written in cute handwriting talking about the mundanities of normal life. It was obvious that she had been popular, her diary attested to as much, and already there were apparently several calls for Marika from friends, which Maki refused to take.

There was no way Maki could actually pretend to be that person, for them or the girl’s family. It was simply impossible. That just...wasn’t who she was.

Maki’s thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door, followed by Matsuko’s voice. “Marika, dear? Can I come in?”

Something about someone coming into a space that she was already starting to claim as hers made Maki want to tell her no, but instead she replied, “Uh, yeah, the door’s open.” It was an inane thing to say. The girl’s door didn’t even have a lock.

The door opened, and Matsuko came in, looking at Maki with love in her eyes. Seeing that called to something in Maki, some hole where familial love should have grown, but a broken childhood had left vacant. What made it harder was how much of herself she saw in these people’s features. Matsuko had the same eyes as Maki, color and all, though of course hers had so much more life in them. “I wanted to talk, if that’s alright,” Matsuko said, an unspoken apology for even asking that in her tone.

(This makes it easier. She’s the one coming to me.)

“I’d like that,” Maki told her. She was sitting on the bed, which still had pastel-colored sheets, and gestured to a plain wooden chair, which the woman sat in without complaint.

They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity, neither seeming to know who should speak. Strangely enough, it was Matsuko who gathered up the courage first. “I know you’ve been through a lot, sweetie, but we’re starting to get worried. You barely talk to us, you never leave your room, and you won’t even talk to your friends.” The mother reached out with one hand, and Maki hesitantly reached out and took it. “We’re always here to talk to you if you need us. You know that.”

“But I don’t,” Maki said, the words spilling out in a rush. “I don’t know that. I’m not...what do you think they did to me? On the show? What do you know?” It was easier to make her understand if she knew where they had gotten it wrong.

Looking confused, Matsuko squeezed Maki’s hand, clearly trying to give her a mother’s comfort. “Well, dear, we know you signed up to be on it, and that it wasn’t very safe. We were told something about them doing something to you, about making you an Ultimate something or other? You know we’ve never really cared for that show, I’ve heard it’s not appropriate. I never...we were just so happy to hear you were coming home, Marika.” Tears were starting to well up in her eyes, and Maki felt like she could  _ feel _ the pain this family had gone through in Marika’s absence.

So, they didn’t really understand what had gone on. Perhaps it hadn’t been explained to them correctly, or maybe they just had refused to understand it. Either way, Maki had to set them straight. “It was more than a little unsafe. Of the sixteen students who started the 53rd season of Danganronpa, only me and two of my friends lived.” Matsuko’s free hand went to her mouth in shock, tears starting to fall down her face. But Maki kept talking. “But the bigger point is: I’m...I’m not really your daughter.”

It was hard to get the words out, but Matsuko didn’t react to them like Maki had expected. Instead of pulling her hand away, she just clutched on harder. “What are you talking about? Of course you’re my daughter!” The poor woman sounded half-hysterical.

Far from the first or last time in her life, Maki cursed Team Danganronpa. She had the memories and experiences of an assassin, but seeing Matsuko go through this...it was enough to break even Maki’s heart. Using those artifical talents to dampen her emotions, Maki continued her explanation, trying to speak in a measured voice. “Just before the show started, Team Danganronpa overwrote Marika Sakame’s memories, personality, and skills with that of a fictional character they’d created. In the process, everything that made Marika who she is was lost.” In the process of trying to tamp down her own harsh feelings, by this point Maki realized she was sounding cold, uncaring.

Perhaps that would make it easier for them to swallow. Let them see the monster in their daughter’s body. “I am that fictional character. My name is Maki Harukawa, and I am the Ultimate Assassin. The memories I was created with were of a life raised in a hellish orphanage, forced to become a hired killer to stay alive.” It finally happened. Matsuko pulled her hand away from Maki’s, recoiling as though she’d stuck the appendage in boiling water.

The confusion was there, now. She looked skeptical about what Maki was saying, but there was fear there too, fear that this was all true. “B-but you’re Marika!” she said, sounding as though she was pleading with Maki for this to be true. “You’re my daughter! You must just be confused!”

Those words hurt more than anything else. Some part of Maki wanted to lash out, to strike back, to make this woman pay for saying that. But Maki knew that wouldn’t help anyone, least of all herself. It would just bring more pain. So, looking at her sweatpant-clad legs, she did her best to sound calm, bowing her head in apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t...if there was some way to bring Marika back, for you to have her instead of me...but there isn’t. I’m here now. She isn’t. If you and your husband don’t want me here, I understand that, and accept it.” Maki wasn’t a person who apologized often, but she meant every word. The world didn’t need her in it. She didn’t belong.

Something she said must have really affected Matsuko. Looking at Maki differently now, though exactly how Maki couldn’t really tell, Matsuko made an effort to slow her crying, and pulled out a handkerchief to dry her eyes. “Your father and I will discuss this, but please...don’t say things like that. I would never throw you out, and I don’t...I am glad you are here, Maki.” Then, she got up, kissed Maki’s forehead, and left the room.

(Was that good? Was it bad? Why do I feel...happy?)

* * *

“Hey, kid,” were the first words Shuichi heard from Hayashi’s mother each day. He’d wake up in the early afternoon, after spending his night staying up on the internet, and emerge from the small room to see her, looking tired, making enough lunch for the two of them. Her job, which he still didn’t know anything about, required late hours, so their sleep schedules were near identical.

That didn’t mean he’d come to understand her. Ran wasn’t hostile. She wasn’t angry. She didn’t dote on him.

What she did do was make sure he didn’t go hungry, and say at least those two words to him every day. She never asked about Danganronpa, she never asked what he did all day, and she never volunteered anything about herself.

Strangely enough, there was a sort of comfortable atmosphere when they were together. Whether it was for a few minutes or just over an hour, the silence between them wasn’t tense. Shuichi actually found it refreshing. It gave him the feeling of being around another person, without making him have to be social.

He could still feel a wall between them, though. A wall named ‘Hayashi’.

Strangely enough, Shuichi hadn’t set out to learn anything else about the teenage boy. He’d gotten a surface reading of him from the room, but he didn’t want more than that. What Shuichi had seen on the tape was all he needed to know. It wasn’t common for Shuichi to become offended, but hearing Hayashi say that he wanted to be the Ultimate Detective who used his skills for murder made Shuichi hate him.

So far, he’d mostly spent his time getting the room to his liking. He didn’t throw out anything of Hayashi’s, but he had packed a few boxes with the things he didn’t want to look at anymore. Danganronpa merchandise was the biggest thing, and there was a lot of it to put away.

If Shuichi had been in the mood to analyze Hayashi a little more, the abundance of Nagito figurines would have been something to think about.

In a way, Shuichi also took the time to do what he did to the room on the computer. Creating a folder simply named “Hayashi’s”, he filled it with everything he could find that didn’t come installed in the PC.

Once he felt like the computer was his, Shuichi returned to his research. He continued to look into everything he could find about the world that differed from the one in his fake memories. He tried to independently study. He looked into his options for higher education, what he’d need to do to become a private detective.

Sometimes, when the mood struck him, he’d take a manga or a mystery novel from the bookshelf and take a break.

It was hard getting used to this life, but he was finding it suited him.

Still, he did wish he could bring himself to talk to Ran.

* * *

“Ta-da~” Himiko exclaimed as the doves emerged from what was once a simple glass of water. Of course, this was Himiko, so the exclamation did come a bit more bored and tired-sounding than most magicians would have delivered it.

But her audience didn’t care. “That was wonderful, Himiko!” Short Mom said, clapping her hands energetically as she gaped at the result of the trick. They were in the family living room, and after both moms had come home from work, they wanted another magic show from Himiko.

Tall Mom was also applauding, though she did so with more composure and restraint. Still, there was pride in her eyes as she looked at Himiko. “Excellent, dear.” Then Tall Mom paused, putting a finger to her chin as she considered something. “You know, if you wanted to perform professionally, I could pull some strings to make it happen.”

Himiko gasped. It had been a long time since she’d performed for anyone but her new moms. Sure, there had been that whole thing at the school, but that performance had been...interrupted. Short Mom must have seen Himiko looking sad and misunderstood, because she rushed in to say, “If you don’t want to do that, we won’t pressure you!” A quick pointed glance at her wife seemed to be to make sure she didn’t contradict that promise.

Waving her hands in front of her, Himiko took a step closer to her moms, who were sitting side by side on the living room couch. “No, no, no, I’d love that! I was just thinking about...” her voice trailed off, and she knew she didn’t have to say what she was thinking about. Her moms had learned that she didn’t like talking about what had happened at the Ultimate Academy.

“Why don’t I get started on dinner?” Short Mom asked, clearly changing the subject for Himiko’s benefit. She went to do just that, leaving Himiko with Tall Mom as Short Mom got to work, singing a silly song to herself as she started preparing the food. “Oh, we are having riiiice, we are having riiiiice, we are having riiiiice, ~mixed with a yummy egg~!” Short Mom was always singing to herself around the house, and Himiko really liked that. Sometimes, she was even able to catch the tune and hum along with her, which seemed to make her really happy.

Himiko took Short Mom’s place on the couch, leaning against Tall Mom just as the adult reached an arm around Himiko’s shoulder, her other hand reaching for the remote. “Was there anything you wanted to watch, Himiko?” Tall Mom wasn’t as physically affectionate, but she still noticed that Himiko liked the contact, and did what she could to make Himiko happy. It was weird though, because it always felt like...she wasn’t expecting it.

Shrugging, Himiko just told her, “Nyeh,” which the moms had quickly learned to be Himiko’s typical noncommittal statement. Tall Mom picked out an educational program, something sciencey, so Himiko just zoned out and returned to the world in her head.

It had only taken one day with the pair for Himiko to start thinking of them as her moms. It had been easy. From the first time they met, the two seemed to love Himiko. They loved her magic, they never told her she didn’t have any powers, and they were always thinking of her. Short Mom texted her all the time while she worked as an accountant, and Tall Mom was apparently telling all the kids in her elementary school class about Himiko, without revealing where she came from.

It was perfect.

Kinda.

There was one eensy, teensy, tiny snag.

The longer Himiko stayed with them, the longer she started to think about Aini Tono. The thought of someone being Himiko before Himiko was Himiko was still confusing, but living with the Tono’s made it more obvious. They’d taken the time to clean the house of all Aini’s things, letting Himiko shop for her own things in her room. They never talked about her. They never seemed to miss her. They seemed to just love Himiko like she was their daughter.

That day, after a delicious dinner, Himiko went to the bathroom to take a shower. She didn’t like them, but Tall Mom reminded her it was important to take care of her hygiene. Nyeh. Still Himiko went to do it, but when she went to the bathroom, she noticed something: a crumpled up thing behind the trash can.

Reaching down to grab it, Himiko uncrumpled it and saw it was a picture. A picture of Tall Mom, Short Mom...and Aini. It must have been recent, neither of them looked different then they did when Himiko met the moms, and her body looked the same.

It looked like they were at one of those places people go to take formal family pictures, with a weird cloudy blue wall behind them. Tall Mom’s face was all scrunched up, even though it looked like she was trying to smile. Was she stressed? Or scared? Short Mom wasn’t even trying to smile. It was crazy for Himiko to see. Short Mom was always so warm and soft and amazing and nice, but in the picture, she was mad!

But the person who drew Himiko’s attention the most was Aini. It really hit her then, how that person really wasn’t Himiko at all. Himiko had never looked so...mean? The girl in the photo looked annoyed at the photographer, and her parents, and...the world. Like she was too good for them.

“Are you okay in there, Himiko? Did you need some help getting the shower running?” Tall Mom’s voice called out from the other side of the door, offering help.

It made Himiko jump, and she quickly crumpled up the photo again and hid it in her button-up shirt’s pocket. “No, I’m good!” she said back, before getting the water going. It sounded like Tall Mom had gone, but now Himiko was left to undress, while her stomach hurt.

It felt like she was sick, like she’d eaten something really heavy. What was going on with Aini? Who had she been? How...how was Himiko going to find out?


	6. Standing Out

Staring at his phone for half an hour was a pretty boring way to spend the afternoon. But Shuichi was mentally deadlocked. After a week in his new living situation, he was finally starting to recover, starting to really make steps towards feeling better. Which was why he was able to realize that talking to a therapist was probably a good idea. But not all of him thought so.

_What can she do for you? You're not real. You were created for other people’s entertainment. Talking to her won’t help, it’ll just make her pity you._

Shuichi didn’t know if the fact that the dark, sneering voice in his head had finally accepted that this was the real world was a good thing. After all, it only seemed to do so because it let it hurt him worse.

But hearing it spit acid at him galvanized his resolve. Shuichi had survived so much to be there, alive. Kaito...Kaito would have wanted Shuichi to help himself.

It was hard to even think his name.

When he did, the names of other friends came without warning.

Tenko.

Gonta.

K-Kaede...

“Hello?”

Blinking, Shuichi realized he’d already dialed the phone number, and quickly raised the phone to his ear and blurted out, “Ms. Kokaki! This is Shuichi Saihara!” He winced, his voice had been too loud. Ran had probably heard it. Did she know who Ms. Kokaki was?

The therapist paused for a moment before replying, and when she did her voice sounded melodically cheerful. “Shuichi, it’s lovely to hear from you! Was there anything you wanted some help with?” Unlike last time, she wasn’t offering therapy directly. Did she think he’d react badly if she did?

If so, he had to admit she had a point. “Yes, um, actually...” Shuichi searched for the right words, before just deciding to try and be casual about it. “You mentioned therapy before, and I was wondering if that would still be okay with you?” He asked about it like he was imposing on her by even making her listen to his voice.

There was a brief sound like the rustling of papers, and then Ms. Kokaki spoke up once more, clearly excited. “Of course! I’m absolutely here for you in any way I can be. So! Did you want to do a session right now?” That was what Shuichi had in mind, but it just occurred to him that she might be busy. Still, he made a weak ‘uh huh’ kind of sound, which she understood as an affirmation. “Wonderful! Now tell me, how have things been at your new residence?”

It took a few seconds for Shuichi to think of what to say in response. “Good?” The rising intonation definitely marked it as a question. “I’m settling in.” The addition was a little more firm, but still a bit lacking in content.

If Ms. Kokaki didn’t like that, she didn’t say so. “I’m glad to hear that, it’s important when moving into a new space to find a way to make it feel like home.” Shuichi agreed with that, thinking of what he’d done to the room he was in. “Now, do you mind if we discuss Hayashi at all?”

“No, I don’t really mind,” Shuichi said, though there was a strange energy in his voice that hadn’t been there before. “But I don’t really care about him.”

“Would you like to elaborate?” she asked.

'No, I wouldn’t _.'_ But Shuichi swallowed that reply, and forced himself to choke out something else. “I feel like I know enough about him already.” He knew it would just invite more questions.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, he was a Danganronpa fan,” Shuichi answered, having a harder time hiding the anger and cynicism creeping into his voice. “He thought it would be fun to be on the show. It sounded like he was excited at the chance that I might be a killer. Then he ended, and I started. Stuck into the role he’d wanted for me.” The more Shuichi talked, the more numb he started to feel, in his brain. These were feelings he’d never spoken aloud.

“You have every right to be angry with him,” Ms. Kokaki said back, and Shuichi was surprised to hear she sounded upset. “I’m guessing you saw footage of him, at the end of the show?”

“Well,” Shuichi said, now feeling embarrassed for having brought it up, starting to backpedal, “Yes, but-”

“But nothing,” the therapist said, her tone firm. “Shuichi, you’ve been through more trauma in your life than nearly any adult on the planet. You’re living in the room of the person who made you go through it all. It’s more than okay to be angry. And it’s important to be honest with yourself about those feelings. Pretending you’re okay when you aren’t doesn’t help anyone.”

Even though he knew she couldn’t see him, Shuichi found himself nodding his head. It was more of a polite gesture than anything else. They were...nice words. But they were also just words. Whether he could actually make them stick in his head, whether they’d ever really mean anything to him, he didn’t know. “I appreciate that,” he finally said aloud, feeling it was the right thing to tell her.

Realizing that he wanted to change topics, Ms. Kokaki asked, “How about Hayashi’s mother? Has she been treating you well?”

Feeling bad for even having to think before saying anything, Shuichi replied, “Yes, yes she’s been amazing.” That was an overstatement, and he didn’t think the trained therapist missed that.

“Really? What do you two do together?”

“Um,” Shuichi stammered, searching his brain for something to say. “Well, we...talk? Sometimes?”

“Talking is good,” Ms. Kokaki said, some humor coming into her tone. “But it sounds like you wish you knew her better.” There wasn’t anything he could say to that, she was absolutely right. “Before we have another session, I want you to try and really have a conversation with her, okay? I know you can do that.” The weird thing was, she sounded so sure of herself, Shuichi actually felt like he believed her.

The session lasted a little over an hour, and even then he felt bad near the end for taking up so much of her time. When he said something to that effect, she made clear he had nothing to apologize for. They agreed to talk again in a few days, and that was that.

Starting to feel hungry, Shuichi left his room to make dinner, only to see that Ran was already there heating up some leftover ramen. “Want some?” she asked, without turning to look at him.

“Yes, please.” For just a second, Shuichi could have sworn he heard a snort of laughter from her, but when Ran turned around her face didn’t look anything but tired. They ate the food together in silence, until Shuichi felt he had to say something, since he’d promised Ms. Kokaki he’d try. “I hope I wasn’t too loud on the phone...”

She looked at him, and Shuichi couldn’t decipher what she was feeling at all. His detective abilities were useless. “You were on the phone?” she eventually replied.

“Y-yeah,” Shuichi said, happy at least to have not bothered her. “I was given the number of a therapist, and I decided...”

The sentence was left hanging, unfinished. If that bothered Ran, she didn’t show it. All she did was nod her head. “That’s good.”

Apparently, that was what she had to say on the matter.

Not wanting the burgeoning talk to end there, Shuichi tried to think of something to say, no matter how mundane. “What is it you do for a living?” is what he ended up blurting out.

Ran blinked, clearly not having expected that question. She cursed under her breath before saying, “I forgot that you didn’t know...I’m a nurse, at a nearby hospital.”

That was...something. It was something. Now, Shuichi knew what she did, where she worked.

The question she threw back at him came out of nowhere. “Did he...I heard you saw a tape, something Hayashi recorded before he died.” Shuichi knew what she meant, and nodded his head, feeling strangely light headed all of a sudden. “Did he say anything about me?” There was something...raw, in her voice. Vulnerable. Pleading.

Never in a million years would Shuichi have expected it to make him so angry. “No.” Shuichi said, his voice hard and flat. “He didn’t. All I heard him say was that he wanted me to be the first Ultimate Detective to kill someone.”

For just a second, Shuichi saw tears in Ran’s eyes, and then she was gone. Before he could apologize, before he could think of anything to say, she was up from the table, taking her bowl to the sink and grabbing her purse. “I’ll be late for work.” Her voice sounded remarkably similar to Shuichi’s own. Just as dead. Just as uncaring. Shuichi watched her leave and hated himself more with every step she took.

* * *

After finding that photo in the bathroom, Himiko was determined to discover everything she could about Aini.

That was easier said than done.

Whenever she was left alone in the house, Himiko would sacrifice half her napping time to search the house.

Well, anything in the house that wasn’t too tall for her to reach.

After three days of that, and the weekend fast approaching, the lack of results were making Himiko want to give up. She missed getting eight hours of napping, instead of four.

There was still another option though: ask one of the moms!

Normally, if Himiko needed anything, she went to Short Mom. But she remembered that look on Short Mom’s face in the photo, and decided that wasn’t a good idea.

So, one day, after Tall Mom got home first, Himiko rushed up to her, asking, “Mom, I’ve got a question!”

She looked surprised to hear Himiko say that. “Go ahead, Himiko, I’m happy to answer it for you, if I can.” Tall Mom was smiling when she talked, which she didn’t do often. It made Himiko really believe that she was a teacher.

Taking a big breath, Himiko just spat out her questions. “What was Aini like?! Why don’t you and Momma talk about her?”

The reaction Tall Mom had was immediate. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, a hand clutching her chest as if she was scared. “A-Aini?” Tall Mom almost sounded scared, saying that name.

Nodding her head, Himiko refused to relent. “Yeah! She was your daughter before I was, but you never talk about her. I don’t get it, nyeh.” Her energy was starting to wind down, as it was want to do after an outburst.

After taking a few deep breaths, Tall Mom told her, “Himiko...I understand why you’re curious. But please, understand that we...” She stopped talking, frowning as it looked to Himiko like she wasn’t sure what words to use. “...right now, we don’t want to talk about her.” Now Himiko was the one frowning, this wasn’t what she’d wanted at all. But then Tall Mom leaned down and kissed her forehead, and that was nice. “I promise we can tell you more about her later, but not now. And please...don’t mention her in front of your Momma.”

There was something rough and heavy in Tall Mom’s voice, something that reminded Himiko of the harder parts of what she’d been through recently. Nodding her head, she told Tall Mom, “Okay...”

Then Tall Mom was hugging her tightly, like she was afraid Himiko was going somewhere. “Himiko...you’re such a good daughter. We love you so much. Thank you for coming to live with us...” She wasn’t crying, but she wasn’t far from it either.

Trying not to start bawling herself, Himiko hugged her back. “I love you too, Mom.” Never before had that name felt so right coming from her mouth.

* * *

Days later, Maki still didn’t know how successful her talk with Matsuko had been. When they were alone, she had started calling her by her real name, which was something. But it was obvious she hadn’t told anyone else in the family, either.

(Of course she hadn’t. She’s looking out for them. Protecting them from me.)

Or, Maki considered, Matsuko was just a coward.

Either way, the atmosphere in the home was starting to get suffocating. The family’s father and kids were starting to get more and more tense about how Maki was acting. It was making her want to be colder, want to stand out more. It was her worst impulse, really. When other people got scared of her, she wanted to act scarier.

It had been a week since she’d come to live there, and already it felt like a mistake.

After Takashi got home from work that afternoon, he and Matsuko got dressed in what Maki guessed was their ‘going out’ clothes. “Well, kids, Mom and I are going shopping!” Takashi told them after calling them all to the front of the house. Looking hesitantly at Maki, he explained to the younger kids, “I know it’s been a while since Marika was here, but she’s still in charge while we’re gone.” Noboru pouted at that, it seemed he’d been the responsible big sibling after Marika left.

( **Died**. Marika didn’t just leave, she’s dead. Now, they have me instead.)

Maki must have been glowering, because Takashi looked intimidated, and Matsuko mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before they left.

Looking down at the two kids she was supposed to be taking care of, Maki noticed that Noboru wasn’t meeting her eyes. “What did you two want to do?” Maki asked, trying her best not to sound hostile.

At the very least, young Nonoko didn’t seem to mind Maki. “Let’s watch cartoons!!” The level to which she sounded excited for such a thing was so strange to Maki. Had she ever been that excited, about anything?

(No, of course I haven’t. There was never anything to be excited about.)

That was a lie, though. Kaito had made her excited. Even if she never showed it.

“Mari, are you ‘kay?” Nonoko asked, clearly concerned, and Maki realized she’d just been standing there, in her own head again. Who was she becoming, Shuichi?

Putting on a smile that she knew wouldn’t look real, Maki told her, “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go sit down in the living room.” To Maki’s utter confusion, the young girl squealed with excitement.

Running into the living room, she was shouting, “Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!”

Maki’s confusion cleared up a little when Noboru spoke up, his eyes on the floor, “We’re not supposed to watch cartoons on weekdays. You never let us do that before.” Something in his words made Maki feel like she was challenging him.

Deciding to ignore it, Maki walked to follow Nonoko, only saying back, “Well, I just did.” After turning on the television, Maki handed the remote to Nonoko, letting her pick out what to have on. The little girl flipped through the channels before finding a magical girl show clearly made for kids her age, with bright colors and no moral complexity.

In a weird way, Maki envied the characters in that show. They got to be written into an easy, simple life. Black and white. Good and evil.

(I was written into hell.)

She didn’t think about her status as a fictional character very often. It wasn’t like there was anything Maki could do about it, after all.

While Nonoko sat too close to the TV, Noboru sat next to Maki on the couch, looking over at his little sister. “My friend at school said you’re not really Marika.”

Maki didn’t know what to say to that.

“He said...Marika’s dead. All the kids who go on that show die. Then they put someone fake in their bodies, like a manga character or something.” It was strange. The young teenager didn’t sound angry. If anything, Maki just heard confusion.

After a moment of thought, Maki decided to be honest with him. “Your friend is right, mostly. My name is Maki Harukawa.” The words hung in the air, their weight oppressive.

Noboru licked his lips, and Maki felt sure the kid was nervous now. “He also said...you kill people.”

The words that Maki hadn’t said since coming to this home rang loud in her mind.

( **Do you want to die?** )

For some reason, now it was Maki who felt awkward. “I remember killing people.” Out of the corner of her eye, Maki saw Noboru stiffen, but she kept looking at the colorful cartoon as she talked. “I remember being raised in an orphanage. I remember being trained in how to be an assassin. I remember working. But none of those memories are real. They’re just backstory, made up for the show. I never...I haven’t actually killed anyone.”

A hostage. A crossbow. A deadly poison.

(Not for lack of trying.)

The teen was silent, for a while. Unable to take it anymore, Maki looked at him.

Noboru was crying, quietly. No sobs, no wails, just tears running down his face.

(Why. **Why?!** What sick writer made me into an assassin who still cares about people?!)

Looking at that sight, Maki made a silent promise to herself. If she ever met the person who wrote her backstory, who made her into this, they wouldn’t survive the encounter.

That was a possible future, however. Then was then. Her present. Her responsibility.

Those parents had left her in charge. That meant something to Maki. Feeling unsure of herself, Maki lifted an arm and put it around the boy’s neck, pulling him closer to her for a half-hug. Now she could **feel** him crying. “W-what are you doing?” he whispered through the tears. Just feet away, Nonoko was still unaware of all of this. “You’re not my s-s-sister...”

It would have been wonderful if those words didn’t stab into Maki’s heart like a well-placed dagger through the ribs. “I’m not,” Maki admitted. “But I’m here. Marika isn’t.” It wasn’t a pleasant truth, but Maki thought he was old enough to handle it. “Tell me about her. I don’t...know much.” She’d read a diary, and there was the girly room decor.

But that wasn’t the same as hearing from someone firsthand. “S-s-she was really nice.” He was still crying, so Maki leaned against him a little, hoping that would help. “Mari had a lot of friends, and, and, and she always helped us when we asked.” (Sounds like a pushover.) “The only thing she’d, the only time she’d tell us no is when it went against what Mom and Dad told her.” The tears were starting to slow down now, as he talked more about the sister he’d never see again.

“Was there anything you didn’t like about her?” Maki didn’t know why she asked that. Was there any good response he could give her?

Strangely enough, the kid went for it. It took him a bit to think of what to say, but by then he’d completely dried his eyes. “Um, well, I don’t think she was very happy...” **That** did not track with anything Maki knew of her, and she looked down to raise an eyebrow at Noboru. “Really!” he insisted, clearly eager to be believed. “Sometimes, I’d hear her crying in her room. But when I’d ask her about it later, she’d pretend it never happened.”

(What does that mean? What could this perfect girl with her perfect family and her perfect life have been sad about?)

The credits were rolling on the show Nonoko had picked out, so Maki got up and snatched the remote from her hands. “Hey!” the little girl cried, indignant.

As if something like that could sway Maki Harukawa. “You watched your show, now your brother gets to pick.” Her tone brooked no arguments. She handed the device over to Noboru, who looked at it, confused. “Pick something or I’m putting on something educational,” Maki threatened, and the teenager quickly found some anime he apparently liked.

They watched in silence as Nonoko disappeared for a few minutes, coming back with crayons and a coloring book. “Thanks,” Noboru said, out of nowhere. “You...don’t have to do this, you know?” He sounded older than before. Maybe realizing you were really the oldest sibling after all did that to you, Maki wondered.

It was on commercial, so Maki grabbed the kid’s head and made him make eye contact with her. “As long as I’m living here, it’s my job to keep you safe. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not going to sugarcoat things for you.” She didn’t ask anything of him in return. (Why would I? There isn’t anything he can do for me anyway.)

Then, the damn kid smiled, and he whispered, “You’re a pretty cool big sis, Maki.”

That strange feeling she’d had when she talked to Matsuko came back, only so much stronger.

After Noboru’s anime ended, Maki made them a simple dinner then put on a kid’s movie. By the time it ended, it was getting late, but their parents hadn’t come back yet. Nonoko was getting drowsy, and Maki carried her to the little girl’s bedroom, putting her in bed and tucking her in. No bedtime story was needed, Nonoko was snoring before Maki had finished moving the blanket.

“What did you want to do now?” Noboru asked after she left the girl’s room.

Maki narrowed her eyes. “What **you’re** going to do is go to bed.”

The teen frowned. “But I’m not tired.”

“ **Do you want to die?** ” The words didn’t have the desired effect. Noboru laughed at them. That...Maki didn’t know what to do. “If you go to bed, I’ll help you play a violent video game behind your parents’ back,” Maki said, trying to think quickly.

“Deal.”

Maki made sure he followed through with this part, then headed back to the living room just in time to see Matsuko and Takashi coming through the front door. “Kids in bed?” the man asked, taking off his coat to hang on a nearby hook.

Nodding her head seriously, Maki told them, “Yes. I’m going to bed too.” Takashi accepted that and headed off to the parent’s bedroom, leaving Maki alone with Matsuko. “Noboru knows.”

The woman gasped. “He does?! Did...how did he?” Maki gave a brief rundown of how the night went, cutting out the parts about them watching any cartoons. When it was finished, Matsuko looked a lot more relaxed. “That was sweet of you, Maki.” Then, she gave Maki a tight hug, one that lingered longer than Maki would have expected. “Go do what you said you’d do, you need your rest.”

Feeling weirdly floaty, Maki didn’t argue, heading to Marika’s room to settle in for the night.

Why did these people make her feel this way? Happy and sad and anxious and comfortable, all at the same time.

As Maki drifted off to sleep, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, this whole thing could work out.


	7. Friendly Support

Himiko wasn’t dumb.

Her friends would never say she was to her face, but she knew they thought she was. A lot of people did.

They tried to hide it, but she knew Shuichi and Maki weren’t doing good. It had been obvious at the hotel, but even when they’d call each other on the phone, Himiko was pretty sure she knew what was happening.

Shuichi didn’t like himself very much. It didn’t really matter what he did, or what happened, he’d always find a way to think it was all his fault. Himiko had told him while they were at the hotel that he did really good, that the only reason they were free was because of his detectiving, but he had just done that dumb thing were he smiled with really sad eyes.

Maki didn’t like herself either, but it was different. She didn’t blame herself for all the things that happened, that was good. But Maki hated her talent. Himiko had thought maybe learning that she’d never killed anyone, that all her assassinations never happened, would help, but it didn’t. When she looked in the mirror, Maki saw someone that Himiko didn’t, and Himiko didn’t know what to do about that.

But Himiko? She was fine.

Really, she was doing really good. She had two moms who loved her, she didn’t hate herself, and she was a teenager with thirteen dead friends.

Himiko was fine.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay, Himiko?” Short Mom asked her for the fifth time. They were getting closer to their destination, a diner not too far from their house.

Maybe someone else would have been bothered by Short Mom’s tendency to double and triple and quadruple check that they were okay, but Himiko actually found it reassuring. It...kind of reminded her of Tenko. “I’ll be fine, nyeh.”

While they waited at a red light, Short Mom reached over and ruffled Himiko’s hair, something she didn’t get to do usually. Himiko had wanted to wear her hat, but the prosecutor lady told her not to, so Himiko wore some less magical clothes that her moms had picked out for her, with no hat. “You know, you could invite your friends to come over sometime,” Short Mom told her. She’d taken a half day at work just so she could drop Himiko off and pick her up for this afternoon appointment.

Having Shuichi and Maki over...”I’ll try to remember to ask,” Himiko promised. It actually sounded kind of nice.

Then they were at the diner, and Himiko saw Shuichi and Maki waiting for her. Which was why it was a little embarrassing when Short Mom got out of the car too, giving Himiko a long hug and a forehead kiss. After one last promise to message her the second the meeting was done, Himiko watched Short Mom reluctantly drive away.

At first, Himiko looked at the ground as she shuffled over to see her friends. It wasn’t that Short Mom was embarrassing, it’s just that stuff like that drained her mana. But when she did look up, she realized how much she’d missed the only other two survivors of the Killing Game. After a second’s hesitation, Himiko remembered what Tenko said about expressing her feelings, so she came closer and hugged the other two teenagers.

They both stiffened, though weirdly enough it was Maki who relaxed first and hugged her back. “It’s good to see you,” was all she said, but from Maki that meant a lot.

“Yeah,” Shuichi said, still a little off-balance from the physical affection. “I missed you too.” After Himiko pulled back, she was able to get a better look at what her friends were wearing. Like her, they weren’t wearing the stuff they had on the show, but then again they’d both changed out of those clothes when they got to the hotel, nyeh. For Shuichi, that meant a hoodie with a suit jacket over it, and blue jeans. He looked silly. “So, Himiko, was that your...”

His voice trailed off, and Himiko guessed that he was trying to think of a good way to refer to Aini. None of them really liked that word the government lady had used, ‘body donor’. “She’s one of my moms, nyeh,” Himiko explained, trying not to blush. “They’re both...really nice. I wanna stay with them forever.” She didn’t mention Aini, because talking about her made Himiko sad.

To most people, Maki’s expression would probably look like nothing, or something mean. But Himiko had gotten to know her well enough to tell she was smiling, even if it only really showed in her eyes. “That’s really good, Himiko. I’m glad your moms are treating you well.” There was definitely something different about Maki, and it wasn’t just her clothes. Himiko wondered if they were from Marika, because otherwise she didn’t know why Maki would have them. A cute t-shirt with a fluffy bunny on it and a cardigan in baby blue...not very Maki. If Himiko used them for summoning magic, they’d probably call up a teenage succubus, nyeh.

Shuichi opened his mouth, but it took him a few seconds to say something. “Maki...um...”

It looked like Shuichi was still walking on eggshells around Maki. Himiko thought that was silly. Maki was their friend, and they could talk to her like normal. “Is your family nice, Maki?” Himiko asked, thinking that was probably what Shuichi was going for.

Maki winced, and her eyes looked weird. Why was she happy and unhappy at the same time? That shouldn’t be possible. “ **Marika** ’s family is...really normal. But it looks like no one really told them what happened to her. They still thought I was her.  **Think** I am her.” That was strange, Himiko thought. Why hadn’t Maki just corrected them? “What about you, Shuichi?”

Himiko had been curious about that too, but from how clammy and sweaty Shuichi looked after hearing the question, she felt like maybe they shouldn’t have asked. “I’m...” It looked like Shuichi was trying to find the right words again, like he didn’t know how to say what he was feeling. Which didn’t make sense to Himiko, once she’d decided to start saying what she felt, it was pretty easy, nyeh.

“Hey there kids, sorry we’re late.” They all turned to look, Shuichi’s issue forgotten, to see the prosecutor lady and the therapist lady were walking down the sidewalk towards them. Like always, the government person looked like a grown-up Maki, and the other woman was really smile-y.

Following her lead, they all went inside the restaurant and went to a booth that fit the five of them, adults on one side, teenagers on the other. They didn’t talk about what they were meeting for until after food (Himiko got french toast with lots of syrup and a ginger tea), and it looked like Shuichi and Maki were pretty antsy to hear what they had to say. Himiko didn’t know what this was about, so she didn’t really care yet.

“We have news about the court case!” the therapist lady said first. “It’s all over, they dropped the case and you’re scot free now!” That sounded good to Himiko.

The prosecutor lady pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, kind of like Tall Mom did when she was upset. “Zatsu, that’s not it.” Looking mostly at Shuichi, she clarified, “They didn’t drop the case, they settled it. They’ve given up any claim on you kids, and they’re paying you a pretty hefty sum for what you’ve been through.”

Himiko didn’t really understand how that was any different from what the therapist lady had said, but apparently Shuichi knew what they were talking about. “That’s strange though...why did they give up so quickly? It’s only been a month, and even for Japan the courts wouldn’t be ready to hear the case for a while.” Only really half paying attention now, Himiko started playing with sugar packets.

“There was a lot of pressure to get this over with,” she explained. “On one side, other production companies for immersive reality tv shows didn’t want the courts looking at the technology they use any closer than they had to, and a settlement doesn’t have any standing in case something like this happens again. On the other side...was the public.”

This time, it was Maki who said something. “You mean all of the  **‘fans’** of the show?” She was doing that thing where her voice was really scary, but that stopped working on Himiko a while ago.

It didn’t seem to do anything to the prosecutor lady either. “Ex-fans, actually. That stunt you pulled turned a lot of people off from Danganronpa, and while there are still fans out there who are pissed at you for ruining the season, you three have kind of become a symbol for everyone who wasn’t okay with it in the first place. There was enough public pressure to make sure things were resolved quickly.” Himiko actually kind of liked the sound of that. After all that had happened...it was good that some of the people watching tried to understand them.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, while we’re on the subject,” Shuichi said, and the way he said it made Himiko pay attention. It was like when he was in a class trial, and all the nervousness and hesitancy that normally slowed Shuichi down were gone. “Can you tell us why the government didn’t move against Team Danganronpa until  _ after _ we escaped ourselves?”

Even Himiko could tell that Shuichi was mad. She had to think though, because it was a good question. She’d tried not to think about the show since they’d left, but it still seemed impossible to her. Why were they allowed to kill people on TV?

It wasn’t the prosecutor lady to say something first, but the other adult at the table. “They... **we** wanted to. A lot of us did. But...”

“I’ll handle this, Zatsu,” the prosecutor cut in, taking over. It looked like she was taking Shuichi’s question really seriously. “It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the highlights. Back when immersive reality television first started, there was a big outcry, and the prosecutor’s office debated whether they should push against it. But in the end, they decided that since the people went into it voluntarily, it could be legal.

“Danganronpa didn’t enter that scene until a while later, and when they did people were furious. That first season was the most controversial show ever aired on television, and thousands of people boycotted the show, and others were calling for it to be shut down by us.” Okay, Himiko thought, so why didn’t they? If they had... “Our hands were tied. Team Danganronpa had spent years setting the stage for that move, working with other lobbying groups to set up the laws that would keep them from being prosecuted. Lowering the age needed for actors in immersive reality television, weakening of regulatory bodies, and a law that made immersive characters the intellectual property of their companies. They’d made it so that arguing they were breaking the law was near-impossible.”

For the first time in a while, Himiko felt the need to speak up. “So...you guys didn’t even try?”

“I was a kid!” she snapped back, but something about how she said it...Himiko thought that she felt guilty anyway. “Some people in the office at the time still wanted to try, but they were blocked by their higher-ups. I’ve asked around, and it seems pretty clear that Team Danganronpa made ‘donations’ to the right people.” The prosecutor bit her lip, and now she couldn’t look at any of them. “The initial backlash was a double-edged sword. The show went from reviled to top ratings in just a few seasons. Any press is good press, you know?” Then, she got up from the table. “Fuck it, I need a smoke.”

She stalked off, and the other lady took over talking to them. “So, I bet you’re all wondering what this news means for you!” The therapist was trying to sound cheery, but Himiko could tell it was forced. It didn’t even take a Detect True Emotions spell. “The long and short of it is that you’re all free, emancipated minors!” After reaching into her jacket, she handed some folders to each of them. “Those are everything you need! Government ID, proof of citizenship, all the boring paperwork that proves you’re a real Japanese citizen. Shuichi Saihara, Maki Harukawa, and Himiko Yumeno are completely officially real people now.”

“Are the show people still after us?” Himiko asked, as she put the folder on her lap. She didn’t really know what else to do with it.

With a more real smile this time, the lady told Himiko, “No, I highly doubt it. We’re keeping some minor surveillance on you, just in case, but as far as we can tell there’s nothing to worry about. You kids can say who you really are on the internet, you can go to school under your real names, you’re all free as a bird!” A server came over with a check, a sign it was time to leave. “I’ll take care of this, you can all go do whatever you feel like doing. And remember! I’m always just a phone call away.”

They walked out of the restaurant, and looking at her friends, it seemed to Himiko like they were kind of dazed. She didn’t see what the big deal was, really, but it still felt too quiet, so she said something. “I don’t wanna go to school, nyeh. I’ll ask my moms if I can just do it from home...” Himiko didn’t say it, but she also didn’t care about that online thing really. Social media had never really been something she understood.

Something about that must have been funny, because Shuichi actually laughed. “I was thinking of doing something similar, actually.”

“...” Maki didn’t say anything, but Himiko knew that she’d tell her what she was doing later. Maybe she didn’t even know, yet?

After Himiko messaged Short Mom, she pulled up in her car in less than a minute. Had she been parked just around the corner, nyeh? But seeing her reminded Himiko of something, so before she left, she looked at her friends seriously. “We need to talk more. I don’t want to only see you when government people make us go to a diner.” Shuichi nodded at that, and Maki smiled with her eyes, if not her lips. “Oh, and Momma wanted me to invite you over, so you can probably just come by anytime, nyeh.”

That message delivered, Himiko went into the car and told her Short Mom something vaguely similar to what had happened. She seemed really happy about the stuff in the envelope, but then again she had a really boring job, so maybe she just liked boring stuff.

Even if she didn’t really understand what all of that was about, Himiko at least was happy that it sounded like it was really over now.

She cursed herself for thinking that immediately after. Now, she’d jinxed it.


	8. Truth and Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (CONTENT WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HOMOPHOBIA, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND BULLYING/EMOTIONAL ABUSE.)
> 
> I really hope that covers the content for the chapter, but if it doesn't please let me know and I'll update it.

After Tall Mom got home from work, Himiko went up to them and told them to sit down, because she had something Very Important to talk to them about. Short Mom happily went into the living room and sat on the couch, looking at Himiko standing in front of them without any sign she knew why this family meeting had been called. Tall Mom, on the other hand, looked nervous.

“Today,” Himiko started, bringing out the file she got from the government ladies, “they gave me identification papers and things like that, now that I’m officially real.” Himiko didn’t really understand why she needed papers that said that, but it had seemed important.

As she had expected, Tall Mom’s eyes lit up, and she reached out a hand to see them. Himiko handed them over, and watched as her usually more stoic parent excitedly looked through the papers. “Himiko...with this, you could start school again! Not where I teach, obviously, but I have several colleagues who teach high school, and I am sure they would be happy to tell me-”

Something dark twisted in Himiko’s stomach, and it must have shown on her face. Tall Mom stopping what she was saying mid-sentence, and they were both clearly worried about her.

Taking a deep breath, Himiko decided to just rip off the bandaid and get it over with. Like Tenko told her, she had to express her feelings. “I don’t want to go to school!” The words made Tall Mom go pale, but Himiko just kept talking. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you! I just want to stay home, I don’t want to go to school again! Because...” Himiko’s breath hitched unexpectedly in her throat, but she pushed past it as tears started to appear in her eyes. “...because it makes me think of  **_there_ ** !”

Himiko didn’t have to clarify where she was talking about. They all knew.

“...” The two adults looked at each other, and Himiko felt like she’d crossed some weird line she hadn’t even realized existed. She didn’t like talking about that place, or letting her moms know how much it scared her. How she still had nightmares of the laughing bear mascot, of finding Shuichi or Maki dead, of being executed herself in one of the school’s Punishments.

Deciding to take the lead, Short Mom asked Himiko, “We understand, sweetheart. Do you think...your mom and I can discuss this, just the two of us? We just want to be on the same page.” That made sense to Himiko, and she was ready to head back to her room when Short Mom blocked her way, looking like she might cry. “Himiko, do you want a hug?”

The teenage girl didn’t even have to think of her reply. “Yes please, Momma.” One mother wrapped her soft arms around Himiko, and then the other joined her. Himiko tried to enjoy the affection, to let herself ride on a way of love, but it didn’t do much to help with the undercurrent of bad feelings that what she said had kicked up.

The hug ended, and Himiko went to her room. Normally, she’d just nap until her moms were done talking...but she had some weird energetic feeling moving inside her, and it didn’t feel good. It was like her stomach wouldn’t settle down, or she’d cast Animate Object on her organs.

Napping wouldn’t work...and then Himiko’s eyes drifted towards the laptop sitting on the desk. Himiko had used it before, Aini taped the password to login next to the keyboard. Computers weren’t something Himiko had a big interest in, then or when she’d been staying at the hotel. But she had to do something, and that was the only thing her mind would latch onto.

After logging into the computer, and being greeted once again by Aini’s stupid wallpaper, which didn’t even have any mages or spells, Himiko brought up the internet browser, and started trying to think about what to do.

Ideally, she still wanted to try and find out more about Aini. But she’d looked on the laptop before, and there was nothing there.

The talk with Tall Mom about Aini hadn’t led to anything yet, despite the fact she had promised to discuss it with Short Mom later. Himiko wondered if maybe they were talking about that in the living room, but she doubted it. For whatever reason, it seemed like Tall Mom didn’t want to bring up the issue.

But then, Himiko had an idea. The therapist lady had said they could go on social media, and while Himiko didn’t really care about having one for herself, she realized that Aini probably had an account somewhere, and she could look at that.

First though, Himiko had to find out what site to look at. She searched for the most popular Japanese social media places, made a boring dummy account on the top result, and searched it for ‘Aini Tono’. There was a profile that looked like it belonged to her, but she didn’t use it much. She had almost no friends, and only one picture, for her profile.

That didn’t stop Himiko, though. She tried again, and again, and again, hoping each time she’d find out anything. Finally, on the fourth try, she found what she was looking for on a website that was mostly used by teenagers. Aini had a more robust profile there, quite a few friends...and there were a lot of comments on her profile too. Each one had a little thing so people could give it pluses for being good or minuses for being bad.

Himiko wasn’t ready for what she saw.

>Kyoniki Miya - Hey bitch, so you’re on the new season of Danganronpa. Good! I hope you get killed and burn in hell after what you did to my brother. Did you know he actually was sad to hear you got in? Manipulative cunt.

+126/-3

>Iya Mizukaze - They could make you the serial killer for this season and it would be an improvement on who you are now.

+109/-3

>Asahiro Minariya - aini tono outed me to my entire school and did everything she could to make sure i dropped out. i told her i almost killed myself and she said it sucked that i couldnt even do that right

+99/-3

>>Iya Mizukaze - Asahiro, that is so awful, you didn’t deserve any of that. But it’s just the kind of person Aini was. I’m not gay, but she still acted like I was throughout all of middle school, and she told a teacher I raped her.

+95/-3

>>> Asahiro Minariya - i am so so so so sorry :(

+99/-3

>>>>Iya Mizukaze - Oh honey, you don’t have to be sorry. It sounds like you got it from her way worse than I did. DM me, we should meet up sometime.

+95/-3

>>Bakashiro Aosu - Oh, are we doing this? Let’s do this. My boyfriend cried in front of her once, and she would NOT stop calling him gay, and told everyone I was his beard. We broke up because of her.

+89/-3

>>>Iya Mizukaze - I wonder how many relationships ended because of her pulling stuff like that?

+92/-3

>>Shimura Sasahara - I am sorry to see how many other lives she ruined. Aini and her friends are easily the worst people I have ever met, even if they never did anything directly to me. I’ve heard a lot of secondhand stories. I don’t wish being on that godawful show on anyone, but Aini makes me reconsider. Maybe Danganronpa would work if we just sent everyone like her onto it.

+82/-3

>>>Iya Mizukaze - You’re not a Dangranronpa fan? Eh, I know it’s not for everyone. Glad we both agree that if anyone deserves to be on there, it’s Aini

+95/-3

They didn’t stop. On and on and on, even just on that one thread. So many people, all of them glad that Aini Tono had gone onto Danganronpa. At least it meant she was out of their lives. And every comment about how terrible she was had three dissenters.

No one even wondered what it would be like for Himiko Yumeno.

Aini...she was clearly a bad person. Himiko knew why her moms didn’t talk about her now. But...Aini hadn’t been the one in the Killing Game. Himiko was.

The last comment she read was buried under negative replies and downvotes. One with only two people trying to push it up.

>Toko Hinoyara - You’re all a bunch of fricking liars. You’re all sick. Aini’s probably gonna die on that show, and you’re happy. As one of her closest friends, I know for a FACT that most of these comments are just baloney. A bunch of attention seekers trying to make themselves feel good by tearing down someone wonderful.

+2/-125

If that was supposed to make anyone feel like Aini was being vilified, it didn’t work, especially not for Himiko. She didn’t have to think too hard to realize she must have been one of Aini’s friends, another bully.

The weirdest thing was, Himiko wasn’t crying. She was sad. She felt...unclean. But she wasn’t crying.

“Himiko?” The voice was muffled through the door, but she could tell it was Short Mom. In a sudden panic, Himiko quickly closed the webpage, shut the laptop, and bolted over into the bed.

She could only hope Short Mom wouldn’t notice how she was huffing and puffing from sprinting those couple of feet. “C-come on in, Momma,” Himiko struggled to say.

The door opened, and both her moms came into her room. Neither looked at the computer, so Himiko could at least be happy they wouldn’t know about  that . But instead, they were looking at her, and Short Mom looked like she was ready to cry. “Sweetheart, are you okay? Did the school thing make you that upset?”

At first, Himiko didn’t know what they were talking about, but then it hit her: she was probably red in the face, breathing heavily, eyes unfocused. They must have thought she’d been sobbing or had some kind of attack. “I’m fine...” Himiko muttered, feeling bad for making her moms feel bad.

Tall Mom sat next to her in bed, and reached out a hand to rub Himiko’s back. It felt nice. It helped her forget what she’d just seen. “Himiko...your mother and I talked about it, and we think it would be okay for you to try doing homeschool. There are many different programs for that online, and we trust you to do it even if we’re at work.”

That did make Himiko happy. Especially since she knew it meant a lot, coming from Tall Mom. She was always talking about how important education is, and how students needed to be together to properly grow. “Thank you.” If she felt like she could, Himiko would have hugged her mom, but instead she had to settle for just leaning into her.

“That said,” Tall Mom added, already taking the time to set the boundaries. “We will be keeping an eye on how you’re doing, and if we see any issues, we’ll get you a tutor.” That didn’t sound too bad to Himiko. “It’s also become...very clear that giving you space hasn’t really helped after what you went through. So you have to start seeing a therapist.”

“Nyeh,” Himiko replied, but there was no heart in it. Shuichi was seeing a therapist, and while Himiko didn’t really feel like she needed one, she wouldn’t fight her moms on that.

They knew her well enough by then to realize her ‘Nyeh’ was, in this case, her accepting what they’d told her. “Did you want to come out to the living room or do you need more time in here?” Short Mom asked, her voice as gentle as possible.

Usually, Himiko loved being with her moms. But for some reason, that weird bad antsy feeling came back, and she knew she had to tell her, “...I think I want to be in here some more.” Her parents accepted that, each of them kissed her forehead, and then they left her as she’d wanted.

Himiko didn’t open the laptop again.

Himiko didn’t understand why she felt this way.

It was like she was...unclean, somehow.

Reading about what Aini had done, it made Himiko feel guilty, even if she wasn’t Aini.

And...Himiko felt like she had to try and make up for the things Aini had done.

* * *

“Hey Nonoko?” Maki asked the little girl.

Her older brother was staying at a friend’s house, and the family’s mother and father were busy. Which meant it was Maki’s job to watch her.

It wasn’t as bad as Maki expected. Nonoko was playing with her magical girl dolls, and she seemed happy to just have her ‘big sister’ watch. There were a lot more explosions and marriages between them than Maki would have guessed. “Mmm?” Nonoko asked, still focused on her toys.

After everything that had happened in the diner meeting, Maki had decided to finish what she’d started, one member of this stupid, weirdly happy family at a time. “My name isn’t Marika. It’s Maki.”

That got the kid’s attention. She looked over at Maki and stared. “Mommy and Daddy said you’re Marika.” Oh, Maki realized, this would be a debate. With a six-year old. At least she had experience in that department.

(No I don’t, I just think I do.)

“Your mom and dad are wrong. My name is actually Maki Harukawa.” Maki couldn’t help but sound tired saying it. How many more time would she have to-

“Okay!” Nonoko chirped, grinning. “Maki, can you read me a bedtime story?”

A quick look at a cutesy wall clock made Maki realize it was later than she thought. “Sure thing.” Nonoko didn’t seem to mind that Maki was stoic as she helped the little girl change into her pajamas, tucked her into bed, and read her a bedtime story.

Well, actually the last one wasn’t true. It seemed she didn’t like Maki’s monotonous way of reading. “Do voices!” the girl commanded.

There was definitely an impulse to just walk out of the room at that, but Maki didn’t follow it. Instead, she...actually tried doing voices. Maki knew she wasn’t doing a good job, but judging by the fact Nonoko was giggling now whenever the monster bad guy said something, it had worked. In no time at all, she’d fallen asleep, and Maki was able to return the book to its spot, turn off the light, and leave the room.

(There’s that feeling again...)

Maki knew what it was, she’d probably always known. She just hadn’t wanted to admit it. But just because she knew that being with these people made her...happy...that didn’t mean she felt like she could accept it, not yet. It was still tainted by the lie.

Before heading to bed herself, Maki went to the kitchen to grab something to eat, a last snack, but Maki hadn’t missed the fact that she wasn’t alone. (A good assassin can check a room for targets in an instant.) There was no reason to stop what she was doing, though, it was only Takashi sitting at the table, partially hidden in the poor lighting, eating some ice cream.

“Marika,” he said, and Maki didn’t pretend to be surprised to hear him, and didn’t turn around. “How are you...” His voice trailed off, unsure how to finish the question.

There were a million lies Maki could tell him, and a million terrible truths as well. But she wasn’t Kokichi. She’d be honest, she’d be blunt, and she’d be serious. (That’s how they wrote me to be, after all.)

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” she told him, picking out an apple from the fridge as a suitable fruit. As she closed the fridge’s door, she told him, “Nonoko’s dead asleep.”

The man didn’t know the irony of the statement, and Maki wasn’t going to explain it to him. It had felt good, how easily Nonoko accepted what she was told, but she didn’t think Takashi would be the same way, and Maki wasn’t ready for that fight. “Sit down,” he offered, and Maki took it. The father looked at her apple, confused. “You didn’t want any ice cream? It’s your favorite, strawberry.”

(It’s not my favorite. It’s Marika’s favorite. I don’t even like ice cream. It’s a waste of calories, and it’s too sweet.)

Was that true, though? Or was it just what she’d been made to think? Maki couldn’t tell. She wasn’t sure if it was possible to know. “I’m fine with this.”

He nodded his head, before seeming to think of something. “Watching your weight, got it.” ( **Do you want to die?** ) Maki didn’t say it out loud. “I was thinking...I know that Danfanponga was tough, kiddo, but you should probably start going to school again. Wouldn’t want you to miss college, right?”

“...” Maki didn’t know why, but hearing him mispronounce the show’s name...it got a rare smile out of her. As for his proposal, Maki took a bite of the apple and thought about it. “Okay.” Why not? (Because I’m a monster. Because I’m a killer. Because I’m not real.) Maybe those things were true, but Maki was starting to feel like going to school might be a good idea anyway. Living with this family had brought out parts of her she’d forgotten existed. Maybe more normality would do the same. “I’ll take care of it, okay?” she told him, throwing away the apple’s core once she was done with it.

As she started to head to her room, Takashi called out one last thing to her. “Marika.” With a huff, she turned to look at him over one shoulder. “You haven’t called me ‘Dad’ in a while. I hope you don’t feel too old for that.” Maki nodded, an acknowledgement not an agreement, and left the man sitting there in the dark, missing his dead daughter.

* * *

“Come on, kid. We’re going out.” Still a bit bleary from not getting enough sleep, those were the first words Shuichi heard from Ran after stumbling out of his room.

It took him a few seconds to understand what she meant, looking at Ran as she grabbed her purse and keys. Once the words were able to properly sink in, he looked down at himself and noted he was still in the same clothes he’d worn the day before, when he’d gone to the meating with Ms. Masa. “Can...I change first?” Shuichi said, sounding as exhausted as he felt.

Ran just nodded her head at that, telling him, “Sure thing, I’ll be here.”

It didn’t take long for Shuichi to change, he didn’t actually have that many sets of clothes just yet. He emerged out of the room wearing a long-sleeved black button-up shirt and matching slacks, feeling just a bit more awake than he had before.

They went down to Ran’s car, a reliable old thing that was made around the same year Shuichi thought he’d been born, and she took off without letting him know where they were going.

The thing was, Shuichi didn’t ask. He still felt bad about what he’d said a few days prior.  _ Another event you can replay over and over in your head to make you feel even  _ **_worse_ ** _ about yourself! _ He also...hadn’t told his therapist about the voice, the critical one who always knew the worst thing to say. Whose voice wasn’t his own, but someone too familiar by half.

It was probably just anxiety. Or stress. Or the lack of sleep.  _ Or all three! _

He hated how gleeful it sounded as it tortured him.

“...you can get out of the car now?” Ran’s voice knocked him out of the dissociative state he’d been in. The car was parked in front of a Chinese restaurant. Not going to complain,  _ or to complain ever _ , Shuichi followed her inside, where the server seemed to recognize them both, and showed them to a corner booth. Before she left, Ran told her, “I’ll take the pork fried rice and he’ll have the gyoza and an oolong tea.”

Those sounded great, but Shuichi was confused. “How did you know I’d want that?” he asked.

Looking out the window, Ran replied, “They may have taken out my son’s mind, but you’re still using his taste buds.” That...was something Shuichi had never thought about before. Finally turning to study him a little, she added, “Don’t worry, I just got paid, it’s my treat.”

Money was the least of Shuichi’s worries. “Actually, if you don’t mind, I’ll pay for us.” Frankly the amount he’d been given in the settlement was more than he knew what to do with.  _ Don’t forget: it’s blood money you got for outliving all your friends!! _

His answer just seemed to irritate her. “You can buy us dinner another time, I’m paying right now.” Ran let out a puff of irritated air, and moved a loose bang behind her ear. “It’s an apology.”

At first, Shuichi wasn’t sure if he’d heard her correctly. “An apology?” Even saying those words felt wrong. “But...I’m the one who should be apologizing to you! Ran, you had every right to be upset after what I said to you.” Hell, he was lucky she hadn’t thrown him out of the house.

For a second, Ran reminded Shuichi a lot of Ms. Masa. She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes as she struggled to find a way to reply to what Shuichi had just said. “No, that’s not how this works. You’re not my son, but you are living in my house. I’m taking care of you. You’re a minor, and I’m an adult. That means I need to act like it.” When she moved her hand away, Ran was giving Shuichi an exhausted smile. “It’s been overdue, kid. We need to talk.”

“About what?” It wasn’t that Shuichi didn’t want to talk about her. He just...didn’t know what to start talking about, exactly.

Ran pointed a finger at him. “How about  _ you _ tell  _ me _ what’s been on your mind? I know you’re doing therapy, and that’s great, but honestly...” She ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t know the first thing about what’s going on in that head of yours. Nobody does but you, until you tell them.”

_ What would be the point? You wanna tell her about how it’s all your fault Kaede died? Or how you stay up all night wondering why you survived when no one else did? Maybe let her know that when you thought you were going to die in the final trial, you were actually kind of happy about it? Ooh! Oooooh! You should just  _ **_lie_ ** _ to her, and tell her you’re fine! Of course, you’ve never been a good liar, but it might shut her up. _

“I don’t know if I’m ever going to recover from the Killing Game.”

“That’s...understandable. I don’t know if  _ anyone _ can really recover from that.” Ran’s voice was sober, but Shuichi could see in her eyes it hurt her to hear him say that.

_ Aww, widdle Shuichi is sad bec- _ “When the game first started, I made a friend. She took charge of us all so quickly, and did everything she could to get us out of there alive.” Somehow, he managed to smile even as he talked about Kaede. “She was such a threat, Team Danganronpa framed her for the first murder. I wasn’t able to figure that out until the end, though, and because of that, she was executed.

“At first, I didn’t know how I was going to keep going without her. But she believed in me, and I made a new friend, someone who knew how to push me into doing what I wanted to avoid.”  _ Wah, wah, my girlfriend and boyfriend are dead! I’m so sad! Pity me, fake mom, I want validation! _ “There was also...” Shuichi’s voice struggled to get the next words out. “...I don’t know if he ever really thought of me as a friend. He was always lying, and a plan of his killed someone else. But...he also helped me. We might not have found the truth without him. I’m...honestly sad that he’s dead.”

_ Oh Shuichi, I didn’t know you cared! _

He wasn’t done there. Shuichi told Ran about them all. Rantaro, and how little they got to know him before he was killed. Kirumi, and how much she had cared for them all. Ryoma, and how hard he tried to find a reason to keep living. Korekiyo, and how the strange twisted affection he’d developed for his victims was also the reason he killed them. Angie, and how she’d tried to stop the killings. Tenko, and how hard she fought to protect men despite claiming to hate them. Gonta, and how the most gentle person Shuichi had ever known had killed to save them all from a disaster that never existed. Miu, and how the abrasive girl had always helped when they needed it most. Tsumugi, and how the plainest girl hid the darkest secrets. Kibo, and how the boy without a choice made the hardest choice of all.

Most importantly, he talked about the other survivors. Maki Harukawa, the stoic girl who wanted everyone to believe she was a dangerous monster, but had done too good a job at fooling herself. Himiko Yumeno, the magician who found any level of effort too exhausting to consider, but learned too late to open her heart and try her best.

Ran was a good listener. She took all of it in, and even when their food came, she let him continue, accepting his pauses as he ate bits and pieces of the food. She’d been right, this was the best gyoza he’d ever had. When he was done, Shuichi was able to dig into his food in earnest, just as she was pushing away a half-eaten bowl of fried rice. “Damn, kid. It sounds like you made some great friends.”

It was weird, that word sat strangely in Shuichi’s head. “I don’t...know if I’d call  _ all _ of them my friends.” Korekiyo at least had the excuse that he’d been made to think he was a serial killer, but Tsumugi...she’d chosen to be a part of it in a different way from the rest of them.  _ Unless that was a  _ **_lie_ ** _ too! Did you ever read the cast list online to be sure? _

“Anything else going on?”

There were all the things he’d learned about the day before, but that was more private. Instead, Shuichi did let her know, “I just finished testing out of high school yesterday. I’ve been applying to online universities, and a few have already accepted me. I’m just trying to decide which one I want to attend.” Still, Shuichi felt bad for hogging the conversation. “What about you? I still want to know more.”

“I’ll try to avoid talking about Hayashi too much,” Ran told him, and Shuichi appreciated that. It was obvious he was still a sore spot for them both. “What I will say is that we used to be close, but then he started...drifting away. You and I have been speaking more lately than he and I did in the last few years.” That was...incredibly sad. Shuichi could have sympathy for her, at least, even if he had none to spare for Hayashi. “When he brought the permission slip to me, so he could apply to be on the show, I signed it.” Shuichi...didn’t even realize there had been a permission slip that Ran would have had to agree to. “I’d hoped...it would make him happy.”

From there, the conversation continued in other directions. Why she’d chosen to become a nurse, what had happened with Hayashi’s father, and what she actually liked to do in her spare time.

When they left, carrying leftovers, Shuichi felt better than he had in a while.

Ran wasn’t really his mother, and he wasn't really her son.

But they filled the void for the other, and it made them feel something like kinship.


	9. Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains a depiction of a dissociative episode and violent assault.

Despite several persistent offers from Takashi, Maki walked to the nearby public school, the same one Marika had attended before leaving to be on the show.

It had a boring uniform, dark blue blazer with a black skirt. Still, it was better than something more cheery, like a yellow or pink color scheme. There were a few other students from the school walking in the same direction, but none of them approached Maki. (Did they dislike Marika? Or can they sense I just want to be alone?)

Of course, that was kind of the question, wasn’t it? Did Maki want to be alone? She was of two minds. After all, she found herself missing Shuichi and Himiko far more than she would have expected. Now that she’d let people in, past her defenses...she realized she kind of liked having them there. Maybe letting a few more people in wouldn’t kill her. (Unless they’re assassins sent to kill me. Then they might.)

On the other hand, newfound discoveries aside, Maki was still Maki. She wasn’t someone that was exactly overjoyed when people she didn’t know tried to talk to her.

That dilemma on her mind, she finally reached the school. It was as dull as the dress code, completely unremarkable. No Hope’s Peak, that was to be sure. Though, wouldn’t that be a good thing? It seemed like nothing good ever happened to the Hope’s Peak students in those games.

As she’d told Takashi, Maki had handled registering herself for the school on her own. She was going to be in class 2-D, and Maki got to the class before most of the other students, or even the teacher. Desks were assigned, but apparently she’d need to wait for class to start to be told where she’d be sitting by the teacher.

So Maki stood near the front of the class, in a corner of the room, her posture straight and her gaze intense. As the time for class to begin got closer and closer, the class filled with students, most of them in small groups, talking to each other. None of them approached Maki.

Finally, a few seconds before the bell rang, the teacher arrived. He looked young, probably just out of university, with a lean build and a bored expression. He was taking attendance, and then paused before asking the room, “Sakame, Marika?” When no one spoke up, he looked around, only to give a start when he saw Maki, apparently for the first time. “Oh! There you are.” Clearing his throat, he told the class, “Everyone Marika has come back to school, so please-”

“Maki.” There was no need to use Maki’s full killing aura. Instead, she just made her hostility obvious to him in her tone and body language.

The teacher started sweating bullets. “Yes, well...I do see that’s what it says here, but I assumed it was a computer error. Don’t you remember me? I’m Mr. Hasoteru.”

It seemed she had made a mistake in going easy on him. When Maki spoke again, every other person in the classroom tensed up. “ **My name is Maki Harukawa.** ”

For a second, she thought the idiot might choke on his own tongue. But he did regain the ability to speak, coughing and sputtering, “Oh, well, yes, Harukawa, you can sit there.” There were several open seats she could have taken, but he pointed to one in the back corner, the farthest away from him.

Without another word, Maki went and sat at her assigned seat. Roll continued, and not a single teenager dared to look back at her.

Class was boring.

Maki wasn’t exactly as knowledgeable as Shuichi, but in every class they were either covering material she already knew or things she could pick up in half the time the teacher expected.

Before she knew it, lunch had started. Maki had made her own lunch, as well as some for her si...for Nonoko and Noboru. Since she wasn’t getting anything at school, it would be a waste of time to go to the cafeteria, so Maki just ate at her desk.

She was almost done with the onigiri she’d made for herself when someone called out, “Marika! There you are!”

A gaggle of girls came into the classroom, and they were all looking at Maki. The girls were all fairly nondescript. One was a bit tall, another had dyed her hair blonde, and the last looked like she was probably an athlete. They each grabbed an empty chair and pulled them up to Maki’s desk, so Maki decided to just accept this was happening and deal with it. “Yes?”

“I can’t believe you actually went on Danganronpa! That took guts, girl! I’m proud,” the blonde girl told Maki, slapping her back jovially. Maki was too startled to threaten her for that.

The athletic girl told her, “It’s been so long since we last saw you.” It sounded like she was trying to be sympathetic, though she added less than a second later, “Did you get me a souvenir like I asked you?”

“Girls, girls,” the tallest one said, gesturing with her hands to bring the energy level down. “Marika went through a lot, let’s give her a second to be happy to see us.”

This wasn’t an ignorant family that Maki couldn’t help feeling sorry for. “I have no idea who any of you are.” These were a bunch of teenage girls who were getting on Maki’s nerves.

The three looked at each other, and it became clear to Maki from where the looks were directed that the tall girl was their leader. “Marika, c’mon, we know you’re not an honor student but you’re not that dumb. It hasn’t been more than four months, you can’t seriously think we’d believe you forgot us. Oh, are you trying to be funny?” The way she said the last sentence made it sound like Maki trying to be funny was a joke in and of itself.

Starting to look worried, the sports girl asked, “Do you need to go to the nurse? I can take you.”

“C’mon, let’s play along,” the blonde girl said, rolling her eyes. “This is Ruhi, she’s Tonagi, and I’m Kuru.” As she said the names, she gestured from the athlete, to the tall girl, to herself.

It felt strangely vindicating, to really have someone challenging her on this. It meant Maki could take out her frustrations as a demonstration.

She took out a backup pair of disposable chopsticks she’d brought with her for lunch, tested their weight in her hand, then with effortless ease threw them like a throwing knife. The wooden implement spun through the air faster than most people would be able to see, and stuck into the wall, buried into the plasted more than an inch.

It had been a precise strike, moving close enough to Tonagi’s cheek for her to feel it, without actually touching her. One by one, the girls looked at the chopsticks, then back at Maki. They were stunned. (Good. That always makes intimidation easier.) “My name is Maki Harukawa. I have never met you before in my life. When your ‘friend’ went onto that show, they replaced her with me, the Ultimate Assassin.”

The shock only lasted a few seconds more, and Tonagi quickly tried to regain control. “ **Marika** , I know that’s the character they had you play, but-”

“ **Do you want to die?** ”

All three girls went deadly pale. Maki had said the words before out of a habit, an easy way to get people to leave her alone. But for the first time in ages, they came out as a genuine threat. Either these girls were going to learn that Maki wasn’t Marika through words, or Maki was going to have to make her talent more clear.

No deaths, of course. But Maki knew how to do so much more than just kill.

Rubbing a hand through her blonde hair, Kuru looked like she was starting to understand first. “Really? You’re not Marika, like, at all?” Maki didn’t say anything, didn’t nod, just looked at her. Without breaking eye contact, Kuru whispered, “Girls, she’s not joking, there is no  **way** that is Marika.”

The realization spread like a virus. Looking more than a little unsettled, Tonagi said, “I...didn’t realize that the procedure to get on the show was that drastic...or irreversible.”

“Maki, I am so sorry!” Ruhi exclaimed, bowing her head and putting her hands together in a sign of prayer. “We had no idea that would happen! Heck, we didn’t even know you’d go on the show, we were just teasing you about applying because we knew you were too much of a scaredy-cat to do it.”

Now Maki was genuinely starting to get angry. “ **You** were the ones who convinced Marika to go on the show?” She didn’t raise her voice, but something in her tone terrified the teenagers regardless.

“Like Ruhi said, we didn’t know you would actually do it.” Tonagi took up the banner of talking to Maki once more, and she had to be at least a little impressed. It was obvious from the slight tremor in her hands that she was terrified, but she was still facing Maki, still speaking to her. “It’s hard to believe we’ll never see our friend again...”

That was rich. Maki didn’t laugh, but when she spoke again, the words took on a cruel edge. “Friends? I’ve been talking to you for a few minutes, but even I know you weren’t Marika’s friends. All of that manipulative shit you were saying before, when you thought I was her. That’s not friendship.” Maki just...knew that was true. Shuichi would never talk down to her like that, even if he was afraid of her.

“What do you think you’re saying, of course you...of course Marika was our friend! If you don’t have her memories, how would you know?” Ruhi exclaimed, looking offended by Maki’s words.

Everything was starting to fit into place. (What a sad story.) “Because unlike Marika, I have a working brain. You three must have loved having her around. So eager to please, so desperate for your affection.” A teenage girl who did whatever her parents told her. A teenage girl crying behind locked doors. “You know she’d do anything to have you around, so you used her. It wouldn’t even take someone like Kokichi to do it. You just had to throw out a compliment every so often, to keep her going.” Their faces started to turn red. Embarrassment? Good. “Well newsflash: you killed her. She would have done anything you wanted, and that included marching to her death. Leave now, or I’ll start trying to even the scales.”

The threat hung in the air, and with a huff Tonagi turned away, saying, “Let’s go. Turns out we don’t have a friend in this class after all.” They filed out, though Ruhi turned around and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ when she thought Tonagi wouldn’t notice.

Soon class was back in session, but Maki couldn’t focus on studies.

So, it seemed she knew who Marika really was. A weak-willed girl, so eager for people to like her, she’d do anything.

Maki couldn’t help feeling at least some pity for her. But not much. Not only had Marika’s decisions landed Maki in the Ultimate Academy, but Maki couldn’t fathom how such a thing could happen.

Marika had a mother, a father, two siblings...they all loved her. That was obvious. So why wasn’t that enough? Why was she so desperate for affection that she let those harpies run her life?

It didn’t make any sense.

It never would.

* * *

Things had been better since they’d gone to dinner.

It felt like the wall that had stood between Ran and Shuichi was gone now.

That didn’t exactly mean they were suddenly talking together for hours every day, they were both still fairly anti-social by nature. It just meant they shared the apartment with more comfort, and when they did step on each other’s toes, they tried to fix it a lot quicker.

She was at work already, leaving Shuichi in his room, the only light shining in the darkness coming from his computer screen.

He’d made an account on social media the night after they’d had Chinese food, and at first it didn’t seem to mean anything.

After all, Shuichi didn’t have any friends to add. Maki and Himiko, from what he could tell, had no interest in that sort of thing. When he wanted to talk to them, he did it over text.

The day before, he’d gotten some messages from seemingly random people. They didn’t believe he was really Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective from the 53rd season of Danganronpa. Not until he’d taken a selfie with his cell phone and showed it to them.

He blocked them soon afterwards.

Talking to fans of that show...wasn’t really good for Shuichi’s mental health.  _ Please, what is? I mean, look at you! Bags under your eyes, the lights are off for no reason, and you’re  _ **_still_ ** _ wearing black! Maybe we should have called you the Ultimate Emo! _

Now, Shuichi kept the website open in one tab while he did research with his other fifteen.  _ Someone’s going to be a hoarder if he isn’t careful. _ The tabs were actually getting so small, Shuichi almost missed it when a notification appeared.

He’d gotten a message.

Clicking over, he saw it was from someone he didn’t know, but this one actually lived in the same city. Kashi Tetsuzashi. “Sorry to bother you, but just in case you’re the real Shuichi...do you know someone by the name of Hayashi?”

Shuichi’s heartbeat got quicker just reading that name. “Yes, I’m the real Shuichi. I’m aware that Hayashi Gima’s body is the one they wrote me into.” Before sending it, Shuichi hesitated. Did that sound harsh? He edited it to sound nicer, then edited it back and sent it.

There was a reply pretty quickly. “Holy shit! You’re really him! That’s crazy!” The sanest part of Shuichi’s brain was telling him to just block this person now. He didn’t care about Hayashi, after all. He didn’t want to learn about him. But curiosity was his greatest weakness.  _ Guess you’re not a cat, because it hasn’t killed you yet! _ “Hayashi and I actually went to middle school together. You were amazing! Easily one of the best protagonists so far, up there with some of the original ones, like Hajime.”

Something strange was going on with Shuichi’s stomach. Why was he nauseous all of a sudden? Why couldn’t he just close the tab? Why...why didn’t he feel like he was in his body anymore? Why did it feel like he was an outside observer, forced to watch as his body continued the conversation? “I appreciate that, thank you.” “You’re not upset about the way the season ended?”

“No way!” “It was amazing!” “Screw those edgelords complaining online, I love it when the heroes actually get a win!” Shuichi was starting to feel numb emotionally. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t get back in control. He’d just have to wait this out. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what was your favorite execution in your season? I know a lot of people liked Kirumi’s, but Kaede-”

Shuichi didn’t finish reading the message. Finally, feeling returning to his hands, he blocked the person and closed the window, all the other tabs included.

Then, as fast as his legs could take him, Shuichi ran into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet, completely emptying his stomach of everything it had in it. But it didn’t stop there. He just kept puking, nothing but bile left, and he tried to mentally shut out all thoughts.

He didn’t want to think about what just happened.

He didn’t.

He didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t.

It was a while before he felt good enough to go back to his room, still pale and dripping with sweat. This...was something he was going to have to talk about during his next therapy session.

_ Oh please, you can’t handle a little dissociative episode? Call me when you’ve planned your own murder and had yourself crushed in a hydrolic press, then we can talk about trauma. _

* * *

For a while, Himiko wasn’t sure if anyone would actually show up.

She’d arrived at the park right around when they’d agreed to, but it was empty.

Her parents didn’t know she was there. They were at work, and Himiko didn’t want them to know about this plan of hers. After all, they didn’t want to talk about Aini.

But there were people who did.

The girls didn’t come one by one, but all in a group. Most of them looked really shy, but the one in front looked like a popular girl. “We all came, even though we had to skip school. What did you want?” She sounded kind of...brave. Like Tenko sounded when she was sticking up for Himiko.

The little mage took a deep breath, then bowed as low as she could. “Hi, I’m Himiko Yumeno. Like I said in the message, I’m not Aini but...I’m still really sorry about what happened to all of you!” She started off sounding a little bored and tired, like usual, but the more Himiko talked about it, the more emotional she started to get. “If you’ll never forgive me for what she did, I understand, but I still had to apologize to you!” Tears were starting to fall.

Himiko couldn’t bring herself to look up. There was just silence.

Then, out of nowhere, Himiko felt herself being pulled up to stand straight, and enveloped in a hug. It was a big girl, and she was very soft. “Oh, you don’t have to cry...” Soon, more sets of arms joined her, and Himiko was surrounded by girls hugging her. It was giving her a weird feeling, but she was too frazzled to deal with that in the moment. “Aini was Aini, and Himiko is Himiko.”

“...thank you, though.” A very quiet voice spoke up next, and as they started to pull back a little and give Himiko more space, she saw this girl was wearing a choker around her neck. “I forgive you, even if you didn’t do anything wrong...”

“Let’s give her some space!” It was the girl who talked first, who’d stood out in front. They all backed away more, and then the girl smirked at Himiko. “What they said. But we should do introductions! I’m Iya Mizukaze, and this is...” From there, Iya, who Himiko had reached out to online to set this meeting up, told her the names of the other six girls there.

They went over to a park table, and started really talking. Himiko learned more about all of them. Iya was a big fan of the show, but hated Aini, and had befriended the rest after they’d shared their stories. It sounded like she enjoyed being in charge. Asahiro was the girl with the choker, and she told Himiko privately, while the other girls went to a nearby convenience store to get snacks, that she was something called ‘transgender’. Himiko didn’t really know what that was, but Asahiro was really nice, and Himiko told her she was very pretty. She made a brain note to ask Shuichi about what ‘transgender’ was next time she saw him.

Bakashiro was kind of rough, and she wore a leather jacket. Shimura was the girl who hugged Himiko first, she was really beautiful and always smiling. Miyake was close to Himiko’s height but also really loud, but not in a bad way. Yuzuki reminded Himiko of Maki, really serious and frowny all the time, but she also bought Himiko candy which made her the best.

They ended up hanging out for a few hours, never bringing up Aini again, and when Himiko left to get home before her moms did, she was feeling really good.

Then, a block or two from home, she heard someone call out from behind her, “Oh, hey, Himiko! One last thing!” She turned around to see it was Iya running up, waving a hand.

“Nyeh?” Himiko murmured.

“Sorry, I just remembered there was something I wanted to ask you about,” Iya started, looking around before pointing at a nearby alley between two buildings. “Can we talk about it over there? It’s kind of private, and I wouldn’t want someone to overhear.” Himiko didn’t have a problem with that, and nodded.

Himiko went into the alley, and blinked her eyes. It was so sunny outside, but it was dark enough in the alley that it almost like night had come early.

Those were the only thoughts Himiko had before she suddenly felt a shock from behind her. It was like trying to cast a spell using too much mana, some kind of power flowed through her body, and her legs came out from under her. Himiko fell on the alley pavement, hard. She couldn’t even cry out, though, none of her muscles would listen to her.

The pain was gone in a few seconds, and instead Himiko was feeling numb. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” No more numb. A sharp pain flared up in Himiko’s chest as someone kicked it, hard. Her limp body was flung a few feet away, crashing into a wall. “Aini Tono, the bitch who ruined my life, gets chosen to be on my favorite show?” Another kick, in the same area, but it hurt worse. Himiko is pushed against the wall, there was nowhere to move.

Feeling starting to come back to her arms, she weakly tried to grab Iya’s shoe. “Iya, ‘m sorry...” Himiko barely managed to say.

Iya laughed and kicked her again, while ignoring what Himiko had said. “Fine. Sure, I’d been applying for years and SHE. DIDN’T. EVEN. LIKE. DANGAN. RONPA.” With each shouted word, she kicked. They weren’t all going to Himiko’s stomach anymore. Her arms, her legs, even one shot at her face which hurt so bad and made it hard for Himiko to hear what she was saying, or see anything in the darkness through the pain. “But hey! At least she was going to die!”

“I’m...” Himiko started to say, but another kick to her face shut her up.

“I had dreams of her execution! When it happened, I knew I was going to save the video so I could watch it on my phone whenever I needed to laugh!” She stopped kicking, and started stomping. Not on Himiko’s torso, luckily, but instead on her hands, which were still trying to protect her, and on her legs. It hurt worse than anything that happened in the Killing Game. “But you wouldn’t die! An airheaded lazy half-pint who wouldn’t shut up about magic, and you somehow made it to the end!” Himiko started trying to stand.

To her surprise, Iya let it happen, but once Himiko was up, before she could try running, Iya grabbed her and pinned her to the wall, using her height and strength advantages to make sure she couldn’t move. “I didn’t think I could get more disappointed, but you just love fucking with me, don’t you?!” Himiko realized that Iya was crying. “You made the whole school hate me, you made my parents think I’m some lesbo rapist, but that wasn’t good enough?! No, you have to  **ruin my favorite show, too** . You had to take everything I wanted away from me, and now you’re acting like you’re sorry?”

Her hands started to move to Himiko’s throat, and with the only breath she could gather, she struggled to say, “But I’m not Aini...”

For a second, it looked like what Himiko had said just made Iya more angry. But then she looked at her hands, and Himiko saw that somehow, some of Himiko’s bright pink blood had gotten onto them. “Ha...it’s just like in the show...” Iya didn’t sound confident anymore. She dropped Himiko who collapsed, unable to stand up again. The other girl was looking down at her, something in her eyes like she was seeing Himiko for the first time. “Fuck. Holy fuck, why did I do that?” Iya sounded scared.

Himiko tried to tell her it was okay, that she’d be okay, but the words wouldn’t come out. Why did her chest hurt so much? Why did...everything hurt so much?

“I can’t...I didn’t...” The assailant was stammering, looking around in fear before turning her attention back to Himiko. “You made me do it! I didn’t...if you hadn’t asked to meet up, I never would have...you deserved...” Himiko was confused. Why was she doing any of this? Himiko had just wanted to say she was sorry. “Don’t tell anyone! Tell a single person I did this, and I’ll...”

There was no ending to that threat, because Iya ran down the alley to the opposite side, coming out on another street.

It took a few minutes for Himiko to really place what was going on.

She’d been attacked.

She was alive.

She was hurt.

She...had to get home. Momma would take care of her, and so would Mom.

Reaching out with hands that didn’t look right in her blurred vision, Himiko pulled herself towards the nearby alley exit. She wasn’t that far from home.

It was too slow, so Himiko tried standing again. Her right leg hurt  really bad whenever she put weight on it, but she still managed to get upright, and start limping.

The entire way home, Himiko didn’t think. She couldn’t. It took everything she had to keep going.

Getting into the gate was hard, her fingers weren’t doing what she told them to do. But she got it eventually, and was soon climbing the steps to the front door. Out of energy, Himiko slumped against the entrance, barely finding the ability to press the doorbell.

For a second, Himiko thought she was going to fall asleep. That sounded nice...

But then the door opened, just as Himiko heard Short Mom ask, “Who is it?” Himiko fell forward, drooping into her Momma’s body, who was soon holding her, at first upright, and then carrying her in her arms. “Himiko?! What happened, you’re-”

“Touko, put her on the couch! I’ll call an ambulance.”

Himiko was being carried somewhere, and she could hear her Short Mom crying, while Tall Mom was on the phone. But her eyelids were too heavy, they wouldn’t open anymore.

As her mind started to drift into unconsciousness, Himiko realized that she shouldn’t be surprised this happened.

After all, the Killing Game had taught her well.

Trying to find the truth led to pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I do want to apologize for how dark this fic has gotten in the last few chapters. This should be the loe point though, things will start looking up from here.
> 
> Also, please leave a comment with your thoughts, if you have the time, those always brighten my day


	10. Time of Revelations

“And have you told Ran about that, Shuichi?”

It was another therapy session over the phone, and it was feeling even...smoother, perhaps, than when they’d first started. Still, they were discussing tough subject matters, so even as Shuichi lay on his bed, eyes on the ceiling, he struggled to find the right words to say to Ms. Kokaki. “...I haven’t.” The admission was hard. They’d just been talking about something extremely personal, something he’d never shared with anyone but his therapist. “I want to, I think, but...”

His voice trailed off, his thought unfinished. “That’s okay,” she told him, and he tried to believe her. “It’s  _ okay _ if you have to take time before sharing that with someone. I’m happy you felt like you could share it with me. You’re making progress.” Shuichi wanted to believe that. “We still have some time left, was there anything else you wanted to cover today or would you like to end a little early?” Ms. Kokaki asked the question lightly, as if afraid it could bruise Shuichi from over the phone.

_ Of course she can! Adorable widdle Shuichi, always so scawed about what people say to  _ **_him_ ** _.  _ “Actually, there is something,” Shuichi said, feeling a momentary boldness born of an odd upswing in spite. “I’ve been...hearing a voice in my head. Ever since we left the show.”  _ Oh, you’re telling her about moi? I guess you’re finally ready to make friends with the men in the white coats, huh? _

The voice’s mockery was coated in real fears. But Shuichi wanted to trust his therapist. He’d finally decided to tell her about this. “What kind of voice, Shuichi?”

“It kind of...” Shuichi realized he didn’t know exactly how to describe it.

“It’s okay if you have to take a moment to find the right words, Shuichi.”

_ Can’t you hear the pity in her voice?  _ “It taunts me.”  _ Really?  _ **_Taunting?_ ** _ That’s the best you can come up with? _ “I can hear it right now. It...tells me things that I’m already afraid of. Like it’s feeding my anxieties.” Saying it out loud made Shuichi feel sure Ms. Kokaki would laugh at the idea, or think he was losing his mind.

She must have been able to tell he was feeling something like that. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Shuichi. Lots of people have issues like yours, and it’s nothing that can’t be treated.” He really hoped she was telling the truth. “So, would you say the voice seems to speak up more when you’re feeling anxious already?”

Looking back over every incident he could remember, Shuichi tried to correlate the two. “No? Stress seems to make it worse, but there are other times where I have anxiety spirals and the voice doesn’t speak up at all. In fact...” He double checked, and was starting to be sure of something. “...I think it shows up more when I’m feeling good, or at least less more hopeful.” It was like the voice was trying to pull him back into that heightened state of fear.

_ That’s because it’s safer, idiot! When you relax, you’re just  _ **_begging_ ** _ to be killed. _

“Does it sound like your own voice? Or someone you know?”

“Someone I know.”

“Are you okay with telling me who?”

It felt strange to say it out loud, but he’d already gone this far on the topic, so he might as well. “I didn’t realize it sounded like anyone at first, but after a while I realized it was...Kokichi Oma.” Shuichi hadn’t talked about the Ultimate Supreme Leader much since escaping the show. Only that one time with Ran, actually. Never with Maki or Himiko.

Ms. Kokaki didn’t say anything back at first, which made Shuich think she was taking notes.  _ Or letting Team Danganronpa know they can take you back, since you’re so screwed up in the head! _ “That was one of the other Ultimates, correct?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of relationship did you and Kokichi have when he was alive?”

_ Ooooh, I’m excited to hear this! What  _ **_did_ ** _ you think of me, Kokichi? No sappy stuff this time, please! _ Trying to tune the voice out, reminding himself of what she said, reminding himself that the real Kokichi was dead, Shuichi tried to explain his feelings as best as he could. “Kokichi was...a very difficult person. He was always lying, he loved playing with the rest of us like we were pieces on his chess board. He masterminded one murder, then created his own in an attempt to fool Monokuma. Everyone else hated him.”

_ Well, you’re not wrong there. Jeez, Shuichi, you’re talking about  _ **_me_ ** _ and you can’t even throw in a lie or two? Tell her I was really tall! Or that you secretly loved me! Oh, wait, is that one a lie, or is it true? _

The therapist didn’t miss how Shuichi had phrased that. “But  _ you _ didn’t?”

Shuichi’s throat was very dry, and he felt like he needed to drink some water. But he could do that later. First, he had to say something. “I didn’t. I don’t. For all the horrible things he did, Kokichi also helped us. Without him, we never would have learned the real truth.” Even giving him that much phrase felt wrong, though. “I’m not saying that makes up for his crimes! They don’t. I just...”

“...you have a hard time hating any of them, don’t you?” Ms. Kokaki’s voice was even gentler than he’d ever heard it before. “That’s because you’re a very compassionate person, Shuichi. In fact, it seems the only person you’re not willing to give another chance to is yourself.” That was a recurring part of their talks. How Shuichi needed to learn to forgive himself. “Would you be okay if we continued this discussion next week?” Shuichi told her that was fine, he knew she had other clients after all.

The call ended, and Shuichi left his room to hydrate himself.

He felt...strangely light. The voice was quiet, and talking about it, talking about Kokichi, felt like a burden had been lifted from his heart.

“Hey, kid,” Ran called out. Shuichi turned, empty glass in his hand, and saw Ran looking out from her room. “Therapy done?” He nodded. “It’s my night off, I thought we could hang out.”

She was doing her best to sound brusque, but Shuichi felt confident she was nervous asking. There were definitely some days where he wouldn’t have had the energy for something like that, but this wasn’t one of them. He smiled and told her, “Sure thing.” After he finished hydrating himself, Shuichi joined her in the room.

It wasn’t what he would expect from a mother’s room. It was messy, with clothes just laying around, and just as darkly lit as Shuichi’s own abode. They sat on her bed, and she put a cop show on the old television. He didn’t know if it was something she particularly liked, or if she was doing that for him, but either way he liked it.

At first they sat almost a full foot apart, but during a commercial break he asked her, unsure, “Would...it be okay if I leaned on you?” It sounded so weird to say, but she just laughed.

“Sure, I don’t mind, kid.” So Shuichi scooted closer, and carefully rested his head on her shoulder.

It had been so long since Shuichi had felt that way. It was a small thing, being able to rest, to put his weight on someone else, but it made him feel safer, more at home, than any time he could remember. His parents had been there for him so rarely, and his aunt and uncle were kind but not the type who gave him much physical affection.

Ran didn’t seem to mind, though. In fact, something about her smile changed. She’d never really looked like a mom before. Without thinking, Shuichi asked her something he’d been debating bringing up for a few days. “Is it okay if I start calling you ‘Mom’?” That got a shocked look from her, but he just kept barrelling on anyway. “I know I’m not Hayashi, but I’ve never had someone like you in my life before, and-”

“Shut up, Shuichi.” The words were harsh, but her voice was soft. She ran a hand through his hair, and he wondered if she’d been wanting to hear him ask that for a while. “Call me that if you want. You’re a good kid, and I’d be happy to have you as my son.” Shuichi cried at that, because of course he would, but Ran cried a little too, which made him feel a little better.

From there, the only real rough spot of the night came hours later, as Shuichi checked his phone, and still found nothing. He hadn’t heard from Himiko in a while. Hopefully, she was okay.

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep.

For who knows how long, Himiko drifted in and out of consciousness.

Her eyelids were always too heavy to open, and the voices she’d sometimes hear around her were so loud she couldn’t understand them.

The only thing she knew for sure was that beeping sound.

From that, when she was able to get her wits together, she could tell where she was.

A hospital.

Nyeh.

Himiko didn’t like hospitals. She wished she had the energy to speak, so she could mumble about them.

They smelled gross. Too science-y. Give her a good health potion, and she’d be fine, nyeh.

Eventually, though, she woke up and realized she could actually understand someone near her. “...so sorry. Himiko, you have to...” It was her Short Mom, and she sounded really sad.

“Momma?” Even whispering that was hard, but Himiko felt like she had to do it. She had to let them know she was awake.

The sound of Short Mom’s voice stopped, only for both of her mothers to shout out, “Himiko!”

With a smidge of effort, which for Himiko was a lot, she was able to open her eyes, and once her vision went from fuzzy to clear, she could see Short Mom was sitting by her bedside, while Tall Mom had stood up. Both of them had been crying. A lot.

“I’ll go tell a nurse. Touko, you watch her.” Tall Mom sounded exhausted, but she marched out of the room anyway.

It looked like Short Mom was trying to smile at her, but it was hard. She was so sad.

That was Himiko’s fault.

She’d gone behind their backs, just so she could make herself feel better. But it led to her getting hurt, which hurt them too.

Now that she was really starting to wake up, Himiko was starting to feel the pain. A lot of her body was wrapped up in bandages and casts, so she couldn’t move a lot. But when she tried, it  really hurt. Still, that didn’t matter as much as Short Mom did. “Momma, I’m sorry.”

The apology spell didn’t work. Short Mom actually looked even sadder. “No, Himiko,  I’m sorry. It’s...it’s all my fault.” That didn’t make any sense to Himiko. “Yuu told me about what happened, or what she thinks happened. You...you’ve been trying to find out more about Aini, but you were scared to ask me.”

“I wasn’t scared,” Himiko told her, though she wasn’t sure if she sounded convincing.

Of course, she had been scared. Not of Short Mom, not really, but of how she’d react. Himiko didn’t want her new moms to hate her. “You should have felt safe asking me, and that’s my fault. But now I’ll tell you...” It sounded like those words were hard for her to force out.

“It sounds so terrible for a mother to say, but Aini wasn’t a good child. You’ve...heard of some of what she did?”

It was terrible to think about it again, but Himiko nodded. Well, as much as she was able to, with the angle her head was at.

“She was like that since she was little. Aini...liked hurting other people. Even your mom and me.  Especially your mom and me.” There was a small note of anger in her voice now, and it reminded Himiko of that photo she’d found. “We argued all the time, and I tried to get her to stop...but she wouldn’t listen to me.

“We started to think we were terrible parents.” Short Mom was crying now, and seeing those large tears well up and track down her cheeks made Himiko want to cry too. “Was it because we raised her wrong? Was there something wrong with my genetics, or with Yuu’s? Neither side of the family had a history for...” She stopped herself, taking a breath to try and steady her breathing.

Himiko tried to clear her throat, it felt so dry, but in the process she just started coughing. When she could finally talk again, she told her Momma, “You’re not bad moms. Aini was just...” Himiko searched for good words. “...you tried anyway.” That was what was important, right?”

It didn’t seem like Short Mom thought that was true. In a voice so quiet that Himiko barely heard her, Short Mom whispered, “I signed the slip.” Himiko didn’t understand what she meant. “I don’t know why, but Aini told me she wanted to be on Danganronpa, and needed someone to sign the form. And I...I did it. I knew that if she was chosen, she’d be gone for good. But I’d just heard more complaints from her school and I just...I wanted her gone.” It was hard to understand her, through the sobbing. “Yuu doesn’t know, but I’m the reason she’s gone...”

Himiko blinked, trying to think through this. So, Aini had gotten Short Mom to sign the permission form? Seeing a contradiction, Himiko had to point it out. Channeling Shuichi, she said, “No, that’s wrong.” Short Mom looked at her, confused. “Momma, Aini  asked you to sign it. You didn’t kill her. She...she chose to leave.” That had been a lot of talking, and it was starting to tire her out. Tall Mom was coming back into the room with a lady that kind of looked like Shuichi, but Himiko was already fading.

The next time Himiko woke up, she felt a lot better. Her moms were happy about that, and the doctor told her that she’d had a bunch of broken bones. They were healing well though, so she’d be able to go home soon, with the casts still on.

A police person came by to ask Himiko about who attacked her, but Himiko didn’t say anything. She just said she couldn’t remember who did it.

Then, she was allowed to get visitors. Shuichi and Maki were first, and it looked like they’d been worried. 

“ **Tell me who did this.** ” Maki hadn’t sounded that dangerous in a while.

“...” Shuichi didn’t say anything against it. He just sat next to her bed, looking unsure of what he could do, but with a weird fire in his eyes. One Himiko hadn’t seen since he’d last cornered a bad person in a class trial.

After thinking it over for a little bit, Himiko gave them the same answer she’d had before. “I don’t know, nyeh.” Maybe she’d tell them later. Then, Himiko remembered something, and she smiled (as best she could through the exhaustion and pain). “When I go home, do you two want to come over for a slumber party?”

The more she’d thought about it, ever since her Short Mom had brought up the idea, the more she thought having her friends over sounded really good.

Shuichi rushed to speak first. “Of course!” He sounded happy. That was nice.

Meanwhile, Maki was rolling her eyes, but she still said, “Sure.” Maybe being in the hospital had its benefits, nyeh.

Once they left, Himiko was surprised to find out there were more waiting.

“Himiko!” The first to come in was Shimura, and she looked really different. The big girl who’d radiated fierceness, strength, and support was now sobbing onto the jacket she was wearing. “I’m so glad you’re okay! We all heard what happened, and we’ve been so worried!”

She wasn’t alone. A few feet behind her, Asahiro had entered the room. While not crying, the cute girl looked really somber. “Everyone else is planning to come see you later, but we made you these get-well cards...” She set them on the table near Himiko’s bed, and the mage looked forward to her moms reading them to her later.

That was nice. But Himiko was kind of confused. “But why?”

Wiping away the thick tracks of tears, Shimura loudly replied, “Because you’re our friend now!” only to be shushed by a passing nurse.

For the first time since arriving, Asahiro smiled. “She’s right.” That felt...really good. Himiko liked Maki and Shuichi, but maybe having more than two friends would be nice. But then the timid girl brought up, “Iya wanted me to tell you that  she’s sorry she couldn’t be here.”

Visiting hours ended, and Himiko was left all on her own.

Strangely enough, Himiko wasn’t feeling angry at Iya for what she’d done. It felt like she should have. Beating someone up wasn’t nice. But...whenever she thought back to the alley, alongside the pain she’d felt, Himiko could remember how Iya had looked, at the end. It reminded her of some of her friends, when they’d been caught by their lies as the Blackened at a class trial.

That didn’t mean Himiko wanted to see Iya again, she didn’t. It just meant Himiko wouldn’t cast any curse spells at her.

Or if she did, they’d be really small ones, nyeh.

* * *

They were in the family car when it happened.

“Hey, Marika, aren’t you excited for a trip to the mall? It’s been so long since you last-” Takashi started to ask her.

That was the final straw. “ **I’m not Marika.** ”

The atmosphere in the vehicle was suddenly very tense. Well, aside from Nonoko, who chimed in, “Yeah, she’s Maki!”

The family’s father looked from his youngest to ‘his oldest’, confused. “Marika, what are you talking about? I don’t know what kind of stuff they told you on that game show, but I know who my daughter is and I’m getting tired of you acting so moody!” Now he was starting to go from confusion to anger.

Maki was damn well ready to explain, but someone else chimed in. “Dad, she’s really not Marika anymore!” It was Noboru, his voice fierce as he stood up for her. It took Maki by surprise. Why did he sound...a little like her?

“They’re right, dear,” Matsuko said with a sigh, finally ready to speak up for Maki. “That show...they did something. Marika’s gone, and that’s Maki. I’m surprised you haven’t asked me about it yet. Couldn’t you tell something was wrong?"

They were stopped at a red light, and Takashi looked around the car, at all the resolute faces starting at him. “C-c’mon guys, that’s not funny. I know Marika’s been acting a little different since she came back, but-”

“Maki!” Nonoko corrected.

The Ultimate Assassin met his eyes through the rearview mirror, and she saw him freeze in fear. “I’m going to make this simple. If I’m going to stay here, as part of this family, it’s as Maki Harukawa. If you don’t like that, that’s fine. I’m an emancipated minor, I don’t  **need** to live here anymore. I’ll make a life for myself, and they’ll still be in it.” Maki gestured at the rest of the...at the rest of  **her** family. She didn’t feel embarrassed by the loving looks the siblings and mother were giving her, for once.

That seemed to be the last push he needed. “Okay, okay, okay!” he exclaimed. “You’re...I guess you’re Maki now. I’ll try to remember that.” It didn’t sound incredibly convincing, but Maki would see if he followed through. Clearly trying to change the subject to avoid the atmosphere that had formed, Takashi asked, “So, what kind of clothes were you wanting to get,  **Maki** ?”

He was trying a bit  **too** hard, but it was something. Still, Maki felt the desire to scare him a little more. “Oh, I’ll definitely be needing new clothes. I can pay for it, though.” She gave a small smile and said, “I heard they actually released a shirt with something I said on Danganronpa on it. I think I’ll look good in a black shirt that says, ‘ **Do you want to die?** ’ don’t you?”

Maki didn’t know what was better: the way Takashi’s face paled, the way he sputtered, or the way everyone else in the car felt like they were in on the joke with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: SLUMBER PARTY


	11. Slumber Party

Getting back home from the hospital had been nice.

The food there wasn’t as good as Short Mom’s, and Himiko had missed her bed.

There was also just something nice about it. Like being in a place called Home helped recharge her mana faster.

It was starting to get late, which meant that Himiko’s friends would be there soon. “Are you sure you want company?” Tall Mom asked, as she sat by Himiko’s bedside. Ever since coming back, one of them made sure to be with her at all times, as if they were scared something would happen to her if Himiko left their sight. “I know we encouraged you to be more social, but you just got home...”

“Nyeh,” Himiko grunted, raising up a little so she could look at her mom. Luckily, only one arm and one leg had needed to remain in casts, but even that made moving around pretty hard. “I’m sure. I really miss them.” Speaking kind of hurt too, but it felt like she had to say those words.

The sound of the doorbell chimed, and Tall Mom got up. “I’ll get that,” she told Himiko, before getting up, kissing her daughter’s forehead, and heading out to see which guest had come first.

While Tall Mom was gone, Himiko double-checked that everything was ready. She was wearing her amazing witch’s hat-print pajamas, check. They’d moved the TV into Himiko’s room so they could watch movies, check. Himiko sniffed the air. The smell of cooking snacks was evident, check.

“Hey.” Maki didn’t even knock, she just threw that greeting out as she came into the room. She looked around at the decor, which Himiko had slowly been buying with her allowance. Crystal balls and tarot decks and lots of books about magic. Maki was probably jealous that her room wasn’t as cool, nyeh. “Your moms are talking Matsuko’s ears off. It sounds like they want to have her over for dinner sometime.” Maki took a seat in the chair Tall Mom had been in, right next to Himiko’s bed.

It felt like Maki was staring at her. Himiko wasn’t scared of her anymore, but it still started to make the mage nervous. Even if Maki was wearing really cute night-sky pajamas. “W-what?” she asked, unable to take the pressure anymore.

For like a whole minute, Maki didn’t say anything back, she just kept staring. Even Himiko’s magically enhanced willpower was starting to falter after a while. “Are you ready to tell me who did it?”

At first, Himiko wasn’t 100% sure what Maki meant, but the fact she was looking at Himiko’s casts (signed by her friends both old and new) made it pretty obvious. Himiko...didn’t know what to say.

She still didn’t really want to tell anyone that it was Iya, one of the girls who Aini had bullied, who had hurt her so badly.

It wasn’t that Himiko thought she deserved to be hurt, not really.

It was just that she was okay now. Mostly.

Telling anyone that Iya had done it wouldn’t really help. People would just be mad at Iya, but that wouldn’t fix Himiko’s arm and leg.

While Himiko was thinking of how to explain why she still wasn’t going to tell her trained assassin friend who it was that hurt her, someone else spoke up. “If she doesn’t want to tell us, that’s okay.” They both looked at the door, and saw Shuichi was there. He was wearing pretty boring pajamas, just black loungers with a long sleeved black night shirt. “ _ If _ she ever wants to tell us, we’ll hear her out. But we shouldn’t pressure her in the meantime.”

It had been a long time since Himiko had heard Shuichi talk like that. Not just easily, without his usual awkwardness, but happily. How long had it been since she’d seen Shuichi that happy?

It was hard to tell what Maki was thinking, she was doing that thing where her face was kind of frozen. Instead of actually responding to what Shuichi said, Maki asked, “Where’d that confidence come from?”

Of course, the bravery disappeared in seconds after it was commented on, leaving Shuichi his usual shy self. Himiko didn’t mind that, though. Shuichi was good either way, in her opinion, so long as he was still at least trying to smile. “Just...trying to be more decisive, I guess?” Looking around the room, and realizing there weren’t any more places available to sit, he ended up awkwardly sitting on the floor. “How are you feeling, Himiko?”

“It doesn’t hurt too much anymore,” Himiko lied. In fact, it was only thanks to moderately strong painkillers that she was able to sleep most nights. But she was off them for this slumber party, because she wanted to be lucid while hanging out with her friends. It was okay, so long as she didn’t move too much, she’d be able to bear it.

Just as Himiko was going to suggest their first activity of the night, the door to the room opened and both her moms came in carrying trays of snacks to set on Himiko’s desk. They looked from their daughter to Maki to Shuichi, smiling. “Oh, look at all of you! We’re just so happy you could make it,” Short Mom said, beaming far more brightly than her wife.

Still, there was undeniable warmth in Tall Mom’s more subdued smile. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to let us know. We’re just down the hall, on the right.” Then, both moms moved through the room to come up to Himiko’s bed and did what they always did before they went to bed for the night: kissed Himiko on her forehead. Only now, there was an audience, as Tall Mom told her, “Sweet dreams, little mage.”

Short Mom was right after, and her kiss came with a light hug, which was careful to avoid the cast on her arm. “You’re our baby girl, and we love you.” Then they left the room, seemingly unaware of how bright red Himiko was, almost matching her hair color.

It was weird...she normally didn’t get this embarrassed. But for some reason, her moms being so loving in front of her friends made her feel uncomfortable. It didn’t have anything to do with them being gay, no, no, that wasn’t it...it was probably because of their situations. From what Himiko understood, Shuichi only had one mom, and last time she checked they weren’t really close. Maki...she didn’t even think of her family as her family.

Was Himiko flaunting her loving parents in front of them? Was she being mean?

Doing what Himiko did best when faced with tough questions, she completely avoided answering them. “Let’s watch a movie!”

Maki handled the actual task of setting it up. The movies were streaming from...actually, Himiko didn’t really know how it worked. She was just going to go with magic.

Picking a movie took a while. Himiko wanted to watch fantasy, Maki didn’t care, and Shuichi wanted to watch a mystery. Eventually, they found something that kinda fit what they all wanted: a really bad horror movie.

It was one of those really schlocky, special effects filled ones. None of the violence did anything for them, the friends ended up making fun of the movie as they watched it together. “There isn’t that much blood in the body,” Himiko said, knowing from experience. “Hey, Maki, you’re going to school, right?”

“...” Maki didn’t respond at first, though whether that was because she had to think of her answer, or because she was focusing on the movie, Himiko didn’t know. “Yeah. It’s pretty dull, but it could be worse.”

There was definitely something hollow about how she said that, it made Himiko sad. Reaching over with her available arm, Shuichi moved the popcorn over for her to grab a handful, and after munching on it, Himiko asked, “What about Marika’s family?” She’d learned not to call them Maki’s family, though that had taken a while.

The answer came quicker, that time. “They all know now. That I’m not her.” That was good, at least. Himiko didn’t really understand why it took her so long to tell them. Especially since it was Maki. “They’re...being pretty good about it. But Takashi is still adjusting.”

Himiko wondered if Maki would ever think of those people as her real family. It wasn’t really Himiko’s business, and she didn’t know what outcome would make her friend the happiest. It just...felt important to think about.

Eventually, the movie ended, and Himiko said they had to play slumber party games. “Let’s start with...nyeh, Truth or Dare.” That got some nods from them, so Himiko pointed to Shuichi and told him, “You’re first, Shuichi. Truth or Dare?”

For a second, the Ultimate Detective was surprised, before acquiescing to the demand. It made Himiko want to laugh. The good thing about having a broken arm and a broken leg, it turned out, was that it let her get away with being more pushy. Though Shuichi was enough of a pushover, he probably would have been okay with the game even if Himiko had been fine. “...hmm...” Shuichi hummed, clearly thinking hard, before answering, “Truth.”

That wasn’t what Himiko had wanted him to pick. She’d been hoping to get to Dare him, like telling him to drink pickle juice or something. Instead, she just had to make do. But what to ask him? Didn’t Himiko already know pretty much everything about Shuichi. She felt like she did. Oh! “Shuichi, you gotta tell us something that we don’t know about you,” Himiko said.

Maybe that hadn’t been a good idea. Shuichi’s already pale skin got even whiter, and he looked a little clammy as he considered what to say. Himiko was actually starting to get worried about what Shuichi would reveal when he finally started trying to explain. “Ever since we learned the truth about what we are, I’ve been questioning a lot about myself. It’s hard to tell what was written as backstory and what feels natural, so I felt like I had to start thinking about who I really am.” He said it like he was apologizing to them, for some reason.

Himiko looked at Maki, who also seemed to be confused. “What have you been questioning, exactly?” Maki asked him, her voice still as steady as it usually was.

It took him a minute to respond, it looked like he didn’t know how to find the right words. “...the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don’t feel like a boy, and I never really have. I’ve always been kind of uncomfortable when Kaito would talk about how I should be more manly, or when Tenko would call me a degenerate male...or even when people called me ‘he’.” Now it was starting to make sense to Himiko. This was a gender-y thing. She’d asked her moms about what ‘transgender’ was while in the hospital, that was how she got a whole lecture from Tall Mom about gender. “So I talked about it with my therapist, and while I’m not really sure what I  _ am _ , I do want to try using different pronouns. So...if you guys didn’t mind using ‘they’ and ‘them’ for me? Just to see how it feels?” Shuichi was still talking about this like they were really sorry about having to explain it, which was just silly in Himiko’s opinion.

“Hey Maki,” Himiko said, looking over at her friend. “They’re being silly. They don’t have to be nervous, nyeh. Shuichi is Shuichi.” Every time she used that neutral pronoun, she could see Shuichi getting a little less nervous, as they started to smile again.

In Himiko’s opinion, gender just wasn't something important. She didn’t really feel like a ‘girl’, whatever that meant, but she also didn’t care enough about it to do what Shuichi was.

But it was clearly important to  them , so it didn’t matter what Himiko’s thoughts on her own gender were. What mattered was making Shuichi feel supported.

It looked like Maki got what Himiko was doing. “They’re acting like an idiot,” Maki replied. “They should know that if anyone tried to give them shit over not being a boy  **I would do everything I can to protect them** .” A little less openly violent than some of Maki’s threats, but the tone sold the possible carnage.

Shuichi started crying. A lot. Rolling her eyes, Maki moved across the room and gave them a hug, and while Himiko couldn’t get out of bed, she still made the motion towards them. A magical air-hug. Eventually, they wiped their tears away and said, “Thank you. This...means a lot. I love you guys.” The words came almost choking out of their throat, it was obvious there was a lot of emotion behind what they were saying.

Of course, Himiko wasn’t crying. Someone had just cast an Onion spell on her eyes. “I love you too,” she told them.

Sighing, Maki grumbled, “Yeah, I love you both.”

The three friends meant those words every time they said them. They’d gone through things together that very few others had, and come out of it all with an unbreakable friendship that truly was full of love.

The touching moment was interrupted by three phones buzzing in unison. They all looked, though it was a bit harder for Himiko with only one hand available, and each saw they’d gotten an email from the government lady. ‘Meeting Tomorrow’ was the subject line, and the message was, ‘Sorry for the short notice, but a car will be picking you all up at Yumeno’s house tomorrow morning. Can’t say what it’s about yet, but it’s pretty big.’

They had no clue how much of an understatement that was.


	12. Never Really Over

Maki had no clue where they were going.

Just like the email had told them, a car was there at Himiko’s house the morning after the slumber party. All the windows were heavily tinted, and the driver refused to say anything, no matter how much any of them tried to talk to her.

Shuichi wasn’t saying anything. The driver had taken their phones from them before they left, so the detective was just looking down. Maki was good at reading people, but Shuichi didn’t really take an expert. They were tense, anxious, nervous.

Meanwhile, Himiko had fallen asleep, her snores the only interesting sound available.

If only Maki could let herself be so idle. But it was her job now, to protect those two.

She was running the odds in her head.

55% said that she was worrying for nothing. After all, Moriko had done right by them thus far.

35% said they would be needed for the trial after all. Maybe even as defendants. After all, Maki had attempted to kill Kokichi.

10% said that this was a transfer of property. They were being given back to Team Danganronpa.

If the last one turned out to be the case, Maki’s hands wouldn’t be clean for long. No matter what she had to do, no matter who she had to kill, she would keep them out of the hands of those monsters.

The drive didn’t end up being too long after all. When the car finally stopped, and the woman at the front of the car told them to get out, they found themselves in a nondescript underground parking garage, and were led to an elevator.

A very familiar elevator.

The last time they had stood in it, Maki and her friends were being escorted out of this very building.

They were once again in the headquarters of Team Danganronpa.

The odds shuffled in Maki’s head. The last option was now at least 40%. She prepared herself for what she might have to do.

Up and up the elevator went, until they got out in what looked like a fairly normal office building.

It was almost normal enough to make Maki forget that the people who worked there had killed her friends for entertainment.

The driver led them down a hallway, past a bunch of offices, until opening the door for them. It was a conference room, and there were already a few people waiting inside for them.

Two of them they knew already: Moriko Masa and Zatsu Kokaki. The third was a stranger, a skinny man in his late twenties who seemed to already have a receding hairline, and was wearing a suit.

The door was shut behind them, but just as Moriko began to speak, Maki talked over her. “We  **trusted** you.” Maki made no effort to hide her feelings.

Judging by how terrified the guy in the suit looked, it showed.

The therapist looked concerned, as usual, but Moriko just seemed frustrated. “Uggghhhhh,” she groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose with one hand. “Maki, pump the breaks, we’re not handing you back over to them.”

Maki blinked.

While the prosecutor continued to look annoyed, Zatsu spoke up. “We’d never let that happen.” As cynical as Maki could be...she felt like the woman meant that. Gesturing to some of the open chairs, she added, “Take whatever seats you want, and don’t worry, this should be good news.”

Maki waited for Shuichi and Himiko to pick where they wanted to sit, then made sure she would positioned between them and the adults. Maki gave a reply, still looking at the only man in the room, “I don’t see how any good news means we had to come back  **here** .” There were murmurs of assent to that from her friends.

“We can revive the other contestants!!”

The room went dead silent.

Now, everyone was looking at the one who’d spoken, the man who looked so nervous. Maki didn’t know what she could say to that. Shuichi, at least, tried to speak. “ _ What? _ ”

Moriko took a deep breath, and Maki felt fairly sure she was mentally debating what she was going to do to that guy later for his outburst. The recognition came from familiarity.

“This man is Fumi Takahada, and he works for Team Danganronpa in their Mental Reconditioning Department,” Zatsu explained, taking over the conversation smoothly once it was clear no one else was very keen on talking.

Fumi coughed. “We prefer to be called the Programming Department...”

As if he hadn’t said anything at all, Zatsu kept talking. “He, like most employees with his company, have found themselves responsible for at least twelve counts of negligence in the death of minors, as well as numerous other crimes.” Maki didn’t miss the implication. Were they considering suing the company for not only the deaths of her other friends, but everyone else they’d led to their deaths for the show?

“You’re here because they’re interested in cutting a deal,” Moriko said, eyeing the technician with obvious disdain. “If they can successfully bring back some of the other teenagers they helped kill, those deaths will be dropped from their charges.” Judging by how the man winced as she said that, he didn’t agree with her word choice.

Well too bad. Maki felt Moriko was still putting it mildly.

Still, the actual thing they were discussing...it rattled Maki’s brain.

“How can they resurrect people? Even  I can’t cast spells like that,” Himiko said, her voice filled with awe.

The sallow-faced worker brightened a little at that, seemingly happy to explain the idea. “It’s pretty genius, actually! See, we already have their backstories and character concepts from the beginning of the season, right? We just need to put them in new bodies!” His words made Maki’s stomach twist in nausea.

That just...it made some sense. But it sounded so callous, dehumanizing. “But what about the experiences they had while we were in the Ultimate Academy,” Shuichi asked, seemingly less bothered by the concept, instead picking apart the practicality of it.

“That’s the best part!” Fumi exclaimed. “Normally, there’d be nothing we could do, but you were all recorded 24/7! We know everything they did, and so we just need our writers to turn those experiences into more backstory. It won’t be perfect, and it’s still untested, but it could work!”

They could come back.

**Kaito** could come back.

But would it really be them? “What if it doesn’t work?” Maki asked. “What if you try it, and they’re just bad imitations of the people we knew?” It would hurt. She knew that. If she let herself hope and she gave it a try and it failed it would  **hurt** .

The prosecutor was ready to answer that question. “We’re willing to give them a trial run. A month or so for you to make a decision if it really worked or not. If it does, we drop some of the charges. If it doesn’t, they’re getting the worst penalty we can muster.” There was no mercy in Moriko’s voice. Good. Maki didn’t think anyone at Team Danganronpa deserved any.

“Since you’ll be the ones observing them to see how well the process worked, you three will get to choose who is brought back during the trial period. Not only that, who gets brought back  **period** is up to you,” Zatsu explained. A kink in her cheery armor briefly surfaced as she flinched. “We’re aware that there may be some from your school you aren’t particularly interested in having back.”

The weight of that decision started to settle on Maki’s shoulders. Pick who would come back.

All three adults got up and walked over to a nearby door. “Talk about it, we’ll be back in ten minutes for an answer.”

Then, it was just Himiko, Shuichi, and Maki in a room together. Left to look at each other, thinking about what to say first.

“Should we even be doing this?” Maki asked to start with. “Do you think they can really recreate our friends like this? It seems more likely that they’ll just be cheap knock-offs.” She felt they might as well face that truth first.

Shuichi didn’t look convinced. “Possibly. But it isn’t any different from what happened to us. If we were to say that this method couldn’t bring them back out of hand, without proper consideration, wouldn’t we be denying that we’re really ourselves?” They had a point.

It looked like the conversation was going over Himiko’s head. “Let’s just say they’ll really be our friends,” Himiko said, simplifying things. “We gotta bring back Tenko! She didn’t kill anyone, and...” her voice trailed off. Maki knew the topic of the dead Ultimate Aikido Master was a sore one for her.

But it wasn’t like Maki could throw stones. “Kaito.” She didn’t feel like she had to say more than that. He may have killed Kokichi, but only to save Maki’s life.

She knew what Shuichi would say before they even opened their mouth. “Kaede.” She was a bit of a rougher sell, compared to Himiko and Maki’s picks. After all, even if she’d been exonerated posthumously, she had tried to kill Rantaro. Of course, Maki had tried to kill Kokichi, so she couldn’t really throw stones.

No one objected though. “Okay then, those three for the test,” Maki said. “What about if the test works? What do we do?”

Himiko looked confused by the question. “Nyeh? We bring them all back.” She said it like it was blindingly obvious.

It was almost enough to make Maki laugh. Of course Himiko would look at it that simply. “Korekiyo was a serial killer, and he killed Angie and Tenko. Kirumi murdered Ryoma in cold blood. Tsumugi...” Hell, listing everything that bitch had done wrong would take all day.

She’d expected Shuichi to take her side, but they surprised her. “But all of those crimes were motivated by a past that wasn’t real. Outside of the Ultimate Academy, Kiyo didn’t kill anyone. Kirumi only killed Ryoma because she thought she was in charge of Japan.”

“Tsumugi didn’t have any excuses like that.”

“Are we sure? Do we  _ really _ know that everything she said about herself was true? How do we know all of that wasn’t planted in her head?” Shuichi asked question after question. “Maybe we could ask them to, I don’t know, edit out those parts of-”

“ **No** .” Maki stared into Shuichi’s eyes. “If we’re bringing anyone back, we’re bringing them back as  **themselves** . No editing. No changing.” She couldn’t believe Shuichi would never consider the idea. If she had died in the show, would they now be considering editing out her past as an assassin? Making her into the Ultimate Child Caregiver for real?

She didn’t know if Shuichi knew that was what she was thinking, but Himiko brought up another problem. “Plus, it wouldn’t be like we could hide the truth forever. They’d be able to look up what really happened online.”

Both of their arguments seemed to work. “Okay, you make good points. I guess we’ll-”

The door opened. “Done yet?” Moriko asked, sounding bored.

They all looked at each other. “I think we know who we want for the trial period,” Shuichi said, speaking for them. “But we need more time to decide on what to do after that.” It sounded good to Maki.

The answer didn’t phase her. “Fine. Tell us who, and they can get started.” They told them who they wanted, and got a nod back. “Okay. According to them, it’ll take at least two weeks to reformat their backstories and find new bodies for them.”

That feeling came back to Maki’s stomach, but it was Himiko who asked, “Where are the bodies...coming from?”

Fumi rushed to answer. “We’ll just be reusing actors from other shows, or pulling some out of deep storage! We’re not accepting any new performers right now for, uh, obvious reasons.”

That was a better answer than Maki expected but still...actors? Performers? Were those the words they hid behind to feel better?

It seemed to make Himiko feel relieved. “Good. It would be nice, if all sixteen of us could be together again?”

What she said seemed to surprise Fumi. “Sixteen? Oh! You’re counting K1-B0 and Tsumugi.” He looked, for the first time since they met him, conflicted about how to feel. “We’re rebuilding the robot right now, and it will be even easier to restore it to how it was before it exploded, since we were backing up its memory regularly. But as for Tsumugi...” His face became tight, like he was sucking on a lemon. “She wasn’t fictional. We messed with her abilities, played around with her personality a little, but...we can’t bring back real people.”

Zatsu pointedly cleared her throat. “They are  **all** real people.” Maki’s appreciation for the therapist grew quite a bit at that.

“Yeah, sure,” Fumi said, but he made no effort to hide the fact he clearly didn’t really agree. “...some days, I still head into the cafeteria, and I think she’ll be sitting in her usual spot...” Then the man just trodded away, his job apparently done.

If he thought that would make Maki care even an iota about Tsumugi Shirogane, he was wrong. She deserved what happened to her, and worse. The fact she couldn’t be brought back was fine with her.

“A few more things before you go,” Moriko said, as they all stood up to leave. “One, this is top secret. Aside from the families you’re living with, tell no one. The press  **cannot** find out about this deal if it doesn’t work.” That was fine with Maki. She could be quiet. “Two, these new bodies are probably not going to have families willing to take them in, like yours did. You were all pretty lucky. See if they can stay with you? If they can’t, I can pull some strings, but the penny-pinchers are looking for any way to save money.”

The idea was really starting to hit Maki, as they all walked out to the elevator. She might be getting Kaito back.

Her first impulse was to harden her heart, to prepare herself for it to go wrong.

But...things had been going well.

Maybe, just maybe, Maki could look forward to this.


	13. Asking Permission

It was the evening after the meeting they’d had with the government ladies, and Himiko was sitting on the couch with her Moms, snuggled between them, her broken leg resting on an ottoman.

Himiko wasn’t really paying attention to the show on the television. Or was it a movie? Either way, it had a lot of kissing, and Himiko couldn’t really bring herself to follow it.

Her moms liked it though, and that was good.

The problem was, all Himiko could think about was the test.

After getting home, Himiko had done her best to explain to her moms about the whole thing. It took them a while to understand, especially because Himiko herself didn’t, but eventually Tall Mom had just called the government lady, and that helped them get it.

But she hadn’t told them the big thing. Who one of the people coming back was, and that they wanted to know if she could stay there.

Part of the problem was, Himiko hadn’t really talked to her moms about Tenko. Which kinda meant she should...right?

“Can we talk about something?” Himiko asked, out of nowhere. Her moms looked at each other, like they were somehow talking without words. Did they secretly know magic?

Tall Mom paused their romantic thingy. “Is it about the meeting, Himiko? I think our discussion with Ms. Masa gave us the general picture.”

Himiko blushed. “Um, nyeh...I might have not told you everything...” That really got her moms to look at her more seriously. “O-one of the people coming back first is Tenko.”

That got them to raise their eyebrows. So, they did know who she was, Himiko thought.

It wasn’t too surprising. She’d thought for a while that they’d watched at least a little of the show. Curious to see what happened to Aini? Or was that when they first started to care more about Himiko?

That whole thought topic felt  wrong . Himiko dropped it.

“Oh really?” Short Mom asked, looking a little embarrassed. Tall Mom was hiding that she knew a lot better. “So, um, Himiko...who is Tenko?”

Himiko looked like she was zoning out, but she wasn’t entirely able to keep the blush from returning to her cheeks. “She was the Ultimate Aikido Master,” she started. “She was really nice, kind of annoying...But when she died, it was really...”

Himiko was really starting to struggle. All the words she’d been preparing in her head fell away. As her moms watched, Himiko started to tear up. “She liked me a lot, but I was mean to her. Right before she died, I was really,  really mean to her. But she died doing something for me. If she can come back, really come back, I want to apologize.”

Doing her best to suck her tears back in, Himiko wished she had an illusion spell prepared to hide how she looked.

For some reason, Tall Mom smiled. “I’m sure she’ll forgive you, Himiko. From what you say, she was a kind person.” Then, she reached for the remote.

But they weren’t done yet. “Um,” Himiko said, biting her lip nervously. “There’s another thing.” She took in a deep breath as her parents watched. “TenkowillneedaplacetostaysoIwaswonderingifshecouldstaywithus!” The words came out in a clump, but judging by the shocked looks on the moms’ faces, they still understood it all anyway.

“Of course she can!” Short Mom exclaimed, gingerly leaning over to hug Himiko as tight as she could without making her injuries worse. “This is so cute! We’d love to have her over, for as long as she needs!”

Tall Mom made that face she made sometimes when Short Mom said something without asking her first, but nodded along with what she said anyway. After clearing her throat, she added, “Of course, there will be rules. We can’t have you two sharing a bedroom, she’ll be expected to help out around the house, and...” with more menace than Himiko had ever heard from either mom, she finished, “...she will need to prove herself worthy of being with our baby girl.”

Himiko tried to pretend she didn’t know what that meant.

* * *

“So, Maki, how is school going?”

They were all around the dinner table, as was to be expected. Maki had been attending meals more often. They weren’t...terrible.

In-between slurps of the rather plain ramen that Matsuko had made for them all, Maki thought of her answer. “Fine.”

It was impressive that Matsuko could hear that, delivered rather flatly, and smile like she’d just been told Maki was accepted into a top school. “That’s wonderful!” Maki wondered if she was losing her touch at stoicism. “Anything in particular that you’re enjoying?”

Maki suddenly realized that maybe, the fact that she usually answered that question with silence was what gave away something had improved. (It just shows I’m letting my guard down too much around them.) “...pretty much everyone’s learned to leave me alone.” That first day hadn’t been enough for some of Marika’s so-called friends.

What she didn’t mention was the exception to that rule. Some girl, a transfer student who didn’t seem to spend time with anyone, had been sitting with Maki at lunch. Stares and silence refused to get her to leave. So Maki decided to just wait it out. But this Ayumu girl kept coming back.

Even stranger...they’d started talking. Not a lot. Just a few sentences a day.

Still, Maki didn’t hate it. Or her.

“What about that thing you were telling us earlier?” Takashi said. He was almost comfortable talking to Maki again, which was progress, she supposed. “Something about people from the show you were on, uh, coming back? What are they like?” Maybe it was because of the kids at the table, but he was talking around the part where these kids were currently dead.

Maki waited until she finished her bowl to reply. “Tenko’s a martial arts expert. Kaede’s a piano player.” Both parents looked a little down at that. (What, were you expecting me to wax about their personalities for half an hour?) But that did leave...”Kaito wanted to be an astronaut.” The problem was, Maki couldn’t leave it there. Not for him. “We were close, and Kaito actually needs a place to stay, at least for a little while. I was hoping that could be here?”

Matsuko and Takashi looked at each other, and Maki could tell they were reluctant to agree.

So, Maki cheated. She bit her cheek, looked down at the table, and thought about the saddest things she could.

( **I’m** the one responsible for Kaito’s death. He died for  **me** . I couldn’t stop Team Danganronpa from executing him. **Even if I had** , he would have died of the sickness they forced on his body.)

It was enough. Tears welled up in her eyes, and ran down her face.

There were gasps from the others at the table.

Takashi sighed. “Your friend can stay in the guest room.”

Victorious, Maki wiped her tears away. “Can I be excused?” she asked, to which Takashi gave a nod. Maki got up, taking her bowl with her, and after dropping it in the sink she had just a few more words before she left. “Oh, by the way, Kaito is a guy.”

She could hear Takashi sputtering every step down the hallway. It was almost enough to make Maki smile.

* * *

Shuichi was having a very, very bad evening.

_ Oh, come on! What’s got you so down, huh? Huh? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh?? Are you really that pissed off I might be coming back for real? _

Somehow, Kokichi’s disembodied taunting wasn’t actually what was making it so terrible.

Weirdly, Kokichi possibly coming back to life wasn’t a big deal. Outside of the confines of a murder game, Shuichi felt oddly sure that Kokichi wouldn’t be nearly as big of a problem.

No...what had them so on edge was the person who wouldn’t leave their thoughts.

Kaede Akamatsu.

Aside from Rantaro, she was the person they’d spent the least time with during the killing game, the second to die.

For a long time, Shuichi would have given anything to see her again, and this entire proposal would have been a dream come true for them.

That was before they’d learned the truth.

How...how could they face her?

Shuichi had failed her. They’d failed them all. It was the undeniable reality of the situation.

If they had been a better detective, then the mastermind would have been caught from the start. Kaede wouldn’t have been executed for a crime she didn’t commit.

How could Shuichi face her, and tell her everything that she had missed? How could they admit it was all their fault?

Shuichi blinked, and struggled to focus their eyes on the screen.

Remember what Ms. Kokaki said, they thought to themself. Breathe in. And out. In. And out. Don’t focus on the anxious thoughts. Don’t let the anxiety guide their mind.

Starting to regain control, Shuichi continued their research. Ever since they’d gotten home, after briefly going over what happened with Ran, Shuichi had been researching this mind technology more.

It seemed like a sound idea. From what they could see, Danganronpa had the most robust backstories and personality installations in the industry.

The technology worked like this: They could replace any information in the human brain with similar information that had been forged. Memory for memory, skill for skill, preference for preference. Thus, in order to make sure their characters were completely fictional, Danganronpa spent ages compiling as many fake details as a human brain could hold real ones. Complete overwriting.

Simply taking what they had for them, and adding on for what had been observed by the Minikumas, it would be possible to recreate the dead as perfectly as could be imagined.

The bodies were really the only sticking point.

In Japan alone, there were tens of thousands of ‘actors’ who had been used in one program or another, only to be put into cryogenic sleep, frozen as they were, until they were needed again. Most of the teenagers and young adults available were actually decades older, their biology halted to keep them young between ‘casting choices’.

It made Shuichi want to throw up, reading about all of it. But they kept reading anyway.

Even with that large a catalogue, it would be impossible to find people that matched the dead to a T. Even if they used plastic surgery to try and make up for the difference, they would still be different bodies.

But Shuichi didn’t care what Kaede looked like, if it was really Kaede.

There hadn’t been a great amount of research done on the effects of using the same mental template on various different brains, but from what Shuichi could find, there didn’t seem to be any differences.

The body would be different, but everything they could look up suggested the mind would be the same.

Or close enough to the same to be indistinguishable.

“Hey, kid, you okay?” Ran asked from outside, knocking on their door.

Turning from the bright computer screen to the rest of the dark room left an afterimage on Shuichi’s eyes for a second, and they had to blink it away before replying, “Y-you can come in, Mom.”

Calling her that got easier every time they did it. The door opened, and Ran looked at them, clearly concerned. “You look like crap,” she told Shuichi, frankly. “Listen, I get this whole resurrection thing is freaking you out. It would do the same to me. But if you want to talk, I’m here to listen.”

Shuichi appreciated the idea, but wasn’t really sure if they would take her up on it. What they did realize, however, was that they’d forgotten something before. “I’d actually wanted to know, if it was okay with you, could Kaede stay with us?” Despite the hesitinence obvious in their voice, Shuichi somehow made it through the words without stumbling.

They’d been afraid that Ran would throw the idea out, but instead she immediately smiled. “Absolutely. Maybe having her around could help you.” Shuichi wasn’t sure about that, but they were happy she agreed anyway. But she didn’t leave. Instead, Ran walked over and sat on their bed, looking at them. “Want to tell me more about her? So I know what to expect.”

Turning away from the computer, Shuichi told Ran even more about Kaede, trying to focus on what they liked about her, rather than what they were scared of.

By the time Shuichi ended up deciding to take a nap, once Ran went out to her room, they were starting to feel just a tiny bit of hope.

_ Which will make the despair all the more perfect, mwa-hahahahahaha! _

Shuichi wished they had taken Ms. Kokaki up on her offer of a pharmaceutical solution to Kokichi’s voice. But for the moment, he was still just a voice, nothing more.


	14. New Bodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this chapter is from Kaede's perspective, and she doesn't know about Shuichi's change in pronouns yet, Shuichi'll be in he/him for this chapter.

Unlike some of the other characters, it didn’t take them long to find a new actress for Kaede Akamatsu.

After all, her look wasn’t incredibly uncommon in pop culture, and neither was her build.

The actress they’d chosen had last been used for a side character in some drama years ago, and ever since she’d languished in statis, her biological age frozen somewhere around 17 years old.

Well, it was time for her final, permanent, new role.

Once brought back to the world of the living, she was as malleable as they expected.

When not in use, immersive actors weren’t just left to continue inhabiting their last character. That would be far too messy. Instead, they just overlaid them with a simple character: an everyday person, unemployed, who was just coming out of an operation.

Throw some intern in a doctor’s coat and have them show the actor a Flashback Light, and things were golden.

Small revisions using the Light would let the person stay conscious, but a complete mental rewrite usually knocked them out.

She went from placid, if curious, to out cold in seconds. The intern handling her had been a fan of season 53, ending and all, and did marvel at how close this actress was to her original.

Some time later, as the drugs that kept her unconscious started to wear off, Kaede Akamatsu opened her eyes.

Looking around the room she was in, her mind struggled to figure out where she was, what was going on.

It looked like a generic, if a little spartan, office. Had she fallen asleep, in what a quick look down confirmed was a computer chair?

Wait...

Why was there an office in the Ultimate Academy?

How did she get in this place?

Kaede tried to remember the last things that happened to her.

She nearly threw up on the spot.

Her crime.

Her trial.

Her execution.

That...had to have been a dream, right?

But the more Kaede looked at the memories, the more sure she was they were real. Intentional or not, it had been her trap that had killed Rantaro Amami, and after Shuichi revealed her crime Kaede had been ready to pay the price.

At the very least, she could take solace in the promise she’d gotten from her friends. They’d told her they’d all get out, and when they did, they’d all still be friends.

None of that explained why she was in an office.

Unless...this was the afterlife? Kaede examined it more closely. It was more beige than white, but...she had seen more than one story where the world beyond was more boring and bureaucratic. 

Still, if this was what came next, it was better than it had any right to be.

After what Kaede had done, she knew she deserved eternal torment.

Rising up from the chair proved surprisingly difficult. Kaede’s body felt...odd.

There wasn’t really one thing she could immediately point out as strange, if someone had been there to ask. It was a million tiny things, that all came together into a pervasive anxiety. Not only that, her legs felt weak, like she hadn’t stood up in ages.

Still she could take a step forward, and a quick glance around told her there was only one door in or out. Kaede was considering investigating the room more, when there was a shout from outside the room.

“ **What the hell?!** ”

It wasn’t one person screaming, but two of them in near-perfect unison. They also sounded...familiar.

Staggering to the door, Kaede opened it, grateful it wasn’t locked, and entered a different room.

This one was clearly some kind of lounge, fairly well furnished, with two couches in the middle, a coffee table in between them. Standing by two other sets of open doors were some very familiar people.

Or at least, generally familiar.

The one on the left was looking at Kaede like she’d seen a ghost. She moved to put her hands up in a familiar combative gesture, though they moved a lot slower than Kaede was used to seeing. “K-K-K-Kaede??” Tenko Chabashira asked.

Meanwhile, on the right, someone Kaede usually expected brashness from was looking pretty calm. Running a hand through his short hair, Kaito Momota muttered, “Shit, you too?” He appeared, at best, mildly put out to see either Tenko or Kaede.

The thing was, as sure as Kaede was that these two were her friends, she also wasn’t.

The Kaito in the room with her was taller than she remembered, by at least two or three inches, and while he was filling out the jacket he usually wore with as many muscles as normal, if not more, the small bit of facial hair on his chin looked a lot more sparse.

Tenko, on the other hand, had the opposite problems. While she didn’t show it off as much, Kaede had still noticed the Ultimate Aikido Master’s well honed physique back when they first met, made obvious whenever she struck a pose like she was doing in that moment. That athletic build was gone, replaced with something more lean, almost unhealthily so. Her hair color was off as well, just a shade or two too brown.

There was more than that, a lot more. Small details here and there that didn’t feel quite right.

But the way they stood, the way they talked, the way they...existed, Kaede just  _ knew _ they were her friends.

Trying to focus on that, rather than all the confusing bits, Kaede took a step closer to Tenko, arms outstretched. “Whatever’s going on, I’m glad to see you-”

Before Kaede could finish that sentence, Tenko backed away a few steps and snapped, “Stay back, spirit!!” Something in her voice made Kaede feel like, if she continued her approach, the girl might actually attack her. “This is  crazy ! I was just in a séance, and then...is this the ghost world? Why are you pretending to be Kaede?!”

Tenko’s words didn’t make any sense to Kaede, but it looked like they struck a chord with Kaito. He also seemed to be sweating a lot, though he was trying to put on a serious face. “Y-you’re probably not too far off,” he said, not doing a good job at minimizing the sound of his chattering teeth. “But that’s probably really Kaede. Tenko, you  **died** .” The bottomless pit of despair in Kaede’s stomach that she’d been trying to ignore suddenly seemed so much colder, and so much more hungry. “I mean, so did I. Which means...”

That they were  _ all dead _ .

Kaede had been right, this was some sort of...afterlife.

“Degenerate male!” Tenko spat. She wasn’t ready to accept it. “The  real Kaito is still alive, I just saw him a little while ago!” Suddenly looking cocky (and rather smug), Tenko added, “Also, those aren’t very good disguises. You couldn’t even fool Gonta.”

For some reason, the Ultimate Entomologist’s name made Kaito’s face fall, pain making him forget whatever had been freaking him out before. “Yeah, well, you don’t look like yourself either, Tenko.” For a second, she almost looked down at herself, but stopped and continued glaring at him. “That séance is the last thing you remember because it was right before you died. Korekiyo had set up a trap in there, and it took you out.”

Kaede put a hand to her mouth in horror.

The killing had continued? Her murder hadn’t been the last? The promise had been for nothing?

Tears started to fall, but the conversation continued around her anyway.

“That’s impossible!” Even through her despair, Kaede could tell Tenko was starting to break. _Does she remember dying?_ _Is she trying to ignore it, the same way I’m trying to ignore the feeling of what being slowly strangled was like?_ “I-if that’s true, what about you?!”

“I was executed, like Kaede was.” Kaito spoke of it frankly, as if it wasn’t a big deal.  _ Kaito had killed someone? _ “Well, not exactly like hers. I was dying anyway, and my illness got me before Monokuma could.” Then he looked away from Tenko, and away from Kaede, focusing instead on the rest of the room. “Is it just me, or are both those couches built for three people?”

He was right. There was something else, too. “There’s another door,” Kaede said, her voice still thick from tears she’d yet to spill.

They all stared at that closed door, directly opposite the one Kaede had come through. Were any of them breathing? Kaede didn’t feel like she was anymore. The maelstrom of emotions in her was too overpowering to even have room for things like that.

Then, the door opened. And three more people they knew came through it.

Maki Harukawa.

Himiko Yumeno.

And...Shuichi Saihara.

They were all wearing the clothes they’d worn the last time she’d seen them, though they moved like they weren’t entirely comfortable with them. There was something else, more ephemeral, that felt different, but Kaede couldn’t tell what it was.

Unlike Tenko or Kaito, they all looked as they should, no strange differences, aside from the fact Himiko had an arm and leg in casts, and was walking with the aid of crutches.

Oh, and Shuichi had actually taken off his hat, one strand of his dark hair sticking up, not unlike Kaede’s.

He stood opposite from Kaede, just...looking at her. Everything else disappeared from her mind.

What was he thinking? How was he here? What was actually going on?

The little that had started to make sense no longer did.

“Himiko!” Tenko shouted, and in seconds she’d bolted across the room to face the shorter girl. “You’re hurt! But you look okay?  Are you okay?” More questions tumbled out of her, but Himiko...didn’t look bothered by them, like Kaede would have expected. She was actually grinning.

At the same time, Maki had screamed, “ **Kaito!** ” with more feeling that Kaede had  _ ever _ heard from her before, and in less time than felt possible she had crossed the distance and was hugging the Ultimate Astronaut tightly, tears rolling down her face.

He just laughed. “Hey there, Maki Roll!” His arms went around her shoulders, and Kaede watched, stunned, as Maki actually leaned into the gesture, not seeming to care there was anyone else in the room. Looking down at her, Kaito’s voice turned serious. “Don’t tell me you guys are dead too.”

Shuichi cleared his throat. “Ahem.” Everyone else went quiet, and now five sets of eyes were on him. To Kaede’s surprise, he actually seemed to handle that better than she would have expected. “We can explain everything, but we should sit down first.”

Tenko practically sprinted to one couch, taking the middle seat and setting aside the one to her right for Himiko, while Kaito and Maki grabbed the opposite spots on the other couch.

Which left Kaede and Shuichi sitting across from each other, Kaede next to Tenko, Shuichi next to Maki. Shuichi’s eyes rarely left Kaede, but she didn’t know what to make of that. He looked...conflicted.  _ Well, of course he’s conflicted _ .  _ I used his trap to kill someone. He’ll never trust me again. _

“This is going to be a lot,” Shuich started, looking from Kaede to Tenko and then across Maki to Kaito, who gave the Ultimate Detective a grin and a thumbs up. That was almost enough to punch through Kaede’s gloom; she had always appreciated Kaito’s positive attitude. “I’m guessing you all put together that you died. How you’re here is something we’ll get back to. You missed a lot, all of you, but some more than others, so I’ll have to start at the beginning.” He met Kaede’s eyes, and she could see a depth of sadness in them that made her gasp. “ _ I got your trial wrong. _ ” That...wasn’t what she was expecting to hear.

There was so much pain, so much self-hatred in those words, they almost made their meaning impossible for Kaede to decipher. “What...do you mean?” she asked, trying to put a faux smile over her roiling thoughts. “I admitted what happened, I killed Rantaro.” She hadn’t meant to, it was never supposed to be him, but that didn’t matter.

She was a killer either way.

“But  _ you didn’t _ ,” Shuichi pleaded, and she still didn’t understand what he meant. Kaito and Tenko looked confused as well. “Yes, you created the shot put trap, but it missed.” Kaede’s heart skipped a beat. It...had missed? Tears started streaking down Shuichi’s pale cheeks. “I missed it. I fucked it all up. The real killer was the Mastermind. There was another entrance to the Mastermind’s lair, they just came out of it, killed Rantaro, and then left, without any of us ever knowing.”

The things he was saying...they made sense. But they also didn’t.

Kaede had lived with the guilt of her crime in the short time between committing it and going to her death. She’d felt like she’d come to terms with it. Learning it had been wrong, that she’d been tricked...it should have made her feel better.

Why didn’t it?

Kaito was smiling at her, and even though it was still odd seeing someone who was mostly, but not quite, the same as Kaede remembered, it still bolstered her spirits, at least a little. “Did you hear that?! You weren’t a killer after all!” Kaede accepted the excitement, and didn’t say what she was thinking.  _ Only because I was sloppy. _

Getting back on track, Shuichi continued his explanation. “After your execution, the killing didn’t stop. Ryoma was killed by Kirumi, and Korekiyo killed both Angie and Tenko.” A confirmation at what they’d been told before, but it was still so hard for Kaede to believe. Kirumi? Korekiyo? They had turned to murder?  _ Well, I can’t really judge them, can I? _ “Then, Kokichi tricked Gonta into killing Miu, before then assisting Kaito in his own death to try and ruin the Killing Game.”

The little time Kaede had spent with Kokichi had given her an...unflattering opinion of him, but what Shuichi was talking about, it made her head spin. Even Tenko, who usually had nothing good to say about men, couldn’t help asking, “Gonta? I can’t...” Her words trailed off, and Kaede understood why. He had seemed like such a gentle person.

“It was only then, when there were five of us left, that things escalated. Keebo helped us investigate everything we could, and a final Class Trial was held. We were able to reach the real truth.” This, at least, was something Kaede  _ wanted _ to know more about. Who had been the Mastermind, the one who really killed Rantaro? She tried to put it together, based on who was sitting in front of her, and who Shuichi hadn’t mentioned dying.

The answer hit her seconds before it did the others, all of them dropping their jaws. “T-Tsumugi?  She was the Mastermind?!” Tenko asked. The other three students nodded.

It felt impossible for Kaede to wrap her head around it. She’d been such a kind girl. How could she...

But that wasn’t really anything, compared to the next bomb. “That wasn’t the only hard truth waiting for us.” It was Maki who spoke up, her tone as cold as a morgue. Himiko seemed content to just continue listening in, or perhaps more accurately, zoning out. “We solved the mystery of the Ultimate Academy, why we were all there, why we were forced to kill each other.”

The big mystery, looming over them, from the first second they had woken up in that place.

“It was a television show.”

Maki’s words hit Kaede like a freight train. That didn’t, it couldn’t...Starting to laugh, Kaede asked, “You’re joking, right? They couldn’t...people don’t  _ die _ on television shows, not really.” Judging by Kaito and Tenko’s faces, they were of a similar mind.

Shuichi wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t laughing. He looked...detached. Like he wasn’t really present in the moment any longer, as he explained further. “There was a game series, one that started a long time ago, called  _ Danganronpa _ . It was about a group of talented high schoolers, put together in a mysterious school, and forced by a robotic bear into a Killing Game.” An all too familiar situation.

Now it was Kaito trying to laugh away the idea. “Yeah, but, you said that was just a game, right?”

“It was, at first,” Shuichi replied, voice still empty. “But it was popular, and it kept going. At some point, people invented a way to replace people’s memories, personality, and skills with fabricated ones. That’s what the Flashback Lights really were.” That got gasps from Tenko and Kaito, but Kaede didn’t know the term. “We aren’t...we are all fictional characters, written for the show. The bodies we were all in came from fans, who volunteered to be a part of the Killing Game. We were created from them when they gave us our talents, our new memories, everything that makes us... _ us _ .”

It was an impossible thing to believe.

They weren’t...real? They had been made up, just for a television show?

But at the same time, was it any more strange than a robot bear and his five kids? A high school hidden under an unbreakable cage? A death game with an arbitrary judicial system attached?

It also got Kaede to think...about how they were still  _ there _ , even after death. If they could...

“We three were the only ones to get out of the Ultimate Academy alive. Keebo sacrificed himself to give us that chance, and Tsumugi died in the process,” Shuichi continued to explain, though it sounded like he was starting to come back to himself.

Three.

Of sixteen students, only three had survived.

But as for what was going on with Kaede, and where they were, things fell into place. “These...aren’t our bodies, are they? Or at least, they’re not the same ones we had before.” Looking down at herself, Kaede could see it. What had felt so wrong.

This just...wasn’t the body she was used to. A little less busty, which should have made it a little more obvious from the start. At some point, she’d have to get a mirror and really look herself over, take stock of what she looked like going forward.

Shuichi nodded. “Team Danganronpa, the company behind the show, is facing penalties for all the deaths on their hands, now that we’ve asserted our status as people.” Kaede shivered. ‘Asserted our status as people’...the fact they even had to  _ do _ that didn’t make her feel like the road ahead would be easy. “Recently, they contacted us with an idea: they could bring back the people who died, putting you all into new bodies, if that meant some of the charges got dropped.”

The fact Kaede was back among the living, only to help her tormentors escape their just punishment, didn’t feel right.

“Okay,” Tenko said, looking around the room. “So, why only us? Where’s everyone else?”

For the first time, Himiko said something. “They weren’t sure if it would work.”

“Oh,” Kaede said, putting up a weak smile. “So...we’re the lab rats then?” She wasn’t complaining, not really. It was better than still being dead, right?

Shuichi nodded, but before he could say more, Tenko interrupted. “That’s all impossible! I’m...I’m Tenko Chabashira! I might...feel a little weird right now, but I’m not fake! There’s no way everything we went through was just...just some show!” Kaede really wished she could object so strenuously.

“Stop screwin’ around!” Kaito shouted, looking angry. “If Maki Roll and my sidekick say that’s what happened, it’s what happened!” It still boggled Kaede’s mind a little, how close Shuichi, Kaito, and Maki all seemed to be. Even the way they sat together on the couch, it was like something broken had been reforged.  _ Something I missed by dying _ . Kaito waved a hand at everyone. “How else do you explain it, Tenko? Us being alive again, our bodies being off, them being here to greet us?”

Tenko looked like she was still willing to fight the idea, but Kaede jumped in, her eyes focused on Shuichi. “You’re sure?” Before he could answer, Kaede clarified herself. “I mean, you’re absolutely, positively confident that what you’ve told us is all the truth?” She didn’t know why...she just had to hear it, directly.

Taking a breath, Shuichi returned her gaze. “Yes. It’s hard to believe, but it’s all true.”

Kaede could feel it. He really did mean it. Smiling wider, and actually starting to feel the joy bubbling up for it (hiding her darker emotions beneath it), Kaede proclaimed, “Well, I believe it, then. I trust you, Shuichi. Always have, always will.” He blushed at that, which only made her want to smile more. He was cute when he was embarrassed.

Now that she was completely outnumbered, Tenko looked like she was ready to give in. “So...what are we going to do now?”

It was a good question.

With just a slight blush on her cheeks, Maki took over for that question. “We’re all staying with the families of the people who volunteered their bodies for us. They agreed you guys can stay with us too. Tenko’s with Himiko, Kaede is at Shuichi’s, and Kaito...you’re staying with me.” The news of lodging arrangements made Kaito smile like a kid on Christmas, and Tenko’s face was a deep red.

Kaede herself was...definitely interested in that news. Sure, she had complicated feelings with Shuichi, to say the least, but staying with him sounded like a good idea regardless. “Are we going then?” she asked, standing up a few seconds before everyone else joined her.

There were nods all around, and most of them moved towards the door, but Shuichi hesitantly spoke up. “U-um...if it’s okay with you guys, I wanted to talk to Kaede in private before we leave.” Hearing him say that made Kaede’s surface-layer good mood falter a little, and she watched everyone else leave them behind.

They were alone. Her and Shuichi.

Trying to push down her guilt as far as it could go, Kaede gave a weak smile and raised up her arms, doing her best to look more excited than she felt. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“I’m sorry.” Shuichi wasn’t crying, at least not yet, but his voice was heavy with emotion regardless. But Kaede didn’t understand...why was  _ he _ apologizing  _ to her _ ? “It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t...if I was a better detective, I would have figured out Tsumugi was the real killer, and you never would have...” His voice trailed off, and he looked at the ground, so she couldn’t see if he was starting to tear up again.

Had he...Kaede almost couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Had Shuichi actually been putting her death on  _ him _ ? For how long?

It tore her up. There she was, the one really responsible for all their woes, from day one, and Shuichi, the nicest, most hard working, and smartest of any of them, he was the one who had taken that burden onto himself.

Kaede wanted to reach out, to touch his shoulder, but it felt like there was a barrier stopping that. Her own guilt. Deciding that could wait for another day to be addressed, Kaede put on a smile again. “Shuichi, thank you for the apology, but...I don’t blame you. Tsumugi...” She shook her head. It was still baffling that  _ she _ had been the Mastermind. “...Tsumugi fooled everyone, right? You found the truth in the end.”

After a long sigh, Shuichi gave her something that looked a little like a smile. “How are you able to be so positive?” It was a good question.

_ I guess I’m just written that way. _ Kaede didn’t say that. She also didn’t tell Shuichi that, beneath her cheery attitude, was an ocean of resentment, fear, and despair. “We’re alive.” That sounded better. More appropriate. “You, me, Himiko, Maki, Tenko, Kaito. Maybe more of us, soon.” It was a simple truth, and one Kaede was trying to cling to.

“Could I...” Shuichi said, looking more genuinely happy, if a bit awkward. “...could we hug?” The wall came down. Nodding, Kaede came closer, and they embraced. “You’re a little shorter.” The observation made her laugh. Was she? Another thing to look into. Speaking of, as they pulled back from the embrace, Shuichi asked, “Anything else you wanted to talk about?”

There was one immediate question, actually. “How did you become good friends with Kaito and  _ Maki _ ?” Not that Kaede didn’t like the girl, but the Ultimate Child Caregiver was cold, to say the least.

He gave half a laugh at that. “After...” his voice trailed off, and the humor faded little. “...Kaito saw how alone I was, and had me start exercising with him. Then, he brought in Maki. And...we became friends.” It looked like he knew that sounded strange, but he didn’t have any other explanation.

They started to head out of the room, out of the office and into the world. “I’m glad.” She meant it. “I was...worried. That without me, you’d have been by yourself.” Or worse, that someone with unscrupulous motivations would have taken advantage of him.

Something seemed to just occur to him, his eyes going wide. “Oh! By the way, Maki  _ isn’t _ the Ultimate Child Caregiver.” That wasn’t...entirely surprising. She didn’t seem to be the nurturing type, after all. “She’s the Ultimate Assassin.”

Oh.

“That fits, actually,” Kaede replied, sharing a smile with someone dear to her, and trying to enjoy the second chance she was getting.


End file.
